16/6/24. 3 min read
Author at the Maldives (90s)
It is a calm mind that can accept any situation, analyses, and executes an appropriate action that brings solution, peace, and positivity to the involved person or parties.
To have a calm mind, one needs patience which is a very important trait and a great virtue. Trying to be patient in the first place already makes one testy so it is a personal achievement.
In this respect, you may notice that many people do not pass the 3 seconds test. Just hold your vehicle for 3 seconds when the traffic light turns green and you will be tooted off to move. That is the level of most drivers’ patience.
The ability to keep your breathing steady, knowing that all unpleasant things do not last and focusing on solutions instead of problems will put one in good stead.
After all, getting annoyed, agitated, and even angry. affects one’s physiology and biology impacting one’s health, self-esteem, productivity, and relationships with others.
Things may become worse before they get better. Meanwhile, it’s the rough ride that you go through, your emotions being ruffled and your brain being wreaked havoc.
It is an easy thing to say but difficult to do as it’s the body’s reflexes that reacts to unfavourable situations.
My strategy involved using
1 Acceptance – Do what I can and accept what I cannot.
I can help by looking for the good in the situation. Many times, unpleasant situations bring valuable lessons though painful.
2 Focus – Being solution oriented instead of thinking of the worst that may happen. If the worst happens, we still need to live on with courage and hope.
3 Smile – The power of a smile is under rated. While it is not appropriate to smile when there is a severe injury, a smile can put others at ease and elicit some ideas or answers that may be valuable.
Negative emotions impact everyone’s thought processes.
4 Clear your mind – When all else seems to fail, take a long walk, a restful sleep or an exercise to boost your feel good hormones.
This has a scientific basis.
We are also as happy as we make up our minds to be happy.
Better make being happy a habit.
5 Communicate gently – When one is riled up, it is easy to speak unkindly but that would only stoke the fire, in others as well. Speak gently, rationally and calmly and a solution or at least a compromise may be reached.
A case in point: We were two friends with differing opinions as to how to reach a destination when we travelled together.
As I believe then, that reaching our desired place would be easier taking public access, my friend wanted to drive there.
We ended up on a narrow, winding dirt road which I suggested that we reversed quickly to avoid being stuck in a rut.
After much difficulty, she managed to reverse out and was quite upset to the point that she wanted to return to the hotel and abort the travel plan.
After letting her released her frustrations, I calmly and gently suggested that we return the car to the hotel car park and that we could my method which was tested. By then, she had cooled down and we then had a successful trip to our remote venue.
On another day, we were heading to a destination which I was not comfortable for her to drive there as I do not encourage driving long distance overseas.
I decided to exercise patience and calmness and chose to focus on being a good navigator instead of fearing about the worst.
Eventually, we had a fantastic journey along a road less travelled.
In all situations, stay calm and carry on doing what is best.
Acquire and develop this skill and your relationships will flourish.
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