SUMMER LOTUS

Summer Lotus Jan 9th 2022 4 min read

Stay resolute to be adaptable to change.

Is it the pandemic or just a sign of the times? Everything is in flux.

It keeps you running on a treadmill. Life has always been that way, it is just that we were not aware. Think back to your younger days — -you had fears, you did not have certain skills, you did not foresee certain events — but now you have evolved. Because you have changed with the times. Thoughts and surroundings have changed and will continue to do so.

Nothing is permanent except change. Nothing stays status quo except the human mind if it refuses to grow along with changes that are unavoidable. If you remain resolute to stay adaptable and positive, you will roll with the punches of life and find it an exciting journey.

The human body is changing every minute. Cells die, new cells are created, maybe at a slower pace. In my clinic, some patients asked me why did teeth relapse after braces? The teeth and gums and the bone condition are different as we age. As a dentist, we see oral conditions change relative to a patient’s health, habits, and personal care.

Why did teeth move even after braces? That is because inflammation may occur in the mouth resulting in bone loss and reduced tooth stability is just one of the common reasons. How does one deal with this change? The retainer is made to keep the straightened teeth in position. Eventually wearing them half-time could help.

Look at the innumerable products on the shelves today. They have more designs, functions, tastes, etc. Humans are evolving all the time as we are a progressive species. We enjoy a better living standard because there are people who make changes to benefit others.

“Progress is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” — -George Bernard Shaw

The pandemic is a good case in point. As the virus presents itself in new forms, humans work on various vaccines and ways to defeat it. The pandemic wreaks havoc and countries have imposed restrictions and innovative ways to contain the spread of the virus that has been changing with the infection status.

Work and learning continue as we move online. We digitalize and robotize to carry on improving our standard of living.

Change is omnipresent. There is no point in whining about it and how we have to continuously find ways to cope with it. We should cope with it!

Times change. What works yesterday may not work tomorrow. Look at the number of modes of payment today. With more payments done through apps, who would have thought that you do not need to bring your wallet out anymore? You can pay for your purchases, food, and bills using the magnificent device called the smartphone. I see it as an absolute convenience.

Daddy and mummy do not know best anymore. If you have any queries, Google can be your adviser.

However, some things do not change, like habits such as being lazy, indifferent, and tardy. If you do like to see change and adapt to it, you will be left by the wayside. Everyone is swept along this mainstream of transformation and is struggling to deal with it and would not have time to help you out. You either conform, adapt or fizzle out and be confounded by change. No one will sympathize with you because everybody else is busy trying to cope.

Realize this fact and change yourself;

1 Accept that Change is eternal. People get smarter because they innovate and adapt. The world is getting more sophisticated whether you like it or not. One might as well dive into change and enjoy the ride.

2 Be curious. Start asking questions and seek out helpful friends who are patient enough to enlighten and empower you with the knowledge to cope with changing norms of daily living. You should seek out a wider social circle. An additional friend could be an avenue to new knowledge if you choose your friends carefully.

3 Be determined. Continuous learning is key. The world is your oyster especially if you are connected to the internet. You could pick up any skills that interest you and develop them. Almost every solution can be found on the internet though you would have to sieve the wheat from the chaff so to speak where real and fake information is concerned.

Finally, be certain that changing yourself will bring pain as you set out to learn new things. Being out of the comfort zone is naturally disturbing. The learning curve seems steep but every step taken will make you wiser and happier.

Stay resolute to be adaptable to change and embrace it.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new” — -Socrates

Start off the year with this skill….

Summer Lotus 1st Jan 2022 4 min read

We are complex human beings, affected by the emotions of peace, joy, anger, jealousy, anxiety, greed, gluttony, fear, sadness, lust, shock, pride, sloth, grief, etc.

It is these emotions that motivate us into action or slow us in our tracks.

It is these feelings alone that persuades us to do something much more than rational thinking.

It is these feelings that can help you succeed or fail you in your attempts.

It was exactly negative feelings that impeded my progress from a young age. Innately introverted and introspective, I would always stay on the sidelines, observing, wishing, hoping, dreaming….

To become a better student, a successful career lady, a good mother, an efficient wife. It was all about the actions that I needed to take but my overriding emotion was anxiety and fear. In particular, the fear of public speaking. They impeded the growth of my personality.

The fear of speaking up was the bane of my life. I had no clue as to how to make myself heard which was a big stumbling block to personal progress.

Mediocrity was the order of the day. The non-eventful student days went on monotonously for years as I watched how some of my friends were so brave and eloquent and attained their goals.

Naturally, people who made their requests heard, had something to show, got what they want. It was no surprise that I emerged as an also-ran, still wading through the waters of young adult life, muddled and aimless. But, there was always an inner voice sounding me, “You need to come out of your shell and be heard”.

For years on, I searched for ways to learn to speak up and be heard. I dabbled in public speaking courses such as enrolling with the BBC for a hefty fee which was a shocker to me when they taped us speaking. It left me completely non-plussed.

Then, I joined the Dale Carnegie course and was poorer by more than a thousand dollars for ten sessions. However, it was an ice-breaker for me and I improved somewhat. The improvement came after five projects of speaking but I wished that I had more drive for excellence.

Next, I discovered Toastmasters International, a public speaking movement that was started by Mr. Ralph Smedley in the US and had since evolved into innumerable clubs in many countries. My depth of participation fluctuated but after many years, I would like to credit my progress to the program run by the club.

The change is insidious. I do not get stumped by questions these days and am able to give a positive spin to most questions. How did I overcome my anxiety over public speaking? Looking back on the journey, it was obvious. Persist and look for more opportunities to speak. Do your projects seriously.

The starting points were always very painful as they involved hard work, fear of failure, embarrassment even ridicule. The truth is, most people are busy with their own anxieties and insecurities to be bothered by yours. Hence, the anxiety was my own illusion.

Most of us are not born speakers but we can hone ourselves into good speakers. Through learning, training, and practicing. My anxious mindset was my own making.

Over the years, I find that most problems are quite minuscule if we first overcome the fear and worry caused by the problems and instead focus on the solutions. Worry causes you to go around in circles and closes your mind. When you tame the beast that is anxiety, your brain will gravitate towards solutions and a more positive outcome.

The same principle applies to the gamut of emotions listed above. When angry, hold back as nothing good comes out of anger. Anger may lead to an impulse to defend, which may not be the right thing to do if you are wrong. The correct thing is to admit and apologize.

Anger may lead to the impulse to leap at the other party which is equally unwise and have dire consequences.

“In anger, we should refrain from both speech and action” — by Pythagoras. After simmering down, the whole incident may be a non-incident at all. One may even laugh at one’s folly. In any case, disasters are averted.

In any case, one may ask ourselves; What am I feeling? Why? What happened? How did it happen? What could be done about it? What are the possible consequences of an unbridled emotion? Will I regret it later?

The only emotions worth cultivating are joy and peace.

Summer Lotus Dec 28th 2021 4 min read

Life can be smooth sailing…

I wake up every day and somehow there are new mountains to climb. You need to get stuff done but your schedule is packed for the day. Once you stepped into the office, you are barraged by a hundred questions from staff. There are some hiccups in the office protocol/schedule that may dismay the customers.

Welcome to life, at home or in the office. Unless you live as a hermit, away from the din of city life, have few friends, and do not interact with most people, you would face less stress but you may also be consumed by boredom. I choose the former because it is not only challenging, it puts my wits to the test and there is a sense of fulfillment when things get done.

What you need are loads of patience, calm, communication, and determination.

Patience because things can be sorted out. Everything takes time as you strategize, leveraging on experience, connections, and timing.

Calm because the mind is a powerful instrument. It is an abyss of ideas but they are only released when the temperament is good which stills your heart and your knee-jerk reflexes and your negative emotions.

Communication because it is key to the solutions. People are not mind-readers but when there is a clear discourse, there are very few unreasonable people. In fact, they may stand on your side as they want to see you to succeed!

Determination because you will fail before you finally succeed. And fail many times. Obstacles seem insurmountable but eventually, they will diminish and you will stand on the pinnacle of victory. Even if you don’t, your lessons learned will enable your next challenge to be easily overcome.

One example; the bookings for the patients were messed up one morning. Suddenly, you have three ongoing appointments seeking treatment and all in the waiting room. Usually, patients have to get back to work or have another appointment outside.

State of calm activated. I seated the most elderly first ( the rest of the patients would understand) then listen out to his complaints. After reassuring him and telling him what would be done, I requested that he wait for me as it takes time to solve his problem efficiently. Effective Communication always works and one case is put on hold.

The second patient is attended to. The problem of most concern is attended to. Diagnostic work like X-rays is carried out. Clear explanations are explained and the patient is given a pain-killer if in pain and that itself takes time to come into effect. If not, the third patient waiting outside would be informed of the extra waiting time while resolving this case.

The third patient is attended to. Definitive work can be done like general work such as prophylaxis or restoration that usually do not take up much time. If there is extensive dental work to be done, the patient is explained about the complexity of the situation and re-appointed. Patients are very understanding. Discharged happily.

The first two patients are then treated consecutively and discharged. In my younger, inexperienced days which I noticed in younger colleagues of mine today, there is always a state of panic as to where to start.

Calm and communication in this instance solved the hiccups. Without calm, you may bungle up on your diagnosis as the mind needs to process the findings accurately. Without communication, your patients would become flustered and storm out, thinking that your clinic is disorganized. Of course, an apology to each patient is in order.

The second example; patient called and complained about an unsatisfactory treatment — Filling has dislodged again. From experience, I knew it was not the same one done. Most patients are not aware of exactly which tooth was treated but only could point to the quadrant where the treatment was done.

With the use of the dental camera and digital treatment records, we were able to show that the new restoration is done was still intact and the dislodged filling is often the next tooth. This has happened a few times. The patient had flared up unnecessarily.

Listen out to the patient patiently, instill calm by being composed yourself, and communicate with the patient with evidence provided, and have the determination to ensure that the patient has a pleasant experience that would lead to a successful outcome and repeat business.

This strategy applies to everything else outside work. In all situations involving misunderstandings, unhappiness, accusations, the greatest skill to master is calm. Followed by the patience to explain and the communication skills to put your points succinctly across. Determine to unravel the perceived problem and you will meet with success.