A recollection of my learning experiences.
Toastmasters’ Club is the place to be and participate if you are serious to become good in public speaking and communication skills. Here is where one develops effective speaking, listening, and critical thinking skills.
It’s been over 35 years since I became a member of Toastmasters International that currently has more than 16,000 clubs in over 145 countries. I believed it is a necessary activity for people of all backgrounds to join if you want to develop self-confidence and personal growth.
Due to the comprehensive way in which the program is structured and run with complete guidance from Toastmasters’ member website and members, one can only improve in ways unimaginable provided you participate.
Mentoring is one part of Toastmaster’s activity and its significance cannot be underestimated.
A mentor in the Toastmasters club’s context is an experienced member who can provide teaching or counseling to a newer member to achieve the goals of effective communication skills.
Many long time members know how Toastmasters activities have benefitted them personally and professionally.
This comes about if members are proactive to participate in the structured program that has specific goals for each speech project. It may seem like an arduous and long journey especially in the current program called Toastmasters Pathways but the benefits are immense. In the process, you will discover vast improvements in your presentation as well as in your fellow members’.
Traditionally, in the Toastmasters meeting, the Vice President of Education who is in charge of the program will ensure that every new member has a mentor who is a senior or experienced member to volunteer to help develop him or her communication skills.
An experienced Toastmaster already knows the manual well and has made innumerable presentations where he had made mistakes and received advice or feedback from his mentor. His mentor would provide him valuable feedback from delivery to content to the language used. This privilege is not easily available in the working world where you have to stumble your way through.
Hence, a mentee would do well to heed the suggestions and bring the desired changes to each project for greater growth. Each member can be a mentor as well as a mentee and even request a specific member.
Why is it important to have a mentor
1 Having the right mentor is a short cut to success. Your mentor is already equipped with the knowledge, know-how, and experience to share with you. He is close to the forest and he knows the trees well. He has made mistakes whether it is the organization of the speech or the effectiveness of the message of the delivery style. You need not reinvent the wheel. You take the details and work on your presentation.
You may your speech to the mentor before the presentation and he could help you spruce up your content for better results.
2 Your mentor is already successful if he has completed and evaluated many projects. Speech-making is honed over the years and listening to mentors’ speeches gives valuable clues to use in your scriptwriting and delivery.
Having been in the club for many years, he can provide a professional network to like-minded people and introduce you to other members for the exchange of ideas.
3 Your mentor can see your strengths and weaknesses in you which you may not notice. He would encourage you to develop your strengths further and diminish your weaknesses if you specifically request this.
4 A good mentor will always motivate and inspire you.
Personal experience:
I used to be a Queen of time fillers, as many as 38 when I first started. My mentor told me to pause and not speak if I tended to utter “um” or “ah” and I think I have overcome this habit after much practice.
I was also terrified of table topics sessions even though they were only 2 minutes as one has to speak off the cuff immediately after being asked the question. I could not bear my silence or the fact that I had no opinions.
From watching my mentors, I learned that there are techniques to deal with this issue.
You could use the following methods;
1 chronicle method; based on past, present, and future.
2 take a position, give your reasons and evidence if there are any, and reinforce your message
3 Tell a simple story by answering what, why, when, where, how, and who and then make a conclusion.
4 Free yourself from the conventional method. When stuck, you could just get a keyword and launch into any story that you can think of and be surprised to find your way to a good conclusion.
The best advice from my mentor; Be calm and collected. Gather your thoughts and speak slowly and act confident. Thoughts will flow naturally. Believe in yourself. You may not do so well this time, but repeated tries will make you a better speaker.
My experience as a protege/mentee
Today, I do not fear table topics as much. Instead, I think of a positive ending to each topic and my mind naturally gravitates towards a story with an affirmative ending. Even if it is about the Covid-19 crisis.
My mentor also noticed that my weakness was the script which I held on to for dear life. It was my mental crutch. He persuaded me to leave it behind and even volunteered me for table topics to make me accustomed to speaking.
I managed to let go of my script when I became the President of my club as I had to give an opening address during every meeting. I was prepared to ad-lib along the way should I lose my train of thought. I finally succeeded in no script delivery for the whole term as the President.
How do you become an effective mentee?
As they say, it takes two to tango. A mentee needs to fulfill his role well.
As a mentee, it is important to show your earnestness to learn, question, and take notes. Humility is an important trait as you will be more receptive and open to suggestions. In that case, your mentor will be interested and happy to dispense the advice to you.
As a mentee, it is important to be persistent and apply what is learned, then sleep and breathe it. I would apply my mentor’s technique to my case and see it come to fruition in my speech presentation. It is not achieved in a quick way but the more one practices it, one will see the light until it becomes second nature.
For example, having good eye contact was my issue. My mentor told me to look at the audience and search for a friendly face, occasionally looking generally at another part of the audience so as to involve all the listeners. Also, knowing that the audience always wants a speaker to succeed help or they would not be there.
As a mentee, it would be impressive to go beyond what is taught and work hard, finding new information to discuss with your mentor so that you could contribute instead. If you could jump one step ahead of your mentor from what you have learned elsewhere, that would cement his trust in you that you are a sincere mentee.
For example, if you are strong in using the latest powerpoint features, sharing them with your mentor would definitely make it a win-win situation.
If there is anything worth doing outside of work, it is to become a Toastmaster member and learning how to communicate seriously. Abundant success emanates from this skill. Be a Toastmaster today, and a leader tomorrow!
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