Oct 8th 2022 3 min read
In my younger school days, I was bankrupt of ideas during essay writing.
Life was simple, routine, and stress-free. I also did not cultivate a love for reading, spending most of my time after school playing.
When I was accepted into a so-called elite school by the skin of my teeth, I was elated.
Little did I know that my self-esteem would then take an unstoppable fall after that.
Many of the students were from well-heeled families who came in chauffeured cars and were prepped for life not to mention school.
Some have private tutors to coach them in English and Mandarin and they could even write poetry. Some were maths geniuses and some had incredible memory power.
Some were just plain intelligent.
I was a mediocre student, from a simple and poor background, and had coveted a brand-name school known for its brainy students and future leaders.
Naturally, I paled greatly in comparison to them in my studies.
The low self-esteem resulting from the inability to write prose was further compounded when my teacher flung my book out the window one day.
I remembered walking down four floors of the school building dejectedly to retrieve my writing book. It was followed by many occasions of my name being announced whenever I failed an assignment.
It resulted in my belief that I was neither academic nor smart and it marred my attempts to achieve in many other aspects of my life – due to the feeling of not being good enough.
It also made me realize that the world only had eyes for the rich, the smart and the brave and I was none of that.
Nevertheless, I was able to complete my University studies. What really made me progress in my life was learning communication skills which is a confidence booster.
Almost every form of success hinges on the fact that one could express succinctly and sensibly. More progress followed when I joined the medium and started writing and reading others’ works.
I felt my life, thoughts, and decision-making improved by leaps and bounds. Most of the articles on the medium are positive, based on thoughts, research, and experiences shared by other authors.
As I have benefited greatly from others, I would also like to pay it forward in my writings and speech-making at Toastmasters Club meetings.
My motto as regards interaction with people in my daily life is this;
“Do not put anyone down. If you can, show him or her the ropes gently. Otherwise, just shut up and walk away. It is less damaging to the self-worth.”
There is also the counterargument that by being harsh, you may spur the ignorant or lazy to greater heights.
In some cases, it may help, in hindsight but sometimes you may unintentionally kill off a person’s passion or potential for a long time, especially in a young one.
This is my experience and it takes a lot of undoing.
Currently, I can relate to people who may not have enough confidence in doing certain tasks. Especially when they just entered the working world.
It is not because they are not able, they need a patient mentor who is calm, compassionate, and communicates clearly. People thrive on positivity, possibility, and encouragement.
No belittling, insults, or insinuations. We all have tasted that before.
Unless a person shows no interest to learn, it is always good to understand that he or she is fearful of failure and needs kind words.
People forget that they were naive and foolish and made many mistakes when they were younger too.
When one is inclined to criticize and chide others for their mistakes, remember that we have been down that road before.
For some, they have met gracious people who prodded them on. Others may be angered and spurred on to do better. For others, they could be disillusioned by the treatment and become bitter and critical themselves.
In any case, be kind in words and deeds. I would say that kindness has paid back in many ways, much more than I could imagine.
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