Archives for February 2021

It is all about changing your mindset

Summer Lotus Feb 4 3 min read

The old adage turning a lemon into lemonade is so true. When a situation seems unpleasant or stressful, use your perspective to deal with it.

Currently, I have engaged a domestic helper to assist my aging brother and he wanted all of this responsibility to be mine. I accepted but felt the burden nevertheless as I had to shoulder many other financial responsibilities including helping another aging brother.

It was with a different perspective that appeased me. I met up with the helper from Indonesia who was transferred by the maid agency from another employer. Lastri (not her real name) desperately wanted another home to work in. Through her, I found out that her working condition was not good as she was subjected to constant nagging and scolding. Moreover, she has three young children to support back in her village.

I decided to change my perspective of this situation I am in. I felt that I have done a good thing by giving her employment where she only needs to assist my brother who lives alone and would be a peaceful environment for her to work in. My brother who was resistant to foreign help would certainly benefit from her assistance. In addition, I thought I could learn some Indonesian language from her which is a new skill.

We made a pact. I encouraged her to polish her English language which is still in smithereens besides having worked three years in Singapore. I would have to start from almost ground zero as I knew about only ten words of her native language. I told her that she should set her aim to improve English for better job opportunities in the future. I would become more conversant in Indonesian which is very handy as Singapore is a country surrounded by many Muslim countries. Though English is universal, knowing their native language endears one to others.

I embarked on this newfound interest straightaway. Though our conversations are still a mix of broken English and Indonesian, my messages to her are written in both languages helped by Google translate. I corrected her English when needed.

In a span of two weeks, I have already acquired about 120 vocabulary words including standard phrases. I hope she would be diligent too. Though I have to part with more than $1000 a month to maintain her job, I felt that I have turned a lemon into lemonade by considering the benefits.

I have not only given someone who needs financial help a job, but I have also given her hope for the future to upskill herself. Not to mention to help an aging relative. I have also used the situation to improve myself, in the process feeling more fulfilled and happy.

By changing one’s perspective and looking for the good in any situation, you will find the silver lining. Mindset change is a good strategy to use in life’s unavoidable ups and downs.

Apply these tips to increase your chance of winning at your Speech Contest.

Summer Lotus Feb 2 5 min read

Today, I have the good fortune to be invited to listen to a World Champion Speaker on the webinar, a 1 1/2 hour workshop, titled “Master Your Speech” organized by Toastmasters District 80.

Lance Miller is living the dream life. He holds eminent positions in the Corporate world, building and managing sales and marketing programs in the industries of law, construction, international finance, alternative health, and the internet and he has guided his audiences through business communication, world-class communication service, successful team building and more….

Lance is a very adventurous sportsman. From his enviable experiences, he has gleaned life lessons to share with his audience and spoke at hundreds of civic forums centered around fundamental human rights.

He holds the highest distinction of Distinguished Toastmaster with Toastmasters International and has delivered thousands of speeches in many different countries. He also coaches innumerable people inside and outside Toastmasters in Communication Skills.

It was a speech full of gems for the speaker who wants to excel in public speaking. I jotted those recommendations furiously and have summarized to the best of my ability. I held on to his every word.

The salient points of a masterful speech that I have gleaned and interpreted are as follows;

1 Be Authentic — Embrace your message, your principles about life, and your beliefs. When you discover yourself and believe in what you want to say, you will come across as sincere. Don’t say what the audience wants to hear.

When you are authentic, there is certain life energy that reflects conviction, passion, sincerity, and humility. The audience will be arrested by the speaker’s content and delivery.

When you are authentic, you will be more comfortable with yourself and appear relaxed and natural and not rehearsed.

2 Search for your defining moments — -Base your story on your experiences that have made indelible impressions on you. What you want to tell your listeners is about how listening to your experiences, can translate into an improvement in their lives. How they could use the same message to overcome their unique seemingly insurmountable problems.

Lance made a very important point in that even in an informative speech, you should also have an inspiring element to make it very valuable.

3 Delivery points to note — –

a) Lance emphasized that speaking is not acting. Remember to speak to the audience and never lose them. He has observed some speakers acting out the conversation with an imaginary person, thereby in his words, “dropping the fourth wall and playing off the latter”. The speaker could still respond to the imaginary person while speaking and looking at the audience.

b) Have an attitude of sharing. Do not act like an authority telling or yelling what the audience must do as there may be a higher authority in the audience. In any case, such a manner will put off the audience as we do not know what specific problems they may have. In an indirect and unimposing manner, the audience could relate better to a subtle message and apply the speaker’s suggestions.

c) Don’t ask questions that the audience cannot answer. Some speakers, Lance has observed asked questions in the middle of a presentation then continued speaking. I feel that this is disruptive to their listening and unnecessary. He recommended asking the audience for a show of hands to a question and that at least would elicit some response than just asking a question then not waiting for any reply.

d) Speak from the heart to get closer to their hearts. Do not act bigger than yourself, acting grand and dynamic or your message may come across as forceful. The audience is the final judge of whether you are a true sensational speaker.

Our distinguished speaker went on to share his sequence for preparing an inspiring story that is required for International Competitions.

1. Setting up your story.

Act 1 — In your opening, be specific. You may create the mystery but never the confusion. This is by answering the where, when, what, who, and the conflict. This creates a very clear vista in the listeners’ minds and prepares them for the story that is to follow. It is a clear road map that engages them.

An important piece of advice from Lance — Do not put your message in the beginning. It should be a surprise.

Act 2 —You narrate your story and your struggles to resolve the conflict succinctly mentioning all the obstacles so as to make the content stick.

Act 3 — Describe how a hero resolves your conflict. The hero should always be something else but not yourself — it could be an object, a thought, or another person.

Lance related a poignant story of a person who had problems with his family and while driving along a bridge, he was inspired by the bridge anchored to the bedrock that could withstand the turbulence of the Ocean. Then he realized that his family was anchored in love that could withstand whatever turbulence they were currently facing. He called home to make peace and the bridge became the hero in that story.

2 Make that point which is the resolution of the story using 3 b) above.

3 Share how the audience may apply — -Call to action indirectly so that the audience can decide for themselves if they want to apply it.

Other gems from Lance Miller

1 Don’t just quote wholesale from a famous person. Describe how that quote affected you and you make a better connection.

2 If you are using a prop, make sure it can be removed when not needed otherwise it is a distraction.

3 Practise your speech as you give it because you will give it as you practiced it. This is a golden rule to me as I often practice in my head and it never turned out the way I wanted as I would need to speak out loud in the real situation.

Don’t stop even when making a mistake but go through it. This will be for the real situation. Practice your speech many times, knowing it, not memorizing it.

Lance Miller emphasized persistence and passion as Heimportant ingredients for success. He credited Toastmasters as a good and safe place to develop communication skills to be put into practice in the real world.

It was a very fruitful Sunday morning listening to Lance Miller. As our club’s International Contest draws near, many members including myself are drawing on these tips that Lance has shared with a big Thank You!

For people who are interested in giving speeches and presentations and crafting a master speech, the above tips are invaluable.

Develop these traits and you will get there.

Summer Lotus Jan 29   1 min read

Have Clarity

Have Drive

Have Faith

Have patience

Have a Never Say Die Attitude

Have help

Have your research done thoroughly.

It takes a very driven person to achieve what he or she wants. We see successful people around us who attained incredible results with their limited resources. We could certainly pick up some of their traits by studying some of them carefully.

Look up Medium’s top writers. Those who have a huge following have reasons to be successful. We should read about their experiences and insights and how they overcome their obstacles. Choose the magazines and books that featured the movers and shakers. Life is all about possibilities.

“The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you seem to be naturally motivated to continue.” — Brian Tracy

Just do it — — Nike