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Have a great time, not all is lost.

Summer Lotus Oct 11·5 min read

Every chance I have, I would explore. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the smaller the world gets. More information will be accessible to you because of a new experience.

You see things, you meet more people and you learn more. The more you stay put at where you feel is convenient and comfortable, the smaller your world becomes and you become confined to your little niche until one day, you stepped out…. you realized the world has changed and you had missed out a lot.

We, human beings are creatures of habit. I used to subscribe to the old adage, “ It’s ain’t broken, don’t fix it”. So I would go to the same cafe, do the same things and go out with the same circle of friends. But this does not allow growth. Growth can only occur if your senses, your rationale, and your attitude are challenged or awakened.

These days, I would go off onto untrodden territories. Stuff that I usually don’t do until this Covid-19 era when traveling is curtailed and we look for things to do to deal with the mundane.

With more time on my hands, I started to explore. I would go cafe hopping following safe entry and safe distancing rules of course. No more the same Cappucino which I think is the world-best served by the cafe opposite my workplace. The internet has made it easier as all you need to do is finger work. Type “ Best cafe near me”. A list appears and many of them have google rankings, reviews, and websites.

Every cafe has its distinctive attractions. Some beckons because of their website, some for their menus, some for their unique surroundings. I needed a jolt to my bored brain to stimulate ideas.

I found out for myself why some cafes do well. To me, the product such as the quality of the coffee and cake is very important. The ambiance that allows me to settle in for at least a half-hour where it is suitable for people watching and brewing new ideas for writing on the medium is desirable. If the service is excellent and the price is comparable to the market rate, then that is the supreme choice for me. Ultimately, my search for the cafe that motivates me will always go on.

So far, I find that given that aroma-giving cuppa and a delicious cake, I have been able to write something or at least come up with a theme to write about. Maybe it is the caffeine in the coffee or the oomph factor of the cake, I am thrilled for the “side-effect”.

The other day, at a City cafe, I spotted a dark chocolate cake which I felt was of good value. It was a dollar less than most places and was at an established chain. The appearance of the slice of cake told me it was not all cream which I detested, it looked moist and the name “dark chocolate” appealed to me. It did not disappoint.

The taste of the piece of cake triggered some emotions in me — fleeting between peace and elation. I started to wax lyrical and came up with poetry which was quite a surprise to me.

The poetry that was written; What Is It About Real Dark Chocolate Cake?

Being a dentist, I have a very sequential mind and by that I mean, I think in terms of steps and protocol as in our dental procedures. I was glad that there was some ‘art’ in me to write even though it may not meet other people’s standards but it was jk a start for me to get creative. I have found my outlet. It also helps me to appreciate the ‘now’ more.

One day at a cafe, I was quietly sipping their Cappucino, reading and occasionally looked up to watch people around me. I noticed that a lady sitting alone at the table opposite me, talking to herself and gesticulating. She had no ear-piece in either ear and was not holding a handphone. I noticed with empathy that she must be so stressed mentally to be talking to the air and disputing her troubles. I prayed silently for her.

It reminded me that we have to take care of our mental health. I believed that after venting her emotions her way, she would feel better. After all, she managed to order and pay for her food, so it could just be her way of managing her problems. I have my way to dissipate stress and could be seen as pathological to others too.

At another cafe, I noticed an unusual theme used to attract customers. In the showcase were many attractive desserts symbolic of Singapore such as Kueh Tu Tu( originally a grated, sweetened brown coconut in a flour exterior with the shape of a petal), a bak chor mee (a traditional famous dry noodle), and a nasi-lemak dish(conventionally coconut-infused rice served with egg and fried fish with the famous sambal chili paste), just to name a few.

However, it was food art and none of the food tasted the real thing but was dessert. A lot of effort and creativity had gone into them. One bite into this food and what you get is dessert in the highest art form of Singapore’s famous street food. For example, the yellow noodles were made from passion fruit, a half-boiled egg made from yogurt mango, and chili from strawberry and lemongrass!

The alphabet soup disguised lychee mousse with lychee bits and raspberry and a layer of rose jelly topped with milk agar. So soup was the dessert. There were beautiful fruits to charm you at the end of each meal but they were desserts.

The Yuzu ‘fruit’ is made from Yuzu milk chocolate mousse, lighten yuzu curd, green tea whipped frosting, almond chocolate sponge, coated in yuzu spray.

We were spoilt for choice by the art of food here.

Feast your eyes before you feast your food but your taste buds will be delightfully deceived for this unique experience. A mind-boggling, altered encounter of the senses, great for a conversation piece and ice breaker!

My exploration of cafes and their unique traits continue. It was a very stimulating experience, especially in such COVID-19 times. It is not only to show support to these cafes that tried to stay afloat, many deservedly so for their effort but also a way to break the monotony of being confined within my country. One starts to discover that we have so much to see and savor in our backyard.

Covid-19 may stay around for a while but our ways to overcome restrictions in our mobility should not only help others but help ourselves to move forward in many supportive ways.

The globalized world did not disappoint me.

Summer Lotus Oct 9 · 3 min read

Today, I passed by a “Japan rail cafe” in the business district of Tanjong Pagar, Singapore. My, how the place has changed over the years.

Huge, upmarket restaurants and cafeterias now dot the area, catering to the crowd in this supposedly dense office/apartment/hotel district.

This cafe caught my attention as I am a Japanatic. With travel restrictions, this is the closest that I can get to Japan which I used to go at least three times a year.

The lunch did not disappoint. The display of the array of Japanese food on the glass panel beckoned me and I was game for Kanazawa Black curry. Some years ago, one might not have heard of it. In recent years, almost anything is available.

Not one to frequent restaurants often, I am again up to learning new things. It’s common these days to order food on the iPad. Waiters are freed to concentrate on serving instead of waiting for customers to order.

The shiny iPad screen makes all the food emit a luster that makes my mouth water. A gentleman sat next to me and I instinctively passed the iPad menu to him.

He said, “ Thank you but wouldn’t my food be charged to you”? Then it occurred to me that I had handled him my iPad menu like a hard copy menu but the former was supposed to be exclusive to each customer.

Abashed, I said,” Oh, then it would just be a treat from me”.

“You must be new around here”, he continued and I said “yes, just checking this cafe out”, then went back to tucking my meal in.

Kanazawa Black Curry rice did not disappoint. The breaded pork was crunchy outside and tender inside, the rice was authentic sticky white rice and the egg was just fried crispy at the base. Shredded cabbage was a good addition.

A delectable meal alright. I finished off with a Hokkaido Milk Soft Serve. The rich and creamy milk melted in my mouth and caused me to reminisce about my trip to Hokkaido sampling the incredible range of soft serves.

I whipped out my iPhone and started recording this experience. An article to be shared on medium.

The world has indeed become so globalized especially in Singapore. You can find the most unexpected delicacies from far-flung areas of the world and sample them if you bother to seek them out.

Covid-19 may have restricted our travels but in today’s world, one has to roll with the punches. If not for the decision to explore within the surroundings in my country, I may not have known that everything has evolved so much as the world changes.

We can still enjoy our country if traveling is out of our ‘to do” list because globalization and technology allow us to connect in many ways whether it is food, ideas, work, or lifestyle.

“Every day is an adventure if you care to explore”

You will be impressed by how technology can uplift you.

Summer Lotus Oct 8 · 3 min read

It is a hot, sultry afternoon and due to Covid-19 fear, business is still far from brisk. On this day, I went to explore Funan Digital mall which had undergone a massive facelift and opened in June 2019.

It is a mixed-used development comprising a retail mall, two office towers, and a serviced apartment tower in the Civic District in Singapore. To me, it is a one-stop food and entertainment place with a wide array of shops offering a myriad of services from health/wellness to IT stuff and other lifestyle goods. There is also a challenging indoor rock climbing gym and a cycling path.

This is the shopping mall of the future and seems to cater to the young and active. As long as your heart is young and you are willing to explore, there is plenty of fun to be had.

This afternoon, I went to Hologate Singapore with my young friend who is game to try out the Virtual Reality session. It was a mind-blowing experience.

We tried the game called “Cold Clash”.😊 With our VR headsets donned, and even though we were just rooted to the spot with the cables, it was a different experience when the VR was on.

My friend and I were pitted against each other to collect as many gold coins as we could. Each of us had our own hovercraft to maneuver on a frozen lake. As I turn the corner here and there, I fired my power laser weapon at the penguins, each holding a treasure chest about their head. When struck, the wooden chest disintegrated in a shower of glitter, spilling gold coins onto the icy floor. Then, I would fire at the coins and they popped into my cart and my score went up. In the distance, my friend was working hard fighting for her survival too.

The snow fight is between my friend and me to see who collected the most coins. The challenge was ducking the crazy, territorial yeti who would shoot at us. I was so engrossed in avoiding the hits that I ducked and bobbed crouched and crawled on the floor of the hovercraft. Not to mention the Oohs and Ahhs in our excitement.

Momentarily, I remembered that I was in a virtual world but I preferred to be in it anyway as it seemed so real and fun. The jumping, ducking, and sudden cowering to escape “fire” really caused me to break out into a sweat and was indeed a workout.

When the time was up, my friend scored ( I was glad I did not kill her to steal her points) and we noticed the in-charge had doubled up in laughter. She must have been quite entertained by our body movements, gestures, and postures, especially seeing a mature woman like me enthralled by children’s games.

However, I think this is a fun activity for people of all ages. I am looking forward to getting a few friends to engage in the next game and getting a work out as well.

Technology is indeed fun. I am ready to fight robots, zombies, and dragons. Immerse in VR for a moment of fun from long depressive news about Covid-19, recession, and world politics. Everything bad would soon pass.

It is a very important activity in the Covid-19 era.

Summer Lotus Sep 29 · 5 min read

I am into writing these days besides reading. After years of Toastmasters activity, I find that we can enhance our communication skills greatly through these two habits.

As I have spoken about reading before, let’s focus on writing.

What is writing? It can be your personal journaling, writing fiction, nonfiction, a blog, an essay, a letter, anything, as long as your put your pen to paper or you tap away at your keyboard.

Why should we write?

1. Promotes better thinking. When you write down ideas and thoughts, they may appear unconnected and vague at first. If you continue to write with a structure such as having a goal, supporting evidence, relevant anecdotes, a listicle, et cetera, your ideas will start to take shape and solidify.

Your thoughts become more critical, concrete, and organized. Solutions and answers may arise when you least expect it.

2 Allows reflection of past events. When you write a personal story, you think about what happened, it’s pros and cons, where you did right and what went wrong, and derive important lessons.

That is why History is so important and we have the authors to thank for documenting them.

As they say, those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. So we can learn from what we have written.

3 The more you write, the better your vocabulary as in learning any skill. It is a good habit to inculcate whether it is for personal growth or in a business setting.

Personally, it’s good for your mental health as you can see issues clearer and feel more confident as your writing skills blossomed.

At work, Your colleagues will like you for the clear and concise messages to get work done.

4 Everything stems from excellent writing – Speeches, videos, meetings, lectures, memos, and so on.

When you write well, you feel more confident to speak well.

Are we not We are always moved by speeches that have a succinct message, poignant points, and a logical flow. Remember Obama’s message, “ Yes, we can?” Or any of our founder LKY’s speeches. Obviously, it is from a well-written script.

5 We write for another practical reason. Writing is a legitimate career in today’s world. People are making money with their writing. As authors on writing platforms, bloggers, freelance writers, content writers, and so on.

It is an alternative source of income in this Covid-19 period where you can work from anywhere and do not require a hefty investment. It requires you to be passionate about reading, researching, and writing.

As more businesses move online, people who write well are much sought after by companies to attract potential customers to their sites through the use of their words. We Toastmasters should know what makes an effective script.

It is achievable but requires diligence.

It was not easy for me to start writing even a 5 min speech for the Toastmasters project but improvement does happen. It gets a little effortless with time.

When facing writer’s block, I did the following things which may or may not suit you.

1 Tap on your emotions — We all have a wide range of emotions — from anger to sadness to sorrow to happiness to joy to embarrassment to apathy to disgust to frustration to fear to horror and so on.

Think of an incident that made you very happy or very angry or very sad. You can crystallize a speech out of that incident. Just trust that you can because, in extreme feelings, one has a lot to say. I see it on social media when people write three pages of grouses or two pages when joyful.

It is only useful if you can derive some lessons from your experiences. It also trains you to describe them in the best way possible. But remember to consult your dictionary for appropriate words. Consult grammarly.com to put your grammar right. There is a free version.

2 Take a walk — When at a loss for words, no pun intended, stop, and go for a walk. According to research, walking is a superpower activity that goes beyond just building good health for your brain, heart, muscles, and bone.

Novelists and poets have long believed that walking and writing are connected. Now there is research to back that claim. Among the past literary luminaries known to be avid walkers are Charles Dickens, Virginia Wolf, Ernest Hemmingway.

The research found that walking for forty minutes three times a week enhanced the connectivity of important brain circuits, reduced declines in brain function associated with aging, and increases your cognitive performance.

3 Look for sources of inspiration. Flip through your albums — See which photos provoke or incite you the most and write your feelings down. What could have been better? How have you dealt with your situation? What were you grateful for?

The best source is reading books or other people’s writings. Filter them through your mind, come out with your own spin or perspective on the story and write your own story making them inspirational and encouraging. There is no lack of sources nor lack of time, only a lack of discipline and passion.

4 Check yourself out.

You are a treasure trove of ideas with your unique experiences each day. Find out your passion, your achievements, and your dreams. Every day is a happening one, if you do, ask, and observe.

In conclusion, writing is an exciting activity. It takes you on a journey to explore your own world. This article arose because I was stuck with what project to do until I started to put on paper, “Why I write, and How to overcome my writer’s block”. In the process, I found my answers and solutions.

Start writing no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. — — Louis L’ Amour

Wield your pen, tap your keys.

Persist.

The magic will come.

Words will flow, ideas will connect, and a message becomes imminent. Your article will be ready. You have finally written. You are ready to give the speech and your future is ever so bright because of honing these two skills.

How I found my answer in a simple quote.

Summer Lotus Sep 27 · 4 min read

I honestly believed that one can only help yourself. Not that I think people are unhelpful but that the ball is always in your own court. There are many reasons for this:

1 You need to find a person who is a patient listener and willing to help you.

2 You need to communicate your problems very well to the party

3 You need someone who is really competent in that field.

In today’s hectic world, people are finding their own way around their daily tasks and challenges. Once you stepped into the working world, your honeymoon period of being a student and receiving help is largely over.

The society has expectations. That you have equipped yourself with good basic knowledge to work industriously, ethically, and sensibly in your job. That is unspoken. You are expected to upskill yourself along the way as Change is ever-present. Once you fall back, you will be greeted by dust in the face like being smoked by the smog of the vehicle ahead of you.

This is when you wish you were a student again, those carefree days when you just need to imbibe all the teachings, and yet I had complained about studying so hard. But you can always go back to classes by finding time after work and on weekends but you need to pay an exorbitant fee to learn. You can also learn online if you are able to do that but not all can.

Learning anything well requires one to be passionate about it, be mindful of details, and do constant practice if you want to make it count. Otherwise, you will live another mediocre life.

My challenge is in technology. WordPress websites and E-commerce sites are the latest by-words these days. It is necessary to know how to create them as they are quintessential knowledge of the new world which can be learned unlike in the old days when coding is mandatory.

Technology is getting so intelligent that people who are not tech-savvy can pick up these skills. It bodes well for your resume and it can be your alternative source of income allowing you to become a writer, a content creator, a website creator, an e-commerce seller, and so on. The opportunities are infinite. However, the ability to understand varies with individuals, and therein lies my challenges and frustrations.

WordPress website creation turns out easy but creating a website for a client with varying needs was another story. You need to understand the client’s mission, purpose, and corporate story before you can put together a coherent website that impresses their customers and make them want to do business with the company. Content creation posed no difficulties as I have been writing and understands the persuasive power of good content.

One time, I was stumped by the backend processes of making the website so that the client’s hosting and domain could be transferred smoothly to my own provider. There was so much to learn.

The Telegram chat group consists of members who are very eager to help and give good pointers. The instructors’ team has been swarmed with queries from students due to a large group of members which include former students. Instructors continue to give their support this way which is very appreciated but may not be able to meet everyone’s needs in time.

Members share ideas that may be useful. Sometimes they conflict because the questions might have been misunderstood, sometimes they are overridden by comments as others pose on the telegram simultaneously. Anyhow, it is a wealth of information and solutions post-workshop and I would need to differentiate the wheat from the chaff.

Everyone is learning continuously and there is always another technical obstacle to scale. Each of us is busy with family life, work-life, assignments, and unforeseen sudden circumstances. Though I received help from staff and members as and when they are able to give, it was my ability to grasp the technicality that matters. I have no one to blame but myself.

I always remember this quote and it has served me well:

Buddha: No one can save you but yourself. No one can and no one may. You must walk the path alone.

As such, my remedy to redeem myself is mooted out as follows:

I must read more and thoroughly. It is not fun reading a technical article.

I must develop a love for reading as it is not my habit.

I must figure out the video by my instructor that was created painstakingly for this technical problem.

I must be patient as it always pays off.

I must consult Youtube too to supplement my learning as it is the resident teacher of our times which is free and ever helpful.

In conclusion, I must kick the ball out of my court because no one else can do it for me. Let see if I score this goal in the next few days. I always believe that nothing is out of reach. Nothing is preposterous. Nothing will put me down.

That is why I will continue to excel in this new skill and not remain mediocre.

By Rosalind Ho 25th Sept 2020

Breaking this habit will lead to happier and peaceful relationships.

According to Cardwell, 1996, a stereotype is a fixed, over-generalized belief about a particular group or class of people. For example, a “hells angel” biker dresses in leather.

In the broader society, we face stereotyping on a daily basis, whether at home or in school but especially so in the workplace. This is exactly what is happening in many parts of the world now when people who feel stereotyped wants a change in the behavior of the opposing party.

Often, it is due to differences in thinking, lifestyles, behavior, culture, et cetera. The disparity and lack of understanding results in miscommunication, misunderstanding, and apathy. Anger, aggression, and violence do not provide solutions.

Human beings will never be perfect. We are born pure but conditioned by our upbringing, environment, and culture to have a certain perceived notion about events and people around us. How often have we heard statements like, “ Women are bad drivers”, “ Youth is wasted on the young”, “You are too old to be doing this” and so on?

The more you stereotype others, the less you understand them. The more you or others stereotype yourself, the more limitations you set on yourself.

Advantages to Stereotyping

There may be some advantages to stereotyping, however. It may enable us to respond rapidly to situations because we or someone else may have similar experiences before. It comes in handy when you need to analyze a person or event quickly.

As the old adage says, “ Birds of the same feather flock together”. If a particular group clearly displays undesirable behavior, and your son’s friend belongs to that group, it bodes well to dissuade or caution your child about his contacts.

In addition, if you want to be progressive in a certain skill and you are impatient to be endowed with the skill, it only makes sense that you hang around people whom you think have the expertise and likely to influence you to gain a deeper interest in your development of the skill.

If I want to know more about effective writing, for example, I would go to read about works written by popular authors. How I would stereotype ‘popular authors’ would be to look at the number of followers on the author’s profile. There is a reason why some of them have a following to the tune of six figures.

Disadvantages to Stereotyping

Stereotyping has led to discrimination and prejudice of people resulting in strife and unhappiness. We act before we even think. This gut feeling is not always useful and not accurate as well.

One disadvantage is that you only see one aspect of the person or group and ignoring other positive traits inherent in the other party. You may fail to overlook an important factor that could contribute to yourself or your organization as a whole because of your insignificant bias. You have made a generalization.

One time, my son who is not exactly a sharp dresser but a high saver was looking to buy a car and he was in his mid-twenties. He came back dejected that he did not get any service and was largely ignored. One salesperson finally came forward to explain to him sincerely. Well, he was stereotyped by most of them to be unaffordable of the car, I told him.

A badly dressed or inappropriate dressed person is unlikely seen to be a customer. He is seen as someone with not enough money to buy a car and more likely to be viewing cars as a hobby or fascination. My son said he was going back to buy the car from the sincere salesman.

Hence, the non-stereotyper got his business and laughed his way to the bank. My son thought it was a good way to draw the sincere and genuine seller who is not discriminatory but I told him that the better lesson learned is to improve on his dressing.

Not stereotyping others help us to think better. We make better friends, recruit better staff even marry better partners.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

How to stop stereotyping others

1 Understand the other party first — learn more about their likes, culture, personality before jumping into a conclusion. In the group, see the individual as one and not necessarily part of the group.

Celebrate diversity, make more friends, eat their food, pick up their lingo. You will find it more interesting than you think.

2 Look for the good-everyone has talent in different forms. You can learn something from everybody if you are able to excavate it. I learned much Chinese history from my patient who was a cashier with NTUC who turned out to be a very studious design graduate from Suzhou University. She benefitted from my teaching of English.

Every time you are inclined to stereotype others, train your mind to think another way and look for the positive traits.

3 Be mindful — Recognize when you are stereotyping someone and think of occasions when someone surprises you beyond your expectations. I had many occasions to meet foreigners who speak Mandarin better than many Chinese educated people. That is because they put in the interest and the effort to upskill themselves.

One time, we were asking for directions in a New York subway. The young black man we met was enthusiastic and friendly and he immediately engaged with me in Mandarin which he spoke with fluency and accuracy.

In our short conversation, I found out that he had learned Mandarin by himself watching Youtube and his dream was to go to Beijing to work and study Mandarin. I was very inspired.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and remember how you were being biased or prejudiced before. Or someone had said something demeaning to you because they have stereotyped you.

The next time, you are inclined to judge, remind yourself to be more empathetic, and seize the opportunity to create new friendships and be inspired.

How to stop being stereotyped by others

1 Develop respect for others.

One way is to be culturally humble. — The world is a diverse place inhabited by people of all races, cultures, and religions. Create curiosity and attitude to be interested in others. There are many refreshing and useful concepts that can be gleaned from other cultures and they can learn from us too. Interact in such a way that you consider others first without criticism. Then you will be greatly respected in turn.

A good principle was said by Confucius: Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.

2 Be broadminded and accepting of others. You can win a friend when you listen more and talk less. Moreover, you learn more. Communication is the bridge to a reliable relationship. As others open up to you so must you reciprocate such that there are trust and faith built in your interaction.

3 Refuse to be stereotyped — When people are prejudiced against you, take it as a challenge to prove yourself. You may not succeed at first but at least you have tried and you should try again.

Persistence will pay off if you build on your strengths. Behind this is hard work which involves gaining knowledge, learning skills, and sharing them if they benefit others.

Conclusion

The world is already global and connected. Diversity is here to stay and the world will become more complex as people evolve. We will never become one homogeneous race even it is the same race in one country. Because human beings are too different in their thoughts, likes, and upbringing. For a better world, one has to be aware of the stereotype habit.

Stereotyping is a threat to personal and corporate progress as well as happiness in life. It even threatens peace in general. We must break the stereotype habit, and substitute a new, better thought process in our modern world.