Some points I have gleaned from observing others.
Summer Lotus Aug 30 · 6 min read
Growing old is naturally frightening to most people with all its negative connotations. However, one does not need to age the expected way; grow old, slow down, retreat, and then fade away.
Life is never easy. Most of us get bashed around by incidents and events as we move along in life.
The truly victorious still emerged vibrant and inspiring. Not that their lives are any easier but that they can bend with the stormy winds of life like the proverbial bamboo tree. They also have a positive mindset that helps them to cope with whatever life throws at them. The world is full of successful older people who dictate their own lives.
I watched with keen observation and interest why some people continue to enthrall others even as they grow older. The following are what I would be mindful of to be an interesting and happy elder.
1 Be pragmatic.
Don’t take life too seriously. We are all from different backgrounds and our views are bound to clash. Instead of insisting that your way is the only way, listen to others and go ahead and do what you think is correct. The results speak for themselves.
Stop digging graves together fighting an issue. Go on your way and find like-minded people. Older people have less time so to speak, to fritter away precious time on inconsequential issues are the most frivolous things to do.
If you are open-minded, you may find others quite amusing and they may just convince you of their good ideas which you could adopt. Don’t be a hard-nose prick.
As we grow older, we need social interaction. Giving more than you take always brings you more friends and fun.
2 “Cut the Long breath” This is a Chinese saying to mean “Stop being Long-winded”
A chat with a younger friend revealed she was trapped in a one-way monologue as her senior regaled her about his story from cradle to near grave.
Out of respect, she listened, longing to escape, and finally, it ended after three hours. You can be sure the next time he speaks, others would flee with the slightest excuse.
This happens because the Chinese have a saying, “I have eaten more salt than you eat rice “. As a result, an older person often feels that he has a wealth of experiences to share and ‘gold nuggets’ to dispense. But pray, be mindful. Is the opposite party interested?
The older we get, the more stories we will have under our belt. It is a cumulative life. Don’t become a prospect of fear for others when you grow older.
Learn to tell a short relevant story with a good message and you will be greatly appreciated by your friends and acquaintances. Perhaps, Toastmasters club provides a good training ground as all projects have allotted time or you get buzzed off!
3 Have a sense of humor
As we grow older, one has seen enough life and knows what is good, bad, or evil. We may laugh at the young’s folly but if you reflect on how you were at that age, you probably have done something ridiculous too.
Hence, I feel that it is always better to be forgiving if we come across younger people who have done or said something wrong or outrageous. They will be enlightened if they are willing. If not, one day they will realize it or live to regret it.
As they say, “Youth is wasted on the Young” but some older people continue to waste whatever vestiges of life left too. By having no empathy, sympathy, or humor. They make life tough for others and would be shunned at all costs.
Hence, laugh it off and comfort him or her who was foolish and share your folly. You would make a very dear friend.
“You can lose your teeth and your hair but don’t lose your sense of humor”
4 Engage the young
The world will always belong to the young. We have had our time so if you want to be integrated into the new world and enjoy fully, get to know the young. They hold the key to new concepts and life hacks faster and smarter than you.
I particularly appreciate young people with their own set of values and thinking. As long as they do no harm.
They bring with them ornate ideas and unique skills of the times acquired by their current knowledge, interest, and changes that are ever-present.
The young people are a breath of fresh air to me. I try to engage them by showing interest in what they are keen on, not to display what I am proud of which they may feel are my archaic ideas. Unless they are interested to know more about me. Otherwise, it is all about them.
In this way, I have the good fortune to make many young friends who have indulged in my requests to fix problems or share knowledge not known to my era.
I would gladly shut up, listen, and learn.
4 Continuous learning
So many times, I hear older people say that the world has changed and is changing too fast for them. Then they just retreat and do what they are familiar with. Well, the gap or disconnect will just get bigger, and very soon, you will be asking everyone about managing minor tasks as simple as seeing a doctor in the Covid-19 era.
Recently, a relative of mine panicked because she had to bring her dementia spouse for some medical check-up but was worried about any possible incident as he was not predictable in public. The hospital had suggested using Zoom to engage him and prescribe any necessary medicine. She did not know how to and I am glad to be able to step in and offer some help for the appointment day.
I believe strongly in continuous learning. There is so much to learn. For example, Payment modes by Paynow, Paylah is now getting popular and is very fast and convenient. One can get things done without leaving the house and that requires us to learn the technology apps. It is not as difficult as it seems but you need to get started on learning.
Read about people who are successful and emulate their points. Pick up a skill and computer skills are most relevant in today’s world that allows you to stay connected, relevant, and express your creativity. Younger people like to hang around older folks who are that sassy.
5 Change of attitude
One common scenario as a person grows older is that he or she is likely to consume less. I know of some seniors who stopped shopping except for food. They stopped shopping for clothes as they have heaps of them, they said. They stopped reading as they fear their eye-sights would deteriorate faster and stopped traveling as they did not like the hassle.
Yet, some seniors would keep up with the times, seeing the world as an ever-evolving place with new knowledge and technology that better their lives. They shop for products that give them more comfort and make them look and feel better. This, in turn, builds self-esteem and self-confidence that encourages them to stay engaged with others.
Keep busy, get creative. Some people realize their geniuses only after retirement when they had more time. This is a more useful use of time than thinking about what was done in the past and what’s in store in the future. Make full use of today’s available knowledge to advance your new interests.
In conclusion, embark on these ways as we grow older only to make your life better, not bitter. Look at everything through rose-tinted glasses and the world will always remain beautiful. After all, what is a better choice? Think of the legacy you would live behind — inspiring others through what you do and making this world a much happier place.
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” — -George Bernard Shaw