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Unbelievable but believe in oneself, we must

Summer Lotus 5 days ago 3 min read

It is a milestone for me. I just published 100 stories, some well received and some not so. Nevertheless, I consider it an accomplishment because before these 100 articles existed, I never think that I could write and improve so much along the way. Even though, it is a far cry from many writers who have achieved writer status on Medium platform, some garnering as many as 200K followers.

I know it was all toil, sweat and tears for these high flyers. Years of writing persistently, typing at keyboards, researching, reading, living their lives to share their experiences with us and always with a goal to impart an important message or valuable information to the readers. I aspire to be like them.

Writing frees my mind and my spirit.

I have become a better person. Whatever positive thoughts that I have put down on paper, I am reminded to practice them. For eg, if I talk about the importance of good temperance, I am subconsciously reminded to bear it out or I would feel fake and unworthy.

Many thoughts mooted during writing have caused me to be more pro-active in my life. Thinking to write made me more creative, patient and sharp. I seem to be able to have many thoughts at once and can thrive in the midst of distractions to get a task done. Good temperance and humor intact.

My writing improved due to more reading, especially reading good authors’ works, developing analytical skills from their experiences and solutions to their problems. Writing requires me to delve deep into my own history and evaluate my life.

In any case, I am definitely a happier person. When once, I was at a loss for words and ideas, these days, my brain is teeming with ideas that I can expand onto paper to share with my readers and supporters. I am not embarrassed to mentioned that being followed and getting the claps are endorphins-stimulating. They do boost the self-esteem and keeps me going. I concede that we all need encouragement to move forward and do even better.

Writing made me reflect on what have happened in my life thus far — -hmm, not too bad. Life’s ups and downs were there and they were not insurmountable. Every incident afforded a good lesson and I have tried to improve and not make the same mistakes again. Generally, I have had a balanced life — enjoying quite a bit in travels, dabbling in many sports, developing new skills and living actively and building up my career at the same time. I have managed to have two kids who are now grown, sensible and independent. There is still room to excel for the last lap of my life.

Writing and Reading — The two most meaningful activities that will take me into old age as I slowed in some activities. They will never pale in comparison with anything else. New worlds continue to open up. It is so exciting that I cannot wait to savor them.

Just a short walk away, a delightful experience.

Summer Lotus Oct 29  2 min read

We have contained our Covid-19 crisis relatively well. Singaporeans are grateful to be able to dine out while keeping safety rules.

On a beautiful sunny day like this, I set out from my clinic during lunchtime to explore what’s new around my building.

Today, I stumbled upon ‘Berthold Delikatessen’, a stone’s throw away from my building which I never knew existed. Here is a chic alley of restaurants far from the madding crowd, next to The Capitol Kempinski Hotel.

The moment I set foot into this cafeteria, I fell in love with it. It is a traditional German delikatessen and the sophisticated European theme stirred up all the wonderful memories of my aromatic coffee moments in Germany and other cities.

To my delight, I discovered that besides dining indoors, one can eat outdoors for an alfresco feel. But I chose the mezzanine level that afforded me a bird’s eye view of the people below me.

I was greeted by an old-world charm at the mezzanine level. I settled at a table, happy that I was facing the gallant flowers of the opposite balcony. It was an iPhone moment. I wanted to capture this mood just when my creative juices were activated.

My lunch today was a simple set of Pan Au Chocolat with a Cappucino. It was a reasonable S$8 for an upscale, private cafe in the heart of the City. The aroma of the fragrant coffee hiked my senses and the pastry was simply delectable.

A lovely quiet time by myself, savoring the goodness of life, the ingenuity of the baker’s talent, and the wonderful feelings that welled up inside me.

Time is in our hands. We are all busy but we need to make time for some self-exploration and see the beauty around us. Even if it is fleeting. Especially if it is momentary. It is up to us to make those moments now and then.

This place is more than a gem. It is a diamond! A secret hideout in the future for me to stew my ideas whenever I need some peace and inspiration.

I decided to share its existence on Instagram given the low foot traffic as it deserves to exist as long as it is good, given the many eateries that had bitten the dust in this Covid era.

Are you one?

Summer Lotus 3 days ago 3 min read

Nothing can turn my head like a dog does – not any handsome man or beautiful woman would make me turn around to have a second look but a dog is something else.

Somehow they always look at me too as if quietly wishing that I am in their lives but it was not in our destiny to be entwined.

In the Chinese horoscope, I was born in the year of the dog but I m sure that has nothing to do with me being a dog lover.

It is the nature of dogs that endears me to them. They are loyal, great companions, and instinctive. Their soulful eyes melt me.

I was walking around my estate one late afternoon when I walked past my neighbor and they were talking at the gate to a couple who had a toddler by their side and a little Maltese at his feet.

So cute! I exclaimed but I was actually referring to the doggie and I think the beaming parents were thinking that I referred to their child.

Every time a dog is being walked past by me, I cannot resist making some kissing sounds much to the pleasure or dismay of the walker. It was meant to be a loving gesture.

Some owners are such good trainers that they were able to make their dog pace or even trot so elegantly. It is a sign of a happy owner, happy dog. I aspire to be a good dog trainer for my next canine.

Over the 40 years, we have quite a few dogs successively—2 Staffordshire bull terriers, a golden retriever, and a Shih Tzu. Each had its own trait. The bull terriers were terrifying to the neighborhood and muzzling them was mandatory when walking them. They were admired for their robustness, a good deterring factor to burglars, and feared for their assumed aggression but actually were gentle like lambs.

The golden retriever was an obedient dog and kind to the kittens. She was fanatical about bread. She had subconsciously trained us to give her bread each time when we come home by enthusiastically wagging a tail, going in circles then headed for the bread container and stay put there, looking at us with earnest eyes. How could one resist her request?

Our Shih Tzu was a needy dog. She wanted company all the time and would sit by watching us while we watched TV. She had chosen as her master my husband even though I was the one who adopted her and provided all her creature comforts. Talking about reinforcing the male supremacy complex! She would station by his side and shadowed him wherever he went.

At any rate, our pets were the source of happiness at home. We are utterly besotted with them and am looking forward to a new addition, obviously, a dog when the house is ready. He or She would have to contend with my Cockatoo and 3 cats, the latter entrenched in the home for 15 years. It would be fascinating to watch how they interact and finally accept each other as family.

WRITTEN BYSummer Lotus

Interested in life, curious about everything. Challenge seeker, die-hard enthusiast. Look up www.boundlessdelight.com

Establish this and you will live a fulfilling life

Summer Lotus Oct 26   5 min read

My definition of a mentor

A mentor is someone who is more knowledgeable than me in a particular field or skill and is willing to impart that knowledge to me. He or She is like my personal teacher or counselor and is very generous to share whatever he has to make sure that I can become as capable as him. There is no fee involved.

I have always searched for mentors in my life without my realizing it. That is due to my natural thirst for knowledge and to do things well. But my journey as a mentee started late because I was not a very sociable person and hence my networking circle was small.

I was curious and did go to great lengths to learn. Of course, I remembered hitting some resistance. Not all people were magnanimous after all. As a young dentist in a public institution eons ago, I used to hover around some experienced dentists when they were working to see what they were doing.

Once, I was shooed away and I sensed that the dentist did not want to share his trade secret with me. It happened again at another private clinic where I had the audacity to ask to watch while the dentist was treating her patient but her body language told me that I was not welcome.

Except for those two long-ago incidents, my journey searching for mentors had largely been fruitful. Today, where my career is concerned, I count among my mentors, a prosthodontist, a periodontist, a few oral surgeons who are generous beyond words.

As a general practitioner, my field of work is diverse but in each field, I aimed to do as well as the specialist in that field. This involves humility, patience, persistence, and hard work. Specialists are mostly perfectionists hence I wished that their mentality would rub off on me.

As a mentee, I would show my earnestness to learn, question, and take notes. Humility is an important trait as perfectionists are rarely patient. They have honed their craft to an art level and will not stand to have a common person like me to be slow to imbibe information especially if it is repeated a few times. But I have skin as thick as a hide. I do not fear to incur their wrath as long as I learn and become wiser.

As a mentee, it is important to be persistent and apply whatever that is learned, then sleep and breathe it. Subsequently, I would apply my mentor’s technique to my case and see it come to fruition in my hands. It has been possible. It is not achieved in a quick way but the more one practices it, one will see the light until it becomes second nature.

As a mentee, it would be impressive to go beyond what is taught and work hard, finding new information to discuss with your mentor so that you could contribute instead. If you could jump one step ahead of your mentor from what you have learned elsewhere, that would cement his trust in you that you are a sincere mentee.

I search for mentors in other fields too. In learning Mandarin, I had the good fortune to spot talent among my patients. One day, a young lady walked into my clinic and she was carrying a thick literature book. After the dental treatment, I struck a conversation with her and discovered that she came to Singapore having graduated from Szechuan University of Arts in China and had found work as a cashier in a supermarket. She wanted to experience Singapore culture and pick up English here. But there were few opportunities.

I made a deal with her to meet up twice a week after work. She could teach me Mandarin and I would teach her English. Over a year, we had the most interesting exchange. I learned a lot about Chinese philosophy and stories behind Chinese idioms, improving my Mandarin language by leaps and bounds. She, being an ardent and intelligent girl, chose to read short novels and learned about stories and words pronunciation through me.

In that short span, her English improved tremendously, due to her own diligence too. She would always be my unforgettable mentor, being 33 years younger than me and so learned and enthusiastic about life. She finally left for China after one year where romance beckoned.

I had a mentor for my Japanese language too. I met her by chance at a Toastmasters’ Club meeting where she signed up and wanted to pick up some English but it was difficult for her at the club level. On a personal arrangement, we would meet every week during an extended lunchtime, where we did our exchange.

My mentor would converse with me in Japanese, even preparing notes for me to read. Then I would listen to her read her favorite English article and correct her pronunciation. Another fruitful mentor-mentee relationship had blossomed until she decided that she missed Japan and went home.

At our Toastmasters Club meetings where we honed our communication skills, having a mentor is part of the program. A mentor is usually an experienced Toastmaster who follows Toastmasters guidelines in most of his projects. He then provides counseling to new members whom he is assigned to be a mentor and accepts any requests from a mentee who may need help in his or her speech projects.

My mentors are my fellow members who had given me constructive feedback on my performance and delivery of my speech and its contents. It has been a very profitable experience for me as it benefitted my career as well as personally. Having been in the club for more than 35 years, I have also availed myself to be a mentor to any mentee assigned to me.

The mentor-mentee relationship and importance cannot be over-emphasized especially where it comes to communication skills, the bedrock of all your successes in life. The program is so helpful because it is based on a very detailed and structured way to advise, encourage, and motivate the speaker that one can only get better with practice.

Senior members have a wealth of experience to impart to the younger members. The latter in turn would become mentors to new members who join the club to hone their communication skills. The fact that we are all from diverse backgrounds, interests, and careers with a common goal of helping each other is of immense benefit not much experienced outside this club.

Learning is one of the most meaningful and interesting things to do in life. Without the thirst to know and be enlightened, I can imagine boring days ahead. When one delves into a subject wholeheartedly, it opens up a whole new world of opportunities. You become a better person, more understanding, more skilled, more confident, happier, and an interesting human being.

That is the gist of living. To learn, then to give back, and grow together. You look for a mentor and be a good, responsible mentee. You also become a good and responsible mentor to any keen mentee. The circle is never broken and life is truly fulfilling.

“Better a thousand days of diligent study is one great day with a mentor” — Japanese proverb

Four ways to deal with it and quit whining!

Summer Lotus Oct 25 5 min read

The title was inspired by the 2020 James Bond movie “No time to die” that has been delayed to be released in 2021. This is one of the blows dealt by the Covid-19 pandemic to the despair of many movie buffs. Despite the negative news that reverberates around the whole world, causing anxiety, depression, anger, and other associated pessimistic emotions, remember this, we all will die but we should have no time to die.

Life is exquisitely beautiful. Why?

1 ) We must count our blessings.

Look at the talents of human beings. We have evolved tremendously. From architecture to food to technology, our lives have gotten more convenient and more exciting because innovations are ongoing. Because of the interconnected world, we are able to savor the different cultures and ideas from all parts of the world and adopt them into our daily lives.

For example, you are now accessible to any information you want and be able to create and innovate. You could be the best baker, the most creative shop owner, the most unique designer if you seek information, far and wide from the ubiquitous internet, and work on your aspirations. You could launch a second career and excel in anything you put your focus on.

Nothing can get one down these days. Missed traveling? Well, there is Youtube for you to watch and note down your desired destinations for the future. You can learn a foreign language in under 72 hours from an app on your mobile. You could make new friends on social media but be mindful of scams. You can get in touch with anyone in the world using the zoom, Microsoft team without incurring a cent.

Experiencing lockdown in your part of the country? You may purchase products online and have them delivered to your doorstep. Governments have already figured this out to ensure there is some semblance of normalcy so bashing the government too much is not helpful. They want to get on with their lives too.

The options are limitless.

“What seems to us bitter trials are blessings in disguise” — Oscar Wilde

2) Keep positive even when the world seems so messed-up

For countries that seem to be undergoing massive upheavals whether social or political or economic factors, they have to sort out themselves. No amount of anxiety and hand-wringing by us can solve their problems. Things always get worse before they get better. I see people who are so affected by news in far ends of the world that their own lives are drastically affected. Especially mental healthwise. We should sort the troubles at hand and in our country’s backyard.

Human beings still help others in ways big or small to alleviate the problems of poverty and suffering. That is comforting because there are always good people. We should chip in where we can.

There is just too much negative news that floats round to think that doomsday is imminent. When a crisis ends, a new one will appear anyway so one has to remain upbeat always. History testifies to this recurring phenomenon. Think only in terms of solutions not tragedies.

“Keep looking up. It is the secret of life.” — Charlie Brown

3 ) Enjoy each day to the fullest

Memento Mori. — It is a Latin phrase meaning “Remember you must die” As this is a given, let’s not waste precious time on earth worrying about things you cannot control.

Because you must die, it means there is really no time to die, so to speak. Things need a sense of urgency to get them done, especially if they are good for your well-being and survival. Under this umbrella, I refer to important relationships to mend, critical tasks you need to do to bring your progress to the next level, and your health issues to fix.

Amongst this list of “To Do”, do not forget to slow down at the real moments. When the sun sets, it is a signal that work should be wound down and your leisure begins. It is noticing the myriad mix of flowers and plants around you and marvel at their creation. It is taking in the sights of the sceneries, architecture, the different taste sensations that you can savor to remind yourself that you should live and be inspired and thereafter inspire others.

4) Love and Laugh often

Love the people around you. Extend kind words and help if you can and it will surely come back to you many times. It is the law of cause and effect.

Look at situations from different angles and laugh at their weirdness, their absurdity, and positivity. One more reason to laugh and one more article to write for your speech project.

According to psychologytoday.com, there are 5 science-based reasons why laughter is the best medicine.

1 Laughter releases feel-good hormones called endorphins that can lift your mood. It also activates the release of serotonin that has an anti-depressive effect.

2 Contagious laughter form social bonds — When one laughs in a group, it is likely that others would laugh too as laughter is infectious and can promote a sense of unity and togetherness.

3 Laughter fosters brain connectivity — it is a good workout for the brain as it decodes the different types of laughter to understand what is really communicated. For example, joyous laughter is different from taunting laughter.

4 Laughter is central to relationships — Women rate this trait high when looking for a mate, men appreciate women who would laugh at their jokes.

5 Laughter protects your heart — It has an anti-inflammatory effect that protects your blood vessels and your cardiovascular system though how it works is not clear. However, it definitely reduces stress.

In conclusion, watching people in these extraordinary times has made me realize that many people are frittering their lives away lamenting, worrying, and fighting their mental battles. Getting aggressive, reacting senselessly is a vicious cycle of wasting away a good life, sucked up by the events that are beyond our control.

Trust and leave to the astute, relevant authorities who are more eager and enthusiastic than you can imagine to deal with the challenges of the time. Meanwhile, each of us, ordinary beings should heed all the sensible guidelines and co-operate to make this world more peaceful and livable. Do not allow yourselves to disintegrate along with the increasingly negative news that abounds. Together, we make a stronger world after this crisis.

WRITTEN BYSummer Lotus

Interested in life, curious about everything. Challenge seeker, die-hard enthusiast. Look up www.boundlessdelight.com

Don’t let fear prevent you from making a good choice.

Summer Lotus 2 days ago 4 min read

When most patients hear of the word ‘implant’, they are immediately fearful. The image of a drill boring holes through their gums into the bone and putting a ‘screw’ in the jaw is too mechanical for their liking.

If they are willing to listen and find out more about the benefits of dental implants, their perception would be changed.

Dental implants have evolved tremendously. Today’s advances in medical and dental science have allowed dental implants to be inserted in a predictably successful manner.

Consequences of tooth loss.

Teeth loss may be due to fracture because of large restorations, gross decay, gum disease, or heavy biting. The effects of tooth loss may or may not be evident.

1. Speech impediment – loss of front teeth may result in difficulty in the pronunciation of certain words or cause lisping. Appearance is also affected.
2. Biting efficiency – when a tooth is lost, the opposite tooth becomes non- functional. The load of biting forces is distributed over a smaller surface area of the teeth resulting in greater masticatory force over existing teeth. This may result in chipped tooth/ fillings.
3. Effects on surrounding teeth. The opposing tooth may over-erupt locking the bite. The adjacent teeth may also tilt into the space.
4. Effect on bone after tooth loss. – Bone resorbs with time. In some cases, the ridge becomes knife-edged. To have a suitable size implant fixture inserted may require a bone graft procedure.

Why use a dental implant to replace a missing tooth or teeth

Conventionally, a missing tooth is replaced with a denture or bridge.

A denture is a removable prosthesis with the disadvantage of having to remove it often for cleaning. It also poses risks to other teeth as it needs to anchor on them for stability and retention. A small denture also risks being swallowed and impedes speech in some people.

A bridge is a series of crowns that are joined together and cemented over existing, neighboring teeth called abutments.

It is not recommended to bridge over good sound teeth, in which case implant is the best option.

A tooth implant is now a popular choice. The concept of implants dated back thousands of years with proof of human remains containing various forms of implants of different materials. It was Prof Branemark, a Swedish physician and researcher who discovered fusion between titanium and animal bone, a process called Osseointegration.

In 1965, he put the first dental implant in a volunteer that lasted 40 years. Since then, it has evolved into an amazing choice for people who have lost teeth and are able to enjoy the lifestyle that they had before.

There are many brands in the market producing dental implant fixtures and their design have been modified over the years to improve osseointegration of implants to the bone which include increased strength, reduce plaque build-up, operator-friendly features, et cetera.

Advantages of a tooth implant.

1 All titanium implants osseointegrate and the rate of long term success is very high.

2 This is the closest to having the natural tooth restored — -Speech, Aesthetics, self-confidence, and mastication will not be impacted.

3 Tooth implant material is compatible with the oral tissues, of great strength, and resistant to decay.

Ingredients for success

1 Case Selection — Some patients are not suitable for implants due to their medical history that contraindicates implants insertion. Patients on Forsemax for Osteoporosis may have compromised healing. Poor bone quality must be treated with great care and patience.

Prognosis may be guarded for some patients due to lifestyle habits like smoking or excessive grinding of teeth. The latter can be treated with a nightguard to prevent damage to teeth and implants.

2 Operator Skill- Careful diagnosis and planning go a long way to ensure a successful implant procedure.

3 Post-implant care — Patients should understand that the implant may not be susceptible to decay and resistant to heavy bite but it is still prone to gum disease that can destroy the supporting structures of the implant such as the bone resulting in the implant being loosened. Hence good Oral hygiene is key.

4 Long term maintenance — Regular check-ups and prophylaxis of teeth are advisable.

Today’s advances in technology and dental science have allowed the precise placing of implant fixtures and repair of lost bone. The patient’s lifestyle is restored or improved with the availability of dental implants. This is good news to many people of all ages who have feared the replacement of teeth and suffered the inconveniences of wearing dentures as well as having good teeth trimmed to have a bridge done.