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Why some speakers engage the audience

March 7, 2020 by SUMMER LOTUS Leave a Comment

I have been with Toastmasters International for 30 years and would like to share why some speakers are so great.

Image by Irina L from Pixabay 

Why is it that some speakers are so dynamic? So watchable and listenable? They emerge on the stage and immediately, you feel electrified by them. They seem to have something worthy to listen to and you are going to enjoy their presentations.

A speaker first engages the attention of the audience by his or her first impression starting with his gait when he appears on the stage, his dressing, his facial expression and then his voice. Public speaking has so many aspects to it for a successful presentation that they are worth analyzing and putting them into practice for us to become better speakers.

According to Toastmasters International Speech contest Judges guide which the judges would use to assess the performance of the contestants’ speeches to determine the champion, the criteria are as follows:

Delivery is 30% Content 50% Language 20%

Delivery is further divided into

10% for physical delivery (appearance, body language and use of speaking area)

10% to use of voice (vocal variety)

10% to manner ( directness, assurance and enthusiasm)

Let’s focus on the delivery of the speech.

Beginning with the appearance, the speaker should dress appropriately. If the presentation is about sports, it is best that he is attired in smart sports attire so as to appear credible. There have been instances where the presenters appeared in casual wear even to the extent of wearing flip-flops to an event. This is not only out of sync with the rest of the speakers and the occasion, it also a sign of disrespect for the listeners.It is a quick way to trend online and advertise your event though it is not encouraged.

Body language refer to gestures and postures. If the speaker gesticulates or expresses wildly with his hands, this can pose as a distraction to his message. Gestures are best kept to a minimum. On the other hand, placing hands in front in the so called ‘fig position’ or behind one’s back is very unnatural in appearance. Appropriate gestures in tandem with the message is ideal. Postures are positions or stature adopted by the speaker. He or she should stand straight in a confident manner, feet slightly apart for a more stable pose.

A good speaker makes full use of the speaking arena. This is the designated area where he can move about decisively and steadily to engage the wider audience as he speaks. Facing only a certain group of audience would result in the neglect of others , losing them in the process. Being rooted to one spot spells anxiety and non-movement of the speaker is not only stiff in appearance but may cause the listeners to drift off to sleep.

Use of Voice

The speaker’s voice is an important factor in making the audience stay engaged. Listening to effective communicators, you observe and hear that there is vocal variety which includes volume, pitch, tone, emphasis, rate of speaking. This ensures that the speech do not sound monotonous. Significantly, the words must be crisp and clear. Being fluid and fluent is possible to achieve with adequate regular practice of reading aloud privately and taking up frequent speaking opportunities.

Manner

A good speaker comes across as confident, an authority on the content of his presentation. His every move is assuring and decisive. He is also enthusiastic and passionate about what he is talking about so that the audience can sense his sincerity in sharing his information. Smile does wonders. Everyone loves a happy person. But when conveying a serious message, the facial expressions and the body language will have to be congruent to make the speaker more believable.

Next, we look at the speech content

Content 50% is further divided into:

Development 20% (structure, organization and supporting evidence)

Effectiveness 15% (interest aroused, audience response, attainment of purpose)

Value 15% ( ideas, originality and logic)

Once you have launched into the opening speech and grabbed the attention of the audience, it is necessary to maintain the momentum of their interest by what you say.

Effective speakers structure their speech very well by organizing it into an introduction, body and conclusion. The whole speech must serve the purpose of imparting your main message in the end. The choice of the topic should be the speaker’s forte as this lends more credibility and authority to him.

In the opening of the speech, there are many techniques involved such as a question, a rhetorical one, a quotational opening, showing of a prop, a short story to provide background setting for the listeners, etc. This opening must be memorized cold so as to embark on your presentation with confidence. Faltering at this stage can be a stumbling block! If the prop is to be shown later, put it away within reach but out of sight from the audience so that it would not be a distraction.

In the body of the speech, the presenter would talk about at least three key points. Each point would be fully described with supporting evidence if needed so as to prove your case. Real life examples may be narrated to give the speech more ground to convince the listeners. Quotes by renowned figures are often used to deliver more punch in the message.

There should be smooth transition when moving from one point to the other. We call it goal posts as every idea is fully explored before proceeding to the next. According to experts, 3 or at most 4 points are ideal for a short speech but if it is a long presentation, the use of power points with the ideas in bullet format and relevant images may prove useful for better assimilation by the audience.

Some speakers are very discerning. Just as they are aware of their own body language, they are also mindful of the audiences’ body language so that what they have been talking about is relevant and piquing the latter’s interest at the same time. Where necessary, speaking off the cuff to inject a humourous remark or so may be helpful.

Good speakers make it pertinent to talk about their own experiences to make the speech sound more authentic. Only he has that unique situation that can apply to the speech and that makes it original. It must also be logical so as not to go out of point.

An important element employed by speakers is the use of humor. Humor always scores. Some speakers have the knack of looking at situations from an amusing perspective and able to share that joke or funny anecdote with the audience. This will certainly breaks the monotony of a long presentation and wake some people up from their slumber!

Ideas are bountiful. With the internet, library, newspapers, social media and the like, speakers have to delve into wider reading to source for ideas. From there, they can develop their own concept and give it the relevant spin that is useful and applicable.

Speakers would especially spend great effort and time on their content to make sure that they give their audience what they deserve for taking the time to listen to them.

In the conclusion of the speech, an effective speaker always summarizes what have been said. The important aspects are reiterated and finally the appeal for acceptance or action is definitely on the cards. Do not forget to thank the audience for their kind attention!

Language use –score of 20% is no less important.

The speaker would do very well if the speech centre around the correct use of grammar, good choice of words and pronunciation. Grammar involving tenses, pronouns, conjunctions, etc are not insignificant as wrong use may put off audiences. The good choice of words also makes the script more refreshing to listen to. With the help of thesaurus, some speakers ensure that they do not repeat the same verb or noun which is an annoyance and shows the lack of vocabulary. Finally, with the words especially if foreign words are quoted, the speaker has to be certain that they are accurately articulated.

There seem to be many challenges involved in crafting a good speech and delivering it well to the audience but they are not insurmountable. Like acquiring any skills, one needs constant practice and exposure and with sincere feedback from more experienced speakers, we can fine tune each speech and performance until we become effective communicators and welcome speakers.

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The power of persistence

March 7, 2020 by SUMMER LOTUS Leave a Comment

What, why and how it will bring you success

Tenacity in the snow by Rosalind Ho at Mt Moiwa , Sapporo

Do you have goals that you did not follow through and regret somewhat?

Do you wonder why some people are able to attain what they set their aims on?

Do you wish you could be like them and realise your objectives?

Having the gumption to do what you want to do is not enough. You need dogged tenacity to get there.

It seems easy for some people but really you need to hear their story.

This is a common occurrence in majority of us. The iron will belongs to only a few enlightened beings but that does not mean you cannot become one. Not many people have this stick-to-itiveness but it can be cultivated.

Why do some people lose that grit?

Factors include fear of failure, loss of interest, lack of practice, lack of preparation and loss of focus.

One of the most current famous symbols of persistence is personified by Jack Ma. Currently worth billions and the founder of alibaba.com, Mr Ma comes from humble beginnings.

His classic rags to riches story is due to his astounding level of grit and pluck.

His obstacles in life included failing many exams in school. He was rejected from Harvard ten times but I am more fascinated by the fact that he bothered to apply ten times given his results. This showed his tenacity. He was turned down for 30 jobs and became the only interviewee to be rejected by KFC.

However, Jack Ma embraced whatever happened to him and went on to become an English major. Even after he started Alibaba.com, he suffered many failures but he soldiered on and with his team was able to turn Alibaba into one of the biggest online E-commerce companies in the world.

By Rosalind Ho at Niseko, Hokkaido

Jack Ma says, “If you don’t give up, you still have a chance. Giving up is the greatest failure.”

Where do you get the inspiration to have dogged persistence?

We could read about other top achievers like great athletes , entrepreneurs, famous stars and personalities etc

You find that they have a life structure. If you examine closely, the following points are pertinent.

1 Firstly, their purpose in life is crystal clear. This is to ensure orderliness.

With that comes planning that is comprehensive and thoroughly researched.

2 A top achiever would execute the plan consistently and persistently within a time frame.

3 He or she would also regularly review how far the goal is in sight.

When there are failures, they are seen as part of the journey and temporary setbacks. The fight must go on.

4 They would seek out like minded friends who have the same goals so that there is sharing of ideas and they can mutually encourage each other. Also, they would have an idol or another significant figure to model after.

Personally, the ball is still in your own court. Only you can hold out as long as you want. No one can tell you to give up unless you do. The following tips may help.

1 If you set out to achieve a goal, make sure it is a burning desire. Then it must be an ambition that is purposeful and worthy that is not only beneficial to yourself but also to others.

2 Find out all the ways that would bring you closer to your dreams. Seek advice from people who have achieved and hopefully willing to mentor you. Search for information through friends, mentors, books, courses, internet and social media. knowledge is power so apply it.

3 Have a reasonable time frame during which you should set smaller goal posts along the way as targets. This shows you are moving towards your goal.

4 Analyse your errors and remove them accordingly. Improvise and improve all the time.

5 Work at it consistently and record your results. Psyche yourself with positive thoughts and a ‘can do’ attitude. Each incremental achievement, pat yourself on the back or share with someone who care.

6 Expect the road to be long and tedious and there would be other trade-offs such as sacrifices of other pursuits. Expect to work hard work as there is no shortcut to success.

7 Be realistic- not every goal may be attained on a single try . Sometimes, you may have to step back and take a breather but do not lose heart. When you come back to it again after a hiatus, it may just lead to you to success. Never give up. Even if you did not achieve ultimately, you have established a pattern of persistence in your pursuits.

What are the traits of tenacious people?

Generally, they have a vision and a higher purpose other than living day to day. They are self motivated and have a positive outlook even in dire circumstances.

They do not see failures as obstacles but as lessons and they would give themselves many chances.

They are passionate and have great energy. They want to achieve so badly that they can even will the energy. Now, notice that talent is not mentioned here.

Calvin Coolidge, the 30th US president said, “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Looking back, I exhibited the tenacity when I first started my practice. I started on the 6th floor of an office building which had no visibility. Rental was cheap going for less than $2 per square foot and I had a 1000 square feet. The lack of visibility was worrying. I wanted to succeed very much and I could do some professional introduction of myself to the tenants in that building. Surprisingly, people were receptive. There were no slamming of doors or chiding. Some even made appointments immediately.

The world was my oyster. I had office buildings all around mine. So I introduced myself formally to the human resource departments of companies. It took courage, a thick hide and tenacity to speak to strangers and felt kind of odd but I knew persistence would pay off. Ultimately, I gave myself many chances to succeed in my new practice by treating my patients very carefully and requesting for more of their referrals. Glad to say that I was in the black from the start.

Have the habit of persistence. The feeling of victory is far greater than the agony of defeat. If you have faced defeat then fight to become victorious and that form of success would taste sweetest.

Tiger Woods should know this. He fell out of grace from personal troubles and lost his focus. He had multiple knee and back surgeries and even dropped outside the 600 ranking. Incredulously, Tiger clawed back to win a major in 2019. This is indeed remarkable and only possible from a top achiever who had evaluated and strategised and then carried out his game plan assiduously.

Persistence is bitter but the fruits are sweet

Just one life. If you have a dream, give it all you have got. Persistence rarely disappoints. Even if you fail in one goal, the habit of persistence will pay off for your next one.

“That which we persist in doing becomes easy to do; not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our power to do has increased.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tags:

  • Persistence
  • Tenacity
  • Japan
  • Skiing
  • Successful Entrepreneurs

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Reading is the key to your success

March 7, 2020 by SUMMER LOTUS Leave a Comment

Image by Sofia Iivarinen from Pixabay 

Many people either have no time to read or stop reading. The secret to happiness is hidden in your library.

A sight, a sound, a scene can evoke thoughts for writing. Ever since I decided to begin writing as often as I could, I opened up my senses to this world. For stimulation and inspiration. I have started to view things positively. I felt this countless times. My life has taken a turn for the better because of medium.com that makes it a recommendation that what we write must be articles that are thought provoking, beneficial and encouraging. We internalize and manifest good thoughts as we think more about them.

Today, I walked into a subway train and was blown away by the motif of the interior section that I stepped into. A beautiful scene of a library of book shelves which adorned the whole stretch of both walls of the carriage. Books of all colors, titles and sizes neatly arrayed from the top to the bottom. Commuters were standing against the shelves, many looking at their mobiles, some reading their books or magazines.

What a serene feeling during that ride. I whipped out my phone to snap a picture to register this inspiration — -to read more. I belonged to the world of books but was never that passionate. Coming from the science stream, my books were confined to mathematics and science subjects. Reading novels were a rarity as there was much to commit to memory as a science student and fiction was not seen as important.

The books that I surrounded myself with for years were largely textbooks of learning- anatomy, physiology, histology, biochemistry, pharmacology, clinical manuals and so on. The only deviation was probably when I became interested in the Japanese language that I started mugging on the basics of Japanese grammar structures.

When I joined Toastmasters club to improve my public speaking skills. I realized that I lacked the oratorical abilities as well as a good content to deliver a credible speech. To develop these skills I needed to read more to understand how to hone my communication skills and write speeches . It requires me to build a good standard of English that can only come from reading more of everything other than my textbooks.

My love for the English language was sparked by listening to people who could articulate their thoughts with such clarity and finesse. I fell in love with the language and naturally reading as that would be the source of my development in this aspect. An organized library became my dream.

The paradise is the library. Stop looking everywhere else.

A beautiful library that would entice me to stay for a good length of time to devour my books. They would be books of renowned authors, biographers, philosophers, great thinkers, sages, best sellers of novels, history books, travel books, craft books, famous magazines like National Geographics, publications about photography, sports men and women and anything else that would improve my thinking and lifestyle. I believe this would enable me to handle life’s vicissitudes with ease and understanding from the insights and wisdom acquired.

Why reading is the ultimate luxury

1 Reading requires your undivided attention to assimilate what is written and capture the message. In today’s busy and fast paced world, one’s attention span may be disrupted by the events around us. Hence to benefit fully, you need to create that pocket of time daily to imbibe the applicable knowledge from your reading.

2 A book or any reading material is a good friend that never leaves you if you do not allow it. It is the most reliable companion in times of loneliness. You can choose to read humorous articles or any uplifting stories to enlighten yourself.

3 A journey into another world, culture , thinking. Travel a thousand miles through reading, experience another world at your leisure. When you go to these countries, you could enjoy fully.

4 It is your path to learning a new skill, a new technique. If you have the patience to read through, you may not even need to take lessons. This in turn allows you to launch into a new hobby or even a second career. I have friends who launch into their business successfully by just reading about their interest or hobby in detail including the intricacies of running businesses.

5 Reading builds discipline and character. Once you become a reader, the whole world is your oyster. Reading takes time and temerity. If you have the patience to finish a thick book, you could complete any manual or project with ease. Anything you wish to know or learn is open to you, more so with the internet today.

6 A good feel. The touch of a book , the viewing of its cover and thumbing through the pages give a sense of ownership that no computer can impart. Your favorite book sits on your shelf as a collectable to be passed on to your kids and theirs. It is your legacy.

I envision that with regular reading, I would be very informed in many aspects that I have interested myself in and able to apply to my life. To develop more passion in life as the ‘light’ dims and still be a beacon of hope and inspiration to my children and other people. Through my mind using my words that that have been enlightened by reading others.

With consistent and insightful reading, I want to develop some good thoughts and concepts. I would like to put those into writing on medium and hope they would be of use to those who read my articles. Then I would consider myself having a useful and successful life . It is through this library that my hopes and dreams will be built.

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When you do not succeed, find out why.

March 1, 2020 by SUMMER LOTUS Leave a Comment

From my own humble experiences…..

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Some people succeed in most things they do, some accomplish their goals easily but if you don’t, do not despair. The onus is on you to find out why. Don’t blame your stars, your parents or the country you are born in . The answers are often found in you alone.

I do not consider myself very successful but in those things that I have achieved, there are reasons that led to noticeable results. It is based on analysis and hindset that I want to share these thoughts with people who are interested.

I have achieved reasonable improvements in the learning of the Japanese language, building my own practice that is now 35 years old and still thriving and continue to enjoy sports at age of over 60 while most seniors would consider putting them on a back burner.

Push yourself because no one else is going to do it for you — success.com

In the learning of a foreign language, you have to have genuine passion to learn. Dive deep into the basics and memorise by hard. It is the building blocks of learning the language.

Then obsessed about it, spend some time each day exposed to the characters, learn the phonetics by hard and build on vocabulary and grammar. Expose yourself to listening to the language on the TV, YouTube and preferably make friends of the native speakers. An overseas short immersion course have helped.

In my dental business, I have staff that have stayed with me for close to thirty years. Our relationship is built on mutual respect and trust and sincerity for the good of the patients. Staff should be rewarded accordingly and I think I have been fair. Also keeping abreast of the developments in one’s career keep the staff interested too as the enthusiasm is infectious.

I have succeeded to enjoy two sports up till now- Scuba diving and skiing. Most seniors see 60 years of age as the limit for these sports. These sports are not exactly very comfortable equipments to don but I am glad that I have persisted and see the discipline as rewarding. I see them as enablers to ensure safety and enjoyment of a beautiful sport.

Having done four hundred scuba dives and enjoyed the charm of the Ocean, I am happy that I did not quit on Scuba diving. It’s discipline has the additional benefit of training me to be calm in unexpected situations.

I am also glad that I have managed to explore the magnificent sights from the intermediate slopes of the Japanese alps and have learnt to negotiate steeper slopes.

They are by no means big accomplishments as an average person but they are small successes that could lead to bigger ones. Before this, I have never seen myself as being able to attain what I have now.

“Everything comes to you at the right time. Be patient”

The following factors are contributors;

1 patience and persistence — keep at what you want to learn and expect to flounder and struggle each time. A turning point would come when you have become hardened to this self conflict.

2 learn from your mistakes– Every mistake that is made, reflect and try not to commit again. It is really about fine tuning one’s craft.

3 Look for a good mentor or instructor who can give succinct instructions and is patient and encouraging. Be humble. A mean instructor may be able to teach you more. Do not let pride get in the way.

4 Do not set limit on yourself– age, family background, financial constraints etc. If you are passionate enough, you will find the ways not excuses. And believe in yourself.

Success is sweet. Failure is just part of the path to success. Do not wait for it to come. Go for it!

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How to keep improving yourself in this negative world

March 1, 2020 by SUMMER LOTUS Leave a Comment

Here’s how….

Photo by Ales Krivec on Unsplash

Today’s world is full of distractions with news of wars, disputes, disasters and incidents on a daily basis. With the ubiquitous internet, it is almost impossible to escape these bad news because they sell and human beings have a desire to keep themselves safe.

But from time immemorial, these wars, disputes, disasters, accidents, incidents have happened continuously and they will never end. Meanwhile, one can be inadvertently swept up and enveloped by these news and even be paralyzed into inaction. I have met people who thinks that the safest place is the home and continue to build a barrier between themselves and the outside world.

Life is meant to be lived forward and reviewed backwards with relish. You might have heard from some people who always lament, “If only I had……..”, “I wished that I had……..”, “I regret not doing……….” Well, let not these words be spouted from your lips ever.

The biggest room in the world is the room for self improvement — — — Helmut Schmidt

Our glorious life and that means the one and only life you and I have right now. We should exalt and extol this one chance that you have been given by providence to make it good. For yourself and as an inspiration to others.

Many times, whenever I wanted to do something that is on my bucket list or even just to embark on a personal project , I am not short of naysayers. “Oh, we are passed that age by now”, “I think that is not possible to achieve in this lifetime”, “ It is dangerous…”

Everything we do have risks. A failure is just a slap in the ego, nothing else. It is evidence that your method do not work, so try another way. Age is only a number. Today’s internet videos have shown the possibilities achieved by people older than you and that is due to determination, courage and a positive mindset. Behind the success is sweat and tears. To “It is dangerous”, I say that life is unpredictable anyway. If you do your research, obey golden rules and take calculated risks, you can achieve and enjoy your journey.

The first negative comment I received was when I was nineteen and about to select my University course. I was told by an overseas professor that dentistry has no future. Fortunately, I did not take that to heart. I believed that there is always a room for good dentists and I have to earn that trust by keeping up to date, practicing carefully and really loving this career.

36 years on, I am still in love with dentistry and am glad that I have stuck to it even though some of my friends may have switched careers or have quit. To each his own. We all have our reasons but if you put your heart into your career and move along with the changes, you will love it. Dentistry is exciting and the image of this profession have greatly improved with the advent of digital technology and advances in dental science and techniques.

For that matter, every field is advancing with such incredible speed in this digital age. Even if one is retired and no longer needs to compete in the corporate world, continuing to better oneself in many ways gives one so much more power and energy to counter the negativity around us.

What can you do?

1 Read more– Reading holds the key to enlightenment and wisdom. Select books on success stories, personal development, skills and crafts of your interests and any materials that would give you ideas to better your life. Knowledge is power. It now depends on you to put them into action to bring more progress. Sometimes you surprise yourself with new found talents.

2 Inculcate a good habit and stick to it. A chinese saying has it that it takes three days to learn a bad habit but three years to build a good one. A good habit like exercise, studying, eating healthily for example requires persistence. It is the prerequisite to attain what you set out to achieve.

To achieve this, you need to set a routine to work at it, find your inspiration to motivate yourself consistently and believe in yourself.

3 Stay positive with a ‘can do’ attitude. In all situations, look for the good. It is a matter of losing something and gaining another thing. Before embarking on a project, it may look insurmountable. Look for role models who have done it . Even if you do not attain the full success, trying and modelling after those who have succeeded will get you midway and you just have to work harder from there.

4 Select your friends. The old adage, ‘Birds of a feather, flock together’ may be tired but rings true. If you want to know what a person is like, check out their friends. It also depends on who is the one who is most dominant and setting the behavior. In the learning of speaking Japanese for example, the obvious way to expedite it is to have some Japanese friends who are willing to converse with you. If you like a certain strength in a friend, you could only acquire it by hanging around him or her more and finding out how.

5 Be a mentor and a teacher. I believe in having mentors whether they are older or younger than me. As long as they are skilled, knowledgeable and kind in what they do, it is wise to request of their help to achieve what you want to improve in. Thus far, I have improved in my flute playing, scuba diving, skiing, the practice of advanced dentistry in particular, implants through friends who turned kind mentors who are dedicated and generous in imparting their knowledge to me. I in turn reinforce my own learning by sharing them with those who are interested in what I do too.

Paulo Coelho said, “ When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.” This is the essence of living. Improve yourself and you will always be a contributor to the welfare of others. This certainly would make your life more fulfilled and happy.

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Life’s ups and downs

March 1, 2020 by SUMMER LOTUS Leave a Comment

Some people face them from young, some later in their lives…or all their lives… good lessons do come out of them

Photo by Jake Thacker on Unsplash

The thing about life. It is interesting. It is like a pandora box waiting to be opened. You will discover more about yourself if you explore, experience and experiment. We are not meant to be standing still . Like a rolling stone, we could gather moss. Only if the stone’s surface has been roughened by the vicissitudes of life.

On looking back, we become rich not by money but by our life encounters that we are thankful for. In fact, the more challenging, the better. Therein lies our discovery of the solutions to our obstacles, hindrances and impediments.

I was a quiet child from a humble background. In my family of seven siblings, my father survived on a salary of S$300 to bring food to the table. My mother was a hardworking housewife, toiling each day to get by. I was told, we could ‘squeeze ‘ water out of stone to survive, so to speak . Frugality naturally became our second nature. Industriousness became a by product.

Being quiet was an impediment to many opportunities but sometimes I managed to rise above them due to the need to reach my goals. From an unknown school, I had wanted to go to an elite school just for the hell of it. My grades were borderline but on that day, I met the principal, I suddenly found my voice. I expressed my desire to be accepted by the school. The principal could sense the passion in my eyes and by sheer luck, I was accepted.

It was not a happy existence in the secondary school. There were many talented and brilliant students as well as rich ones too. The poor students who had intelligence were save. I was in the mediocre range and struggling. The truth is you become a nobody and watched others excel.

My humiliation was not being recognized as a student with potential. In fact, my essay book had been flung out the classroom window few times which I then ran down the building to retrieve. My essay pages were often blank or incoherent due to mental block or sheer emptiness in my brain vault. I was often asked to repeat the instructions given by the teacher but of course I failed to, being a poor listener engaged in my own vanquished thoughts.

I became a flower on the wall, albeit a sad one. In the final year, I became aware that my form teacher had not once stopped at my desk to ask how I was doing. I was bypassed like an insignificant object.

But the irony of the year end result was that I passed reasonably well to get into college. I still coveted for a good college which I made it by the skin of my teeth but my passion to excel did not grow. Most of the two years were spent ruminating of my unknown future and why other girls were so clever.

College ended and my friends dispersed to the courses that were highly popular. We called it the big four- Medicine, Dentistry, Accountancy and Law. These were seen as highly respected and stable professions with good money to be earned.

As expected, there was not enough money for the last child and my parents were getting old and my father had retired. I worked as a receptionist and while at it, I came across an advertisement in the newspapers recruiting air stewardesses for Singapore Airlines. Meanwhile, my friends had gone on to pursue their dreams in University.

I decided to go for the interview which attracted some thousands of hopeful girls. Singapore Airlines was still relatively unknown but under the strong governance of Mr Lee Kuan Yew, one can expect it to be among the top in no time and it did. In the interview, I was asked why I did not go straight to the University. I said that I loved serving customers especially in SQ and would do my best to make the airline proud. The truth was the lack of money. In any case, I managed to overcome my obstacle to this employment and was thrilled by my ingenuity despite my quiet nature.

It was the real world that I had entered. Having responsibilities, serving customers to ensure that that they were happy and keeping the National flag flying high. One grows up very fast in this job compared to a desk bound one. People comes in all shapes and sizes and temperaments. Colleagues could be helpful or mean. Unexpected incidents pleasant and unpleasant cropped up. In one and a half years, my eyes were opened to the world and inconsistencies of life. But we all learned to cope…fast, especially in the airlines and an international job.

After one and a half years, I grew a little wiser and had the opportunity to finally enter the University to study dentistry. That was another whole new world of challenges which warrant another article. Anyway, when the road is not smooth, you would learn more.

If I had come from a well heeled family, my path would have been different. Out of adversity arises the need to overcome. I have learnt a few things;

1 Sometimes you ask and it shall be given but there must be a good reason.

2 Nobody can help you but yourself. If you want to be in someone’s good books, receive their admiration and be commended, then you have to give them a reason to do so.

3 You need to continually work hard. If you are not endowed with special talent or have high intellect, you need to acquire them through hard work and persistence and you will get there.

4 A poor family is not necessary a bad thing. It gives more impetus to the person to do something proactive than to have everything within your easy reach and not appreciate that you could attain the goals yourself.

5 People do not be mean to be condescending though some are. They are just naturally drawn to people who are smart and rich, though I doubt the latter attracts real friends.

6 Keep plugging along. The road of life is never smooth even till the end. As it surprises you, you could further surprise yourself by coming up with innovative ways and ideas.

7 The world is indeed fascinating because there are so many variations-race, culture, languages, food, philosophies, lifestyles, hobbies, etc. There is so much to live for.

Now, I am in the 60s and it used to be a time for retirement. But people have longer life spans in today’s world. Living longer brings other problems linked to aging and a need to adapt to changes in the new world. 

I think that we are living in such an interesting and exciting era that retirement is not on my cards. We should still try to keep abreast of the changes and ride on the benefits of the wonderful technological changes and medical advances. They arise because there are people who overcame challenges and bring conveniences to the masses. Life will always have its ups and downs but judging from the human spirit, we can overcome.

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