Archives for September 2020

By Rosalind Ho 25th Sept 2020

Breaking this habit will lead to happier and peaceful relationships.

According to Cardwell, 1996, a stereotype is a fixed, over-generalized belief about a particular group or class of people. For example, a “hells angel” biker dresses in leather.

In the broader society, we face stereotyping on a daily basis, whether at home or in school but especially so in the workplace. This is exactly what is happening in many parts of the world now when people who feel stereotyped wants a change in the behavior of the opposing party.

Often, it is due to differences in thinking, lifestyles, behavior, culture, et cetera. The disparity and lack of understanding results in miscommunication, misunderstanding, and apathy. Anger, aggression, and violence do not provide solutions.

Human beings will never be perfect. We are born pure but conditioned by our upbringing, environment, and culture to have a certain perceived notion about events and people around us. How often have we heard statements like, “ Women are bad drivers”, “ Youth is wasted on the young”, “You are too old to be doing this” and so on?

The more you stereotype others, the less you understand them. The more you or others stereotype yourself, the more limitations you set on yourself.

Advantages to Stereotyping

There may be some advantages to stereotyping, however. It may enable us to respond rapidly to situations because we or someone else may have similar experiences before. It comes in handy when you need to analyze a person or event quickly.

As the old adage says, “ Birds of the same feather flock together”. If a particular group clearly displays undesirable behavior, and your son’s friend belongs to that group, it bodes well to dissuade or caution your child about his contacts.

In addition, if you want to be progressive in a certain skill and you are impatient to be endowed with the skill, it only makes sense that you hang around people whom you think have the expertise and likely to influence you to gain a deeper interest in your development of the skill.

If I want to know more about effective writing, for example, I would go to read about works written by popular authors. How I would stereotype ‘popular authors’ would be to look at the number of followers on the author’s profile. There is a reason why some of them have a following to the tune of six figures.

Disadvantages to Stereotyping

Stereotyping has led to discrimination and prejudice of people resulting in strife and unhappiness. We act before we even think. This gut feeling is not always useful and not accurate as well.

One disadvantage is that you only see one aspect of the person or group and ignoring other positive traits inherent in the other party. You may fail to overlook an important factor that could contribute to yourself or your organization as a whole because of your insignificant bias. You have made a generalization.

One time, my son who is not exactly a sharp dresser but a high saver was looking to buy a car and he was in his mid-twenties. He came back dejected that he did not get any service and was largely ignored. One salesperson finally came forward to explain to him sincerely. Well, he was stereotyped by most of them to be unaffordable of the car, I told him.

A badly dressed or inappropriate dressed person is unlikely seen to be a customer. He is seen as someone with not enough money to buy a car and more likely to be viewing cars as a hobby or fascination. My son said he was going back to buy the car from the sincere salesman.

Hence, the non-stereotyper got his business and laughed his way to the bank. My son thought it was a good way to draw the sincere and genuine seller who is not discriminatory but I told him that the better lesson learned is to improve on his dressing.

Not stereotyping others help us to think better. We make better friends, recruit better staff even marry better partners.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

How to stop stereotyping others

1 Understand the other party first — learn more about their likes, culture, personality before jumping into a conclusion. In the group, see the individual as one and not necessarily part of the group.

Celebrate diversity, make more friends, eat their food, pick up their lingo. You will find it more interesting than you think.

2 Look for the good-everyone has talent in different forms. You can learn something from everybody if you are able to excavate it. I learned much Chinese history from my patient who was a cashier with NTUC who turned out to be a very studious design graduate from Suzhou University. She benefitted from my teaching of English.

Every time you are inclined to stereotype others, train your mind to think another way and look for the positive traits.

3 Be mindful — Recognize when you are stereotyping someone and think of occasions when someone surprises you beyond your expectations. I had many occasions to meet foreigners who speak Mandarin better than many Chinese educated people. That is because they put in the interest and the effort to upskill themselves.

One time, we were asking for directions in a New York subway. The young black man we met was enthusiastic and friendly and he immediately engaged with me in Mandarin which he spoke with fluency and accuracy.

In our short conversation, I found out that he had learned Mandarin by himself watching Youtube and his dream was to go to Beijing to work and study Mandarin. I was very inspired.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and remember how you were being biased or prejudiced before. Or someone had said something demeaning to you because they have stereotyped you.

The next time, you are inclined to judge, remind yourself to be more empathetic, and seize the opportunity to create new friendships and be inspired.

How to stop being stereotyped by others

1 Develop respect for others.

One way is to be culturally humble. — The world is a diverse place inhabited by people of all races, cultures, and religions. Create curiosity and attitude to be interested in others. There are many refreshing and useful concepts that can be gleaned from other cultures and they can learn from us too. Interact in such a way that you consider others first without criticism. Then you will be greatly respected in turn.

A good principle was said by Confucius: Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.

2 Be broadminded and accepting of others. You can win a friend when you listen more and talk less. Moreover, you learn more. Communication is the bridge to a reliable relationship. As others open up to you so must you reciprocate such that there are trust and faith built in your interaction.

3 Refuse to be stereotyped — When people are prejudiced against you, take it as a challenge to prove yourself. You may not succeed at first but at least you have tried and you should try again.

Persistence will pay off if you build on your strengths. Behind this is hard work which involves gaining knowledge, learning skills, and sharing them if they benefit others.

Conclusion

The world is already global and connected. Diversity is here to stay and the world will become more complex as people evolve. We will never become one homogeneous race even it is the same race in one country. Because human beings are too different in their thoughts, likes, and upbringing. For a better world, one has to be aware of the stereotype habit.

Stereotyping is a threat to personal and corporate progress as well as happiness in life. It even threatens peace in general. We must break the stereotype habit, and substitute a new, better thought process in our modern world.

A hefty late payment imposition put me on a wild goose chase.

Summer Lotus Sep 20 · 5 min read

Technology brings with it many conveniences but if you do not roll with its punches, you have set yourself up for a big-time disappointment not to mention the possibility of computer rage and headbanging.

Change is not only constant but is ever-present and accelerating. I will use banking as an example. The scenario now is that you don’t see people. You can’t hear them too. Everything is negotiated through the fingers, clicking numbers. Then an auto voice would ask you to leave a message, go online to their website to resolve your problems, or wait for a reply 10 days later which may or may not come.

It happened to my credit card which often goes into the penalty realm. Time just gets the better of me and I am on a daily treadmill. I get charged late interest and finance charge to the tune of almost US$130 even though my purchase may be US$30. It could just be a day late in paying credit card bills to trigger this charge and boy, is it difficult to resolve.

Used to be, with a call to the bank, you can listen to a series of options. Then you choose the option to speak to a live customer service office and you are definitely able to get your request attended to. Usually, they would waive the late interest and finance charge on request.

These days, no one shows up in the ‘flesh’. I called many times to hear the same messages; that I needed to put the waiver request through the call and it would take 10 days for approval. By then, it may trigger another late payment since this is for settling last month’s bill that is due.

Fortunately, my middle name is Persistence. I called again and found out the latest option of online chat services. Well, a few more hurdles to scale. You will be given an SMS link, then type in your security link. Then more typing is needed. What happens if you don’t have a smartphone?

The response on the phone appeared, “ Hi, I‘m your Digital assistant, How may I help you?” I wrote out my request but it replied, “ I am still learning and am unable to recognize your input. You may also chat with our representatives by selecting with us”

The following boxes were displayed; ‘recent transactions’, ‘card activation rewards’, ‘fee waiver’, etc.

I clicked on the ‘fee waiver’. After keying in the credit card number, it answered me the way it would if I had done it through the call; another 10 days for a reply to know if my waiver is successful!

In my frustration, I typed, “ Are you a robot? I am not solving my problems here!” Somehow, by a stroke of good luck, a chat came up, “ We will put you in touch with our customer assistance, please hold on”

Whew! A really live chat! I explained my predicament and lo and behold, she mentioned that she could waive it immediately! I was elated. For those who did not have the time or patience to press on, you would have caved in and paid the hefty charges.

I seized the opportunity to pose other questions; Why is the password still automatically displayed on the website when I log in? Why does one get logged out so fast when online, as some people are slower in typing? These are all pertinent questions but if you use the ‘click the box ‘ system, you can never pose specific questions because the answers are often canned and connected to the algorithm and database.

I would conclude that to deal with today’s technological changes which are meant to improve our lives, you certainly have to keep abreast of them and get involved with their new options. Or risk being left in the lurch.

Even if you are put off, do not fear nor frustrate yourself.

The steps below may help;

1 Keep asking questions. Even if you have to ask a robot. Even if you have to express your frustrations to an algorithm, you never know they may just respond differently. They may just channel you to somebody live at the end of the chat!

2 Simplify. Reduce the number of bank cards if you have one too many. Unfortunately, in today’s world, one cannot do away with the card as most things would eventually be online. Every bank has its specific rules and they change ever so often. Some banks do not even entertain fee waiver so the penalty is set.

3 Pay on time.

Render to Caesar that is Caesar’s. The bank lends you the money and so is your master. It gives you the conveniences of a cashless transaction and offers many rewards through the points system but don’t forget to pay up and on time!

It may not be known to some people but some banks have increased the late interest payment to as high as 29% these days. Paying minimum payment will still result in the outstanding amount of incurring the stipulated interest fees. There is also a finance charge along with it and I have paid as much as US$73 or more. So paying your bills on time negates the necessity to contact the bank to waive your charges which these days is not so easy task if you are not tech-savvy or pressed for time.

I resolve to enjoy technology by getting organized. As it changes its forms and its applications, I will take up the challenge to morph with it. The modern world is an exciting one.

I do not wish to be left behind and be at the mercy of someone else who may not have the time to teach me the ropes. Anyone can learn if you try hard enough. Technology need not frustrate anyone. If it does, you have only got yourself to blame for not getting interested in our brand new world.

________________________

If you like the above story, you may be interested in the following:

What to do in this world of ever-changing technology?

How you can make technology work for you.

An amusing encounter in my search for a panacea to aging.

Summer Lotus Sep 18 · 4 min read

Recently, I received an invitation to a free beauty analysis which mentioned that a consultant would be especially engaged to give the customer more information and advice on beauty care. Little did I know that I would be in for an esteemed battering.

That fateful day, I arrived huff and puff from my office to be seated in front of the Consultant apologizing profusely for being late. She remarked that I was a visibly stressed person. I looked at her porcelain, even-toned face with fine features, and was very receptive to any make-over tips that she could offer to a woman on the physical decline.

‘We need to get some details’, the Consultant started, ‘ like your age, skincare routine and personal habits.’ I reluctantly told her my age, that my skincare routine was haphazard and that I depended on the free art of exercise to keep whatever remaining vestiges of youth intact.

Very calmly, she placed a box in front of me that was covered with a black cloth.

‘Now, put your face into the box. Keep close to the screen inside and adjust the mirror for a full view. I will be switching on some UV light and will explain to you about the findings’, she instructed.

Once inside and the UV light was switched on, I was momentarily shocked when confronted with a bluish face, eyes gleaming light purple. My face was bathed in UV light, a grim reminder of the possessed Linda Blair, who acted in the movie, The Exorcist. (dead giveaway of my age in mentioning this movie).

‘Hey, what’s this?’ I asked.

The Consultant started to elaborate,’ Now, can you see those white spots on the nose and near the eye-brows? — -those are the whiteheads. You have missed these areas during your cleansing. Next, notice these areas here on both sides of your cheeks? Your pigments are quite deep and extensive. Your skin is also very dry.’

With an eagle eye, she scanned my face further. ‘ Your face lacks moisture, your smile line is deep and that pulls on your face and results in open pores. Your eyes are also quite baggy with dark shadows beneath them.’

‘Wow, I knew that I was not young anymore but those findings caused my heart to sink and my self-esteem took a free fall.

I emerged from the black box to see reassurance that my vision would not be impaired by the UV light while listening to her explanations. That would add to my list of imperfections.

Next, the beautiful Consultant who had age on her side spread a survey form before me and proceeded to discover what led to the tragedy of her findings. In conclusion, she found that although I tried to keep relatively fit and eat quite sensibly, I suffered from a lack of adequate sleep, and was not heavily invested enough in skincare.

Hmm, something ought to be done, she hummed. Otherwise, the damage would be irreparable.

I was all ears. As a toastmaster, I knew she had made an excellent, persuasive presentation. A daily routine for skincare, night skincare, and the weekly skincare were all spelled out in sequence. If I followed religiously, I would be able to reduce or even eradicate some of the aging effects.

It all sounded so promising. However, the hurdle was that it would set me back at least $2000, and the fee was not for the whole regime but for the indispensable potions, the alchemy that only her salon possessed. The cost of the facial sessions was also not included.

Buying there and then would entitle me to a 5% discount and a gift. The pressure was on. I said that I would reply the following day after my deliberation.

I left the salon quite downcast. In my mind, I knew it was all an ancient marketing game. Create a need and you have a want. Then you get a sale. This creation of need, we see enough of it around us. Want to look young again? Well, botox away your wrinkles and create that V shape facial outline. The snag is that they do not last and require repeated doses after an interval.

Probably the most ubiquitous marketing is about boosting your physical assets that we see in newspapers, magazines, and social media. Want to feel confident, look good, and make your spouse happy? Go for it! If you feel vulnerable, there are solutions.

In all fairness, people should ride on the wave of new technology in material sciences and techniques as long as they can afford them. That is part of the enjoyment of life. Yes, I wanted to indulge in the labor and fruits of today’s scientific research. That’s how the world will continue to progress and human intelligence will never stagnate.

I went back to purchase selected items to test them in case they do not suit me. I also worked on my predisposing factors. However, I have become mindful that we all cannot escape the ravages of time. Otherwise, those aging millionairess would have soft, velvety skins which are not evident as far as I notice.

However, I would look inward and seek my peace and well-being through my connection with Providence and do good in life. One must continue to strive and discipline ourselves regularly to develop self-confidence and steadfastness. This is by continuous learning to keep abreast of changes around us and imbibe new, useful knowledge. Learning public speaking, reading and writing, meaningful social interaction, and developing new hobbies to excel are just a few ways.

So, if the skincare finally fails, these qualities that would make me shine could still carry me well into my grave and inspire others at the same time.

Become happier by your new version

Summer Lotus Sep 17 · 6 min read

By this age, I have experienced the highs and lows of life. From cradle to senior status, I have survived turmoils and turbulence in events and emotions. I concede that my troubles are nothing compared to many all over the world who are facing doom, impending death, and suffering.

I am speaking about the events that spring up every day and it may erupt anytime, anywhere just when you least expect it. I refer to the daily annoyances of working and private life. The usual reactions were being utterly upset, shocked, saddened, and greatly frustrated.

If you were to look back, most events and incidents die down or become alleviated because some actions were taken or some decisions were made. But in the interim, the unhappiness, the uproar, the disharmony that resulted were all futile. It need not have to be that way.

These days, I go about my life trying not to be ruffled by anything. It may be hard because some people or events are just provocative but does it help to scream and shout the problems away? Most troubles are caused by people themselves or even self-created and only you can assuage your supposed problems.

Taking the following steps would help.

1. Change of perspective

When an unhappy thing happens, I always look for the silver lining in the grey cloud. Something as mundane as choosing a color for your room and decorating the way you want may be highjacked by your family member because he or she is domineering and thinks that is the best option for you. It happened to a friend and many quarrels ensued.

Her pride had been trampled on, her choice disregarded and her sense of respect robbed. After much sharing, I proposed that she sees it as a gift of love and concern from her partner who cares enough to crack his head over her room. Otherwise, why would he go to that length? Decorating a room requires time, effort, and creativity and my friend agrees that she has none of these elements.

After the advice, she went about doing something else for her room such as looking for some decorative pieces and bathroom accessories which themselves are time-consuming activities.

Problem solved. Sometime later, when the opportunity avails, she could always have the room repainted.

In such times, retrenchment has become the by-word. A friend was so visibly upset when she was laid-off that she bordered on a breakdown. After much analysis, she conceded that she had been complacent and sitting on her laurels, not upskilling herself. Her contemporaries who stayed had the extra edge over her. While she was passing each day unremarkably, her colleagues have been displaying new skills and gaining new knowledge pertinent to the survival of the company.

The only way is to see it as a lesson as no amount of hollering would help. She grabbed the next job even at a severe pay cut, doing two jobs if necessary. Meanwhile, she upped the ante and used the government grants to upskill in some relevant courses. Out of necessity, her passion for work grew.

At the next interview, she shone and snared the job with a more decent pay. Because she viewed her predicament as a lesson, she was able to take positive action and came out stronger.

2 Control your emotions

Expressing emotions is the most human thing to do. But emotions when extreme can be destructive. I prefer a sort of temperance that allows your mind to be calm and steady which also affects your stance and behavior and most important your rationale.

As a dentist, my job can be fraught with uncertainties. Patients of all kinds come to my clinic. Some have had bad experiences and most do not like the dentists and would give the dental clinic a miss if they can help it. To deal with an angry or demanding patient requires another master’s degree to put it mildly.

My principle in handling these cases is never to fight fire with fire. I go soft when they go loud. I let patients vent first whether they are complaining about their previous dentists or unreasonable bosses or the damn pain. Even when I know that the next patient had booked for a difficult wisdom tooth operation and I am pressed for time.

Once the patients have said their peace, they usually felt better. Though under the stress of the daily schedule, I would do what is necessary and that is to diagnose accurately and alleviate the pain first. Comprehensive treatment planning may be dispensed and provided on another appointment when the patient is more receptive. In the next appointment, I find the patient highly manageable.

Once, during a difficult operation, where the tooth root was impossible to extract because of a dense bone condition, I would immediately decide on a small surgical option where some bone was removed so that the tooth root was accessible. There was no sense of feeling frustrated.

Short rest in between made the patient more relaxed and everything always turned out fine. I have always communicated the possibility of a surgical option even a referral if necessary and obtain the informed consent.

During such unprecedented times, one may view many aggressive videos of people fighting over the slightest issues. The restrictions of quarantine and Covid-19 consequences have caused people to rear their ugly heads.

Humans retrogressed into their basic animal instincts — fight or flee over the smallest issues. Anger, pride, greed, and envy overtook them and it is all for oneself and none for others. The slightest provocation and the negative emotions run amok.

Controlling your emotions is the panacea. Visualize the undesirable consequences that may result and look at the alternative way to respond rather than react will do well for everyone.

Take the time to catch your breath, let not the events of the world sweep you off your feet, meditate, pray, and think. Control what you can, let go of anything beyond your control. Retreat for a while, be still, trust yourself to come up with an idea. It may take time but everything works out in the end.

3 Clarification

Many incidents stemmed from misunderstandings. In today’s hectic world, people do not listen well and jump to their conclusions. When things go wrong, they are quick to point their fingers at others.

To this end, I believe that when a task is given to somebody, there should be clear leads and goals. In the company, colleagues turn foes when the project is upended. It would do well to apologize when the mistake is clearly on your side. The magic words, “ I am truly sorry” and followed by “ It will not happen again” heals all ugly incidents.

Communication is paramount for success to be achieved. Be succinct in what you say and do. Reasons for not carrying out as promised should be given. When matters are clarified, there is no rationale for ill feelings. The other important phrase is, “ Thank you very much” and “ I appreciate that” are music to anyone’s ears.

Listen more, talk less and you become the most sought after buddy anyone can have. When you run into a problem, your friends would be all ears for you too. These basic principles should also be carried back home to your spouses and your family members and you will be surprised that the home can truly become a haven or sanctuary.

As I journal, I practice these steps daily. I must say that I am a happier person because I am reaping the benefits of these habits. I hope that you would give them a try too. It is natural to lapse into our instincts or unawareness now and then but persist and you will be amazed at the new, happier you.

Back in the 80s, life was very different.

Summer Lotus Sep 13 · 6 min read

I was brought up with the saying that “An idle mind is a dangerous mind”. I am of the Hakka dialect and this particular group of people who originated from China is known to be laborious and hardy.

From a background of workaholics or perfectionists or so I believe, I used to watch my father who was a teacher working long hours. He taught in school and marked books in the evening and then prepared work for the following day. After that, he would work on his calligraphy assignments until mid-night. These projects were converted into signboards for shops and companies for a fee. These jobs served to bring food on the table for seven children.

My mum was a home-maker, involved in the drudgery of daily house chores, and balanced the acts of providing food for us on a tight budget and ensuring that we could meet our school fees. She would keep tabs on my growing siblings and this was no mean feat.

I was the youngest child. The flat was small with two bedrooms which consisted of a living room, a small kitchen, and an attached toilet. It was adequate for all of us. Four of my older siblings occupied two double-deckers in one room, and two brothers slept on the floors in the living room. I slept between my parents which accounted for me being the last, accidental child. I was the natural contraceptive in the 50s.

For many years on, I would struggle through school waiting for the ultimate day of liberation. I thought that day to be on graduation day as a full-fledged dentist until I went into the working world and found out that life was not a straight path.

In my supposedly eight years of the study bond with the government to serve as a dentist in the public sector, I was retrenched while working for only two years due to the recession of the mid-80s. I strongly believed that it was my pregnancy that ended my career in the civil service. I had asked for a transfer to a clinic nearer my home so that I could seek some rest during lunchtime since I was heavily pregnant and felt uncomfortable.

The next thing I knew, I received a letter stating that I would be required to serve the rest of my bond in the private sector in Singapore. I was then seven months pregnant with twins. It meant a savings of two months of salary and two months of maternity leave. I guessed it was the most expedient thing to do when the institution needed to cut costs. After all, the person in charge had the onerous duty of improving the bottom line. Not that I minded in retrospect, for everything turned out good.

I found myself a stint with a private dental group who very frankly mentioned that they had checked up my records with my lecturers and professors. Though I was no high flying student, I was clean and no thorn in anyone’s flesh. I faithfully worked where work was given and also managed to secure some dental contracts for the group.

Donna Summer’s song “ She works hard for the money” was always playing in my mind. Work was then a euphemism for paid slavery as my time and work schedules were dictated by the clinic. Today, as my boss, work is a joy and a necessity for meaningful living.

After two years with the group practice, I had wanted to achieve a long term goal of freedom. I decided to work hard for myself. I decided that if I would rather struggle more and die by my sword. I started my dental practice in October 1987, also known as the Crash of the Dow Jones. The recession had already reared its ugly head.

Landlords were begging for tenants. Empty shops and offices abounded. Rentals went as low as S$1 per square foot. I snared what I thought was a wonderful deal at $1.90 per square foot in an office building in the heart of the city, for three good years and then embarked on my ‘publicity’ campaign.

One big mistake was that my clinic was located on the sixth floor of the building(had since been demolished in Singapore) and there was no visibility. I could perish in there without anyone’s knowledge!

The introvert in me suddenly needed to become extroverted. I met people, attended functions, joined classes, and became sociable. I made myself known by introducing myself professionally to my neighbors in my building. They were receptive fortunately and supported me. After that, I had my sights set on other buildings where there were innumerable companies. The world was my oyster.

Socially, no one was spared my name cards even people I met at funerals, save one. Surprisingly, people were quite supportive and luck was on my side too. I was never in the red from the first month.

It was at such trying times when you realized how kind people were by giving young entrepreneurs chances. I treated my patients with great care and asked them to refer more patients and they did. Word of mouth was still the best recommendation for business.

Life was hectic as I balanced my work by raising two active kids and improving my knowledge and skills along the way. Time flew by but I had not wasted any time complaining.

One of the best decisions in my life was learning public speaking in Toastmasters Club. The ability to communicate better allowed me to build better relationships with patients and friends. It all stemmed from an incident when a director of one company wanted to introduce myself and the doctor next door at a board meeting so that we could secure some company contracts.

Fearful of having to speak up in front of these big-wigs, we excused ourselves before the boardroom meeting to go to the loos. I still remembered washing my hands for quite a while. When we emerged at the same time, apparently he must be taking his time in the loo too. The director was dismayed and said that the meeting had ended and he had just wanted us to show up for him to formally introduce us. What a blunder and missed opportunity!

That was when I made the Public Speaking course an important interest to pursue and to build my self-confidence. Over the years, I learned to articulate clearly whether with patients or strangers. I stopped stuttering by reading aloud every day. My communication has become crystal-clear and that has helped business as any doubts by the patients are clarified.

More than thirty years later, I would say that what had kept me afloat was my persistence to keep up with the changes in Dentistry as it evolved and I continued to exploit the advances of its Sciences and Technology for patients’ benefits and mine.

In hindsight, I was very fortunate to be a young adult trying to make it in Singapore. Singapore has always been progressing with the times and our access to education and resources were also forthcoming.

As a young adult, I had the sense to balance work and play and did not incline towards work only. My work enabled me to pursue other interests — in Sports like Scuba-diving, Skiing, traveling, joining dental mission trips, volunteer work, writing on Medium, and participating in public speaking clubs like Toastmasters clubs.

My philosophy of work is that earning money is good but spending it well is better. So much importance is attached to work that one may forget the true value of work: that is to free oneself to do what one loves. Even if it is just to look at the birds at the end of a hard day.

In a bustling city like Singapore that is ever more pressure-cooked today than thirty years ago, work has become paramount and essential. For the young entrepreneurs of today, I would suggest that they work hard and smart, keep abreast of changes which are everpresent, know your weaknesses, and work on them. However, remember to seek some time for yourself to refresh and rejuvenate whether in sports or other hobbies.

Seek the source of contentment amidst work and then return to the toil from which contentment springs. Life in the 80s as a young adult was a memorable one and I am grateful for this journey thus far.

If you like this article, you may like to read ‘ Childhood Days In Old Singapore’

And keep your job in these difficult times

Summer Lotus Sep 12 · 4 min read

In these pandemic times when retrenchment is rife, it behooves the employees to perform well at work and prove himself or herself to be invaluable.

Sadly, people who were axed might be those with a wealth of experiences but they were also drawing high pay. Releasing them was likely to be a cost-cutting strategy.

Over the years, I have watched bad times come and go. Those who have survived retrenchment had good reasons. It is never too late to be aware of the pitfalls of being an employee. Employers are just trying to stay afloat too.

If you still have work, feel blessed but don’t stay contented. Life was never meant to be easy-going. So, make yourself a valued staff in your company and you are unlikely to be released anytime soon.

The following ways may be helpful;

1 Do well in your field of work

a) Be detailed – As they say, “God is in the details”. If a project or task is well done, it is because some people have painstakingly done their homework and put in their best effort. Nothing impresses and amazes others more than an exceedingly excellent piece of work noticed by your boss and colleagues.

It is the highest form of regard and respect for the company and self that you would push yourself to become a star performer.

It keeps morale high and inspires others to draw out their talents too.

b) Be humble and seek counsel from your experienced colleagues who are willing to mentor you. Some seniors may be somewhat brash but a thick hide in this instance is in your favor.

The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more — Jonas Salk

2 Be proactive

This increases your value to the company and allows you to advance.

A Chinese saying goes, “He who labors his mind governs others”.

The brain triumphs over brawn.

Think more critically to be efficient and effective. Undertake a piece of a job with the aim of not just accomplishing it but achieving an extra goal as well.

This involves reading more about the tasks at hand, researching tested ways, and adding new ideas to the standard method of doing things.

What does a proactive person do?

a) Prepare and plan ahead and early. Write down exactly what your goals are and the steps to let you get closer to the goals.

It could be obtaining the numbers of the relevant people ready so that you can network effectively.

It may be prioritizing to make sure important tasks are finished first.

A checklist is often used to list items to do for the day and will prove useful.

b) Set a realistic deadline.

He is mindful of Parkinson’s Law, which indicates that activities will consume as much time as you have available for them.

By setting a time frame, you eradicate procrastination and tardiness.

He feels more satisfied as he pushes himself along. The inertia is often the hardest part but once momentum is set, it becomes much easier.

He would also plan Long-range. That is called vision.

c) Stay positive and expects good results. If things did not turn out, he would review and analyze the reasons and make sure that mistakes are not repeated.

The best way to create your future is to create it — Steven Covey

3 Be irreplaceable

There is a unique trait adopted by the smart worker. In the following ways:

a) Study others’ mistakes. By doing that, your own experiences can be increased multiple folds and make you the wise one among your colleagues. More people will come to you for advice which means you always need to be at the forefront of events and information.

b) Develop interests outside your field of work.

They may seem unlinked but new perspectives surface and may give you a different approach to problem-solving. People like to hang around those who have more ideas and provide solutions to their problems. Do not be an also-ran.

In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different — Coco Chanel

4 Have a sense of responsibility

When mistakes are made, admit, and improve on them. Take responsibility for all personal hiccups and that would win your superior over due to your honesty.

Volunteer to take on tasks that people shun because of difficulty or poor knowledge but make sure you give your best shot. Or at least learn from it and offer your help again the next time. Sincerity will shine through.

Responsible people are highly valued and dependable. They are the ones whom customers would turn to for information and seal that final transaction.

The price of greatness is responsibility — -Winston Churchill

Life goes on. Crises come and go. It is during this difficult period that you need to show your mettle to stay afloat and survive.

Soldier on. Do your best in all the ways listed will ensure a bright future.