Summer Lotus 28th Nov 2021 5 min read
Every day, there will be issues. Such is life. It is either your own or others and some matters vex the soul. However, on reflection, most situations get resolved, so why the anguish in the first place.
It is our spontaneous reaction to the situation at hand that clouds our thinking and causes us to have a knee-jerk response. Most times, they are not serious issues that only require calm to come up with strategies to overcome. Sometimes, it is a matter of perspective.
Human beings have pride. They rarely like to acknowledge failure, defeat, or fear. When confronted with a difficulty, maybe we should ask the following questions;
1 Is it the end of the world?
2 Will anybody get hurt?
3 Is it urgent?
4 What is the most sensible way to handle it?
5 Who can I discuss with to come up with some ideas?
Staying calm is paramount. Sometimes people may incite us by the way they narrate the situation.
Above all, seek the truth first, don’t panic. As an example, it is not infrequent to hear of some people duped into parting with their money because someone, usually a stranger causes them anxiety by spinning some stories about a family member and demanding money to help resolve the situation.
In the process, the victims often parted with their money senselessly. Should anyone tells you a panic story, verify first. Scams are a dime a dozen these days.
When a dispute arises, investigate more. It is not prudent to go into a defensive or attack mode. Talk cordially to all parties to iron out any differences. It may just be a misunderstanding that went out of proportion.
Or you may have heard of some untruths mounted against you by others, upsetting you greatly.
A perspective is in order. You must be a significant person enough for others to talk about you. If it is not true, the truth will prevail.
Ranting and raving is a waste of time and in bad taste. Ignoring the matter and living life with dignity will overcome all falsehoods. Let the matter pass.
Dealing with others’ personalities often triggers relationship problems unless you choose to accept the opposite party for who they are and focus on the issues at hand. Odd personalities like stubbornness, pride, quick anger, etc.
Recently, a friend who had his mobile line cut experienced it again because he did not settle the balance on time. It was not the first time. We had resolved it before — -He did not learn his lesson to pay the balance on time to avoid crossing the deadline and do that easily online or through the phone app. However, he did it the old way by going to the shop to pay.
He was a stubborn fellow or forgetful. He insisted that he had paid the balance except that it went to another bill but to him, he had settled his balance. I could not make him see that the mobile auto cut-off is generated online and it does not distinguish between which bill he had settled.
He ranted on and on about how he had to go down to the shop in a traffic jam only to find that the shop had closed. I reminded him that during the last incident, we had gone down together to the shop and discovered that it was a place to settle bills and most payments have moved online. Moreover, we had finally resolved by paying through my mobile using the Telco app. He had forgotten and I had learned a new mode of payment.
In the meantime, he could only use his phone for business at home using his wireless code. Once he is outside, he has no more data plan and is unable to make or accept calls except through WhatsApp which he would need wifi from a shop or mall.
I tried not to be irked by his continuous ranting and raving about the changes that are taking place in the world. I calmly told him that most things are moving online including payments to expedite matters and it is convenient for customers. To cut matters short, I decided to take an emphatic perspective.
Many people have dropped into the abyss in this digital revolution. Some are not able to unlearn and relearn new things. Gone were the days when we could just pay with a cheque. I had difficulty getting a checkbook from a bank and had to resort to new online modes of payment.
To save my peace of mind, I decided to make his payment using my mobile and attached sequential screenshots of how it could be done in a jiffy to show him on WhatsApp. If only he would discipline himself to pay on time and to the right account It would not resolve by nagging him about the past similar incident and destroying our relationship.
A common cause for loss of serenity of the mind is when you have a quick-tempered friend. People get angry for reasons we do not know. Be patient and listen. It is good for oneself to show empathy again. You do not have to agree but listening out is therapeutic for an angry person. When the person has simmered down, rationale prevails. Sometimes we can provide him or her creative solutions which make us think outside our mental boxes.
In conclusion, there are thousands of issues that can potentially annoy us daily. It need not be so. Successful living is living with peace of mind.
We can choose not to destroy the serenity in us by a positive and calm approach to life. Keep in tempo with the inevitable changes. A willingness to listen, unlearn and relearn. A dogged determination.
If we could do that, we may solve many daily small issues and help others too. In addition, we may even inspire the opposite party to adopt a more sensible approach and preserve his tranquility as well.