Just Ask

It Is The Most Underrated Thing We Do But You will Get What You Want.

Summer LotusJun 21 · 5 min read

I was a very reticent person. That did not stand me in good stead for the most part of my life.

When your world is closed up, the outside world is also closed up to you. I watched how some of my peers could get very far in life – most of them were sociable, gregarious, and outgoing.

Many reached high stations in their careers and satisfaction in what they wanted to do.

They get noticed because they can communicate. They asked questions and favors. They were not shy.

“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask remains a fool forever.” — Chinese proverb

It was due to the lack of this trait that made me searched for a public speaking course many years ago. I went through several courses but finally found a structured one in SIM2 Toastmasters Club where I have honed my skills for many years.

With an increase in self-confidence and improvement in expressing myself succinctly, it has made a dramatic change in my life. My career became more established and my interests and hobbies increased because I started asking questions and found out that Life has a lot to offer.

As a dentist, I learned to ask poignant and pertinent questions to understand my patients’ complaints, and l would listen to them more intently. Then I would offer my solutions. All customers liked to be heard and if you do not ask, they may not tell much so their needs would not be met.

Outside of dentistry, I had applied my art of asking in my learning whether it was a foreign language or a workshop. Before this, much of my learning was status quo because I did not ask enough.

But nowadays, I have decided to question more fervently. My modus operandi to attain more knowledge and skill in life is to ask questions. So much so that, at a recent workshop, a lecturer expressed in dismay that I was a cumbersome character but he still had to furnish the answers.

I was also speaking on behalf of my fellow classmates who were too fearful to ask any questions. Anyway, my queries were valid ones and I knew they would secretly thank me for them.

That led me to do better in my course and workshop. The typical important words of ‘what, why, when, where, how, and who. This is very much what we would apply in writing an article and making it an interesting story. I now used it in my daily life. Asking to find out more and asking to understand more.

Ralph Waldo Emerson’s frequently quoted observation is that we often meet people who are often better than us at something and we must be eager to learn from them.

Socrates believed in asking questions. “ An unexamined life is not worth living”. Ask and discover for yourself the solutions and the truth to solve problems. Things do not just appear as they are, there must be a reason. If something is amiss, ask, and find out if they should be the way they are.

Back to my course on website building, I found out why are some websites more beautiful and engaging. Because they used the right tools. Because they have a good theme. Because they have good content.

Why is that important? Because if you run a business that depends on your website presence, users would linger longer on your website if it is interesting and they are likely to become your potential customers. How then to build a beautiful website? What are the important tools? How to use them? That is when you learn to use your creativity to fabricate one.

I would draw answers out of my Instructors the way one draws blood from a vein. Like a six-year-old.

Thanks to their good chat group support, I was able to quench my thirst for answers without interrupting in class. Every question that I asked, I noted the answers so as not to repeat them.

After that, I went to set up my own website, an e-commerce store, and a blog. It may not be the most beautiful one but it was a good start.

Then I had learned to ask some more questions. I have become pally with my accountant and through our meet-up, I found out that ACRA (Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority. ) may require companies to have websites to authenticate their existence. Many companies do not have websites.

Therein lies a gold mine of opportunities.

I shared with my accountant my work and she mentioned that she needed a company website too. I asked her to give me the opportunity to create one for her and she said yes.

In return, I gave her a deal she found hard to turn down.

In fact, many of her clients do not have websites so the road to more website creation has been paved.

These days, I am turning into a requester. There is no embarrassment in being that.

Knock and it shall open, ask and you shall receive.

You rarely not get what you want unless the request is absurd.

You rarely not get what you want if you could benefit the opposite party in return for the favor- it should be both ways.

You rarely not get what you want if you have applied all my persuasive skills learned at Toastmasters.

I rarely not get what I want because I believe that people are generally helpful and as long as we are sincere.

That is what I did, asking Wann Shing for a comprehensive guide to navigating Pathways, or I will never get started on projects.

The precondition is that one must first put in your effort when you are learning a skill or trade so that by asking questions and getting your answers, you can then progress and become good in what you do.

Don’t be shy about asking questions or for help. Just ask. It does not mean you are weak. It means you are wise and brave. If it is no, so be it. Try harder and someday, it would be yes. If it is yes, you are onto a brand new world.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” — — — Albert Einstein