Archives for August 2020

An Ode To Real Dark Chocolate Cake

Summer Lotus Aug 28 · 2 min read

I have been thinking about it for the last few hours.

Should I just go to buy and eat it to my heart’s content?

Or should I just show some power of resisting this temptation?

I came up with a myriad of reasons;

• Life is short, just enjoy it.
• I will be a happier person
• What a nice way to end the workday.
• I will be inspired by the cake and maybe learn to make it.
• I should be more kind to myself.
• I am a saver, so this cake that cost like a meal shouldn’t break my bank.
• This cake is worth it!
• It helps me to think better.
• I am going to write and what better way than to eat a cake first.
• I am healthy enough to eat cakes.
• I am a dentist so sweet stuff will not hurt me.
• I should just treasure this opportunity!

Finally, I made this onerous decision. I bought a slice of the real dark chocolate cake to be eaten in the cafeteria. Along with my Green Rooibos tea, it was an awesome combination. I had a truly delectable time.

The cake was so moist and I feasted my eyes on the brown shiny crumbs held so well together, encased by the velvety chocolatey cream.

The neat cake slice stood tall and firm like an elegant model as I sliced through it, my mouth watering simultaneously.

When its richness reached my mouth, my taste buds tingled and my mind rang out ‘fabulous’!

This led to more deft strokes from my knife and the fork as I devoured the dainty brown maiden, at the same time feeling sad that it would be finally vanquished.

The Rooibos tea warmed me up and I felt comfortable as the cake had good company at least, traversing the long gullet of the journey to be assimilated and disseminated with the purpose of energizing the body. I have ascended to food heaven and I am ready…to live life with more vigor.

It’s nightfall, work was done and I am ready for any challenges.

Real Dark Chocolate Cake.

This is a good temptation and I surrender to it.

“Make Life Happen With A Slice of Real Chocolate Cake”!

Well said by Ryan Holiday but doing it takes grit.

Summer LotusAug 19 · 4 min read

The obstacles were in my way. I could not get out of my own way. I had a lot of difficulties negotiating them because of myself. Nobody could stop me if I wanted to achieve something but first I needed to get over myself.

So what were my problems? After some analysis, I could classify my barriers;

1) I am not organized enough

2) I am not committed enough

3) I am not persistent enough

I decided to do it my way.

1)Not Organized enough

If you have the opportunity to be in a surgeon’s clinic who does predominantly surgery, you would know what I mean.

Everything on the surgical table- each instrument serves a purpose. The working top is clean and cleansed. The ambiance is bright and brilliant.

That is why a surgeon can be so focused. He delivers the offending structure with military precision.

Looking at my own table with a thousand ambitions, I knew it’s hard to go deep into anything as the table looks disorganized with many targets. To excel in one goal to the max could be difficult because of the dilution of focus.

My Solution – To focus on fewer goals but I am not one to zero in on only one as I believe aiming for more makes me multidimensional.

Getting organized with the details would help me.

2) Not committed enough.

here were many things that I started but they never took off.

Results from dipping my fingers into too many pies.

I learned flute at one point because I was enamored with James Galway the consummate flutist but I never got beyond level 3. I learned the Japanese Language but never got to Level 1 for full certification.

My excuse was that my flute teacher had emigrated to the US so I had to stop. I had found some teachers among my patients who could take me through but I did not follow through. It was my excuse.

Today the flute is waiting to be sold. My Japanese Language books remain unread.

However, I have no regrets as it was a learning journey for me and while I was at it, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I understand that there is a steep learning curve when acquiring a new skill or knowledge. Once you have hit a certain peak, it does get easier but I need to be committed and resolved to carry my goals further.

My philosophy- You need not commit to everything you are interested in. Some will fall by the wayside. I believe that one must savor a variety of interests and become committed to a few. I need to work harder if I want to master them.

3 ) Not persistent enough.

I had a treadmill that was bought years ago but I can count the number of times I have used it.

I wanted to keep my weight constant which is a mean feat as the weight keeps climbing with age. It’s Nature’s way of telling us to slow down. Loving high-calorie food like cakes did not help.to

I did not have enough fire in my belly but I have rolls of fat and that is due to my lack of persistence.

Tonight, I fought to overcome it. I simply pushed myself to lower the running platform, switch on the machine, put on the shoes, and press start. Very soon, perspiration trickled down the sides of my face and my back.

I believe I would do this again tomorrow and the day after and eventually every day. Well, I know it’s all up to me.

I often used the slogan by Nike “Just do it” and did it tonight. This action has to be repeated and only I can help myself.

In any case, I Am Optimistic enough. I had started telling myself to think positive and see the good in every event. I noticed this change in myself over the last few years. Optimism is my prime over.

In this pandemic, living and working under some form of restrictions, I have set my aim to overcome these three obstacles.

Knowing my obstacles helps me to tackle them and make me feel happier and fulfilled. Just stay positive- from time immemorial, crises have come and gone. These are ways to adapt and evolve with the current times.

Work at your obstacles and get out of your own way!

I am glad that I have gone to see him before it was too late.

Summer LotusAug 16 · 5 min read

My 80-year-old eldest brother passed on the next day after I visited him the evening before.

Due to COVID-19 restrictions, I have been unable to visit him for the last three months as he languished in the ward due to his delusional state of mind caused by dementia.

I have heard from his daughter that he put up a struggle being confined to the bed as he was uncooperative. No matter how state of the art the facilities are at the hospital, there was no way to pacify him. Medicine dulled his aggression and senses and it was also for his safety. Nobody could understand how the mind works.

Dementia is a terrible disease, causing an alteration in his perception of events and deterioration in his good nature. I felt pain for him as he was an active man all his life and generally positive. Not being able to visit him pained me further beyond words.

3 months later, on August 13th, I was informed that he was transferred to a long stay ward and I could be nominated to visit him. I decided to go straight to the hospital.

I had deliberated upon whether I should visit him after my niece told me that he had been uncommunicative and generally asleep as if in a semi-coma. My real fear was the reality of facing a dying man who was my beloved brother whom I had got to know better for the last ten years after his forced retirement. I have come to understand, love, and cherished him. Yet, I was torn by the fact that if I missed this opportunity, I would forever be a coward unable to face my mortality. So the decision to go immediately.

Ten years ago, the government took away his license to teach as a driving instructor citing that he was too old. My brother was still fit mentally and physically and he was quite distraught with the loss of purpose and financial independence.

All his life, he had worked hard though he never made much money. But his passion and principles of doing his job well left him with many friends who respected his work ethics.

In his earlier years, he had gone through lean times with my parents back in the forties and fifties when Singapore was an island. I heard from my older sister that they have gone to pick up many used milk cans and sold the tins for a few cents each to gain some allowance.

He worked briefly in a media company as a young man after finishing school, entered into a business partnership that failed, and finally settled to teach driving which became his passion. All this while, the vicissitudes of life which I am sure were many never got him down at least that was my experience with him talking to him.

When he lost his job and he was visibly lost, I made it my mission to make life different and happy for him. We started to travel with my other siblings as well.

As I approached the bed, I saw my brother curled up on the bed, breathing through a respirator, his eyes were partially shut. The creases on his suntanned skin were gone, his facial muscles relaxed. I believed he could still hear me although his motor responses were impaired.

At one point, he showed some alertness. That was when I quickly held my brother’s hand and said a prayer for him asking him to communicate with God in his heart and to seek his peace with God.

I also asked him to think of all the wonderful times we had as siblings traveling together often since his retirement, watching movies regularly, and having frequent lovely meals together.

That was what I wanted to him to focus on — good times and memories. Who has room and time for any more negativity? Only wonderful thoughts should prevail.

The innumerable photos attested to all the great times we had. He was a nice person to travel with — no complaints, easy on food and lodging and always watching out for us. He was considerate and caring. One time, I was late for boarding, he had waited for me at the boarding gate although my other sibling had boarded the plane. He said he would not leave without me.

We had covered more than 10 destinations, mostly in Asia and Australia. The last trip to Shenzhen and Hong Kong when he was almost 80 was evident that traveling was getting too cumbersome for him but he still enjoyed to the best of his ability. He was such a good sport.

My brother ended his journey the following day after my first and last visit to the hospital and I always suspected that he had waited for me. It was time to let go. He had a serious bout of illness before which he overcame many years ago with determination and discipline but this time, Death was certain.

But Death did not triumph. My brother had triumphed. Because in living longer, he had shown me how he overcame more adversities that one could count and I had witnessed him savor life every day even when his work was taken away.

‘The song is ended but the melody lingers on’ — -Irving Berlin

Each day was a purposeful one. He continued to keep himself fit though his sports went from active badminton to jogging to slow walk in his final year.

He continued to visit his friends as they departed one by one.

He continued to smile and laugh at the smallest thing and always expressed gratitude for the enjoyment he could have.

Death was certain and necessary for this world to move forward as it always has been and will be ever-present. His departure was a renewal for us, a reminder that Life is precious, a reminder to live it fully and with purpose no matter the circumstances. Everything is temporal but live it meaningfully.

As the quote goes, “ Death smiles at us and we can only smile back”. We learn that this is not the best that we can do. We can smile back if we find peace within ourselves with God and with a positive attitude.

There is so much to do in our lives that we not only smile but laugh when the time comes.

We learn that we must make good memories by being our best selves and treasure the lovely times so that all these will fill our minds and spirits and still leave the rest something to reminisce about.

More foreigners are learning Chinese and enjoying immense benefits.

Summer LotusAug 17 · 6 min read

Chinese Idioms and phrases always amaze me. When I was younger, I was never interested in the Chinese language. I am a pure Chinese and my father hailed from the Fujian province of China while my mother was Chinese and came from Indonesia.

The characters of the language always stumped me. The use of Singapore Chinese characters before 1969 was first traditional and was very complex. One can hardly remember all the strokes. It requires a really diligent person to excel in Chinese. After 1969, there was simplification and eventually, after 1976, Singapore fully adopted the simplified Chinese Characters of the Republic of China. Even with this, it can be a challenge to learning Chinese.

Ironically, my father was a Chinese teacher in a pure Chinese-speaking school. For some reason, out of seven siblings, my parents sent three brothers and one sister to the Chinese school where he taught while he sent another brother, my eldest sister, and myself to a neighborhood English speaking school. Talking about not putting all your eggs in one basket.

Studying is like sailing against the current: a boat must forge ahead or it will be swept downstream.—– A Chinese quote

In my home, we conversed in both languages besides our native dialect which was Hakka. Whoever dominates the conversation with the language ended up speaking the language he or she is schooled in. I spoke with my Chinese Speaking siblings in Chinese but spoke in English with the rest of the siblings who studied in English schools. It was natural that those who were Chinese schooled did not improve in English.

When it came to Chinese, though I was conversant at a basic level and understand it. However, the writing was a hurdle. I did not really love the learning of it hence it meant a very low score for this subject in school. I was very impressed with my fellow classmates who could recite Chinese poetry and wrote essays beautifully while my essay was peppered with blanks and totally incoherent.

When my love for learning Chinese began

The love for learning Chinese came late in my life. It was after I met my patient from China who came for dental treatment about two years ago. Her name was Jean and she graduated from Sichuan University in China. I saw her carrying a thick literature book and was impressed.

From our brief conversation after the dental treatment, I found that she came to Singapore to experience her culture and pick up English. Though her English was halting, her Chinese was polished. She worked as a cashier at the Supermarket and the work did not give her many opportunities for learning the language so I offered to coach her English if she did the same for me in Mandarin.

Then began a year of mutual tutoring twice a week after work until her work contract ended and Jean went back to China. She was a good teacher. While I focused on her reading and pronunciation which was her main concern, she focused on my assimilation of her teaching of Chinese sayings and stories behind the idioms. That fascinated me so much, I continued to study on my own with the help of the language apps which she introduced to me as well as watching Chinese dramas on Youtube.

What fascinated me about Chinese idioms? They are called 成语‘Cheng Yu’ and typically consist of four characters but maybe more. They convey so much meaning and may be derived from an ancient myth, story, or historical fact. There are thousands of them and is a wonderful way to understand Chinese culture.

A) Interesting idioms with a story behind them

1)The idiom 守株待兔 literally means “to wait for the hares”. It is a metaphor for those who wish to make gains without working and always dream of having windfalls.

The story was about a farmer who plowed on a field. One day, a hare scuttled past him and accidentally knocked into a tree and died. The farmer brought the hare home and turned it into a delicious meal.

Since then, the farmer refused to tend to his land and waited at the tree for free ‘dinner’. The hare never appeared his way again. Meanwhile, his field became overgrown with weeds. When the neighbors came to find out why he had stopped work and abandoned the field, they laughed at his stupidity.

This phrase is used when describing a situation that requires one to work and not idle. For example in a conversation, one may say, “世界上 没有 那么多 守株待兔 的 事情”. That means “There are not so many pleasant things as windfalls.”

Example 2; “找工作 不能 守株待兔，要 主动寻找 机会” It means “One shouldn’t expect to get a job by waiting but be proactive”.

2)The idiom杞人忧天 is to describe someone who has irrational fears. How did this phrase come about?

In ancient times, there was a small country called Qi and there lived a man who was very fearful. He was terrified by situations such as a strong wind, even the sight of a bird falling to the ground was a shock to him. He asked the passers-by if the sky would fall but they ignored him. He thought they were mad.

He hid in his home as he feared that the sky would fall on him. One day, someone told him that it would not happen and he went out one night for a stroll. He witnessed a shooting star and thought that the sky, moon, and stars were falling. This man had imaginary and groundless fears

When used in conversations, the following sentences are examples:

Someone says, “你 不必 杞人忧天，生活中 没有 那么多 坏事” It means, “Don’t worry too much. Life isn’t all about bad things”.

她总是 担心 世界 毁灭，简直是 杞人忧天。She worries about the world coming to an end, that is indeed a groundless fear.

That is the beauty of the Chinese language for me. It explains the situation, describes a person in not too many words but knowing the background story or the origin leads to easier use when the occasion calls.

B ) Some idioms paint a situation in an indirect way and yet convey deep meaning.

1)调虎离山 literally means to lure a tiger out of the mountain. This expression is employed when someone uses tricks to make the opposite party leave the original location so that you could make use of the opportunity to achieve your objective.

2) 打草惊蛇 literally means to beat the grass and frighten the snake. As a strategy, it means to act rashly and alert the enemy.

Such colorful ways of expressions are not only enlightening and elegant, but it also elevates the standard of spoken and written Chinese which makes the language so alluring.

C ) Idioms that have an imaginative way of describing a situation without saying plainly A is A or B is B.

1. 上梁不正下梁歪—If the upper beam is not straight, the lower beam will be crooked will not make any sense when translated. However, when spoken in Chinese, it is used to refer to a situation where the upper level or a senior who should have an exemplary role and does not have one. As a result, his juniors or followers would follow suit and do things as unethical or wrong as the senior or person with authority.

2) 不进一家门不是一家人 — -Awkwardly translated as if you don’t enter the same house, you are not family. The English equivalent of this is ‘Birds of the same feather, flock together’. Often, it is used to refer to people from the same family or group who display the same attitudes or traits and may have a sarcastic undertone.

This language continues to enthrall me.

D ) Even English idioms have their expressions in Chinese.

1. 一箭双雕 comes from the expression ‘Kill two birds with one stone’. Here the stone is replaced by the arrow and it means to accomplish two goals with one task.
2. 人不可貌相 is the Chinese equivalent of ‘You can’t judge a book by its cover’. It means you do not judge a person by his or her look. This is to advise that we do not make shallow judgements at face value of something.

Chinese is a marvelous language just like our languages. There is a misconception that Chinese is hard to learn. All languages and for that matter, all skills are difficult to master if you do not have a burning interest in the first place.

Many foreigners are picking up this language and some even choose to stay in China to immerse themselves in the learning. It is not surprising, given the rise of China as a world economic superpower.

Picking up Chinese is very easy. Master the basics and root of the verb which is the base form of the verb. When conjugated, it can form another verb. Understanding how words are derived and how some phrases have stories behind them help in learning Chinese.

Try learning Chinese and find your life enriched in a thousand ways by the thousands of idioms.

Read more at Medium– Summer Lotus@rosalindho

Life is wonderful because of Art

Art is powerful and I have been dabbling in art unknowingly.

Music is an art.

Listening to music is what drives me to work smoothly as a dentist. I always play instrumental or classical music in my clinic’s background and it has become indispensable. Somehow, my fingers became defter as I work on the teeth and I do identify myself with the artist though dentistry is a science. My work is art when I realized it!

Patients usually drift off to sleep too, with their mouth still open of course!

Writing is an art. It is also a cathartic action. It allows me to dive deep into my past and elicit all the emotions related to significant events. Even mundane ones could provide lessons from which I learn how to become a better person. I am glad to have discovered writing as a hobby.

I became aware of how my words should flow so that they are congruent with my thoughts and best expressed in a way that benefits those who read them. Words have power!

Speaking is an art. Some people have a way with words. I am currently interested in the rhetorical devices employed by famous speakers. I am enthralled by their communication skills which are so fluid and arresting. Their speaking is not only congruent with their body language and facial expressions but the choice of words and phrases is highly compatible with the issue as well. If what is said is backed by evidence, the speech is a winning one.

Speaking can move others into positive action. It can inspire, persuade, and inform. It is integral for personal and career success when one can communicate effectively

Cooking is an art. I see that in my domestic helper. How she would prepare all the ingredients with great patience and skill. It is a display of art, looking at the various colors evoked by the presence of Chili, turmeric, onions, garlic, spring onions, carrots, et cetera. As she indulged in her daily chores, she had shown great patience and love for the art of Cooking.

Over the years, she has morphed into such a good cook, I called her my Michelin star chef. She has elevated cooking to an art level and it has made eating out a non-event. She even inspired me to create two e-books online.

Living is an art. A life that is well-lived and successful is one that I define as appreciating life, taking on the challenges of each day with a calm mind and a positive attitude. It is about presenting our best in everything that we do and exceeding our expectations. It is living in harmony with others and interacting with each other to enrich mutually. Life has so many interesting facets. You can find art and soul in all your activities.

You use a Glass Mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul — George Bernard Shaw

I am very glad to discover art in the sciences. As a science student and an introvert, my world was a parochial one. I speak for myself in this aspect. The options were narrow because my exposure was limited. But as I opened up to experiencing life, so did my appreciation of living each day increases.

What has helped me? Just three activities benefit me immensely.

1 Travelling is one of the most important growth factors in my life. Having traveled to many countries, I have a better understanding of their life-styles, cultures, food, people, and philosophies. It makes me a more tolerant person. One learns about mutual respect and how each culture has its strengths that we can adopt.

For example, in Japan which is my top destination, I discovered why they have hardly any litter bins and yet the streets are spotless. From young, they were instilled with the discipline to carry their trash with them to dispose of.

“Mochi-kaeri” means “Bring home”. Indeed, the Japanese are so particular about trash, they had long ago divided their trash into “burnable” and “non-burnable” and recyclable. In some places, it is divided into Singapore adopted this discipline just a few years ago.

In the subway, people do not speak out of respect for others to have a quiet traveling time. However, they are allowed to eat as many Japanese spent time commuting to work and may miss their breakfast. Their train cabins are never littered despite meals being allowed.

2 Social Interaction is another important activity. Being an introvert, I started to meet people and became involved in clubs like Toastmasters Club to widen my network of friends and also to improve my communication skills. I have been a member for over thirty years. I attribute my appreciation of life to this activity that has honed my art of speaking over the years.

Interacting with people can be challenging as each of us can be opinionated and has our unique characteristics, be they annoying or not. I believed that everyone has a talent we can learn from, a trait that we can emulate. Generally, I prefer friends who are honest, sincere, forgiving, and knowledgeable. There is much fun to be had with the right people and I no longer believe in being an introvert.

3 Reading and Writing is my current passion. I was never an avid reader but through a stroke of good luck and probably due to the need to write a speech for Toastmaster’s project, I stumbled upon Medium. My world opened up to all the gems of ideas from good authors and all the positive thoughts that I had derived from reading their works. It has led me to write articles that I never thought I could.

The world of reading, in particular, is a form of traveling.

To see the world through another person’s perspective as one is not able to cover so many destinations in our lifetime. To experience the joys and sorrows and understand the problems and solutions through reading is an enrichment to one’s life. To read about an artist’s accomplishments whether it is music, novels or painting is an important pause for our hurried lives.

In short, it makes a person smarter by becoming a prolific reader.

Lose yourself and find yourself at the same time in Art. It is undoubtedly the most important aspect of our lives that many overlook, in the pursuit of career success, money, and materialism. 

Art is Life and Art is true Peace.

Be mindful……..they do work!

Summer Lotus Aug 10 · 5 min read

We all want a nice working environment with pleasant colleagues who are helpful, efficient, and understanding. But in the world of constant flux, this nice scenario does not last. That is left to yourself to change and adapt to the new setting. As they say, change what you can control.

It is often related to a person’s character flaws and traits. Being aware of them would go a long way to achieving peace and harmony in the workplace.

1 Control your emotions— This is probably the most destructive of all emotions. Being impulsive and prone to anger. Anger only muddles your mind and provokes others. There is no incident that cannot be alleviated when one cool down, assess, and analyze.

It may be the other party who blows his or her top. Let no one anger you.

Personal outbursts may be that, personal. They could be having a bad start in the day. But some people carry this around like an albatross around their necks and hurt themselves and their relationships. They carry their crummy mood to work and offload on others like the proverbial man who goes home to kick his dog after a stressful day.

So lock up your problems when you leave home and not carry your mood to your office and vice versa.

2 Expect to be bullied until you prove yourself.

Life is such. It is a discriminatory world. You will be discriminated whether you are young or old, rich or poor, tall or short, good looking or not, white or colored, etc. There will be people who will not have anything good to say but then the onus is on you to ignore. Prove it in what matters — -your work.

The only way is to be hard-working, amicable, and humble. Know your work well and nothing can be held against you. Be friendly and approachable. Be teachable and seek out those who love to mentor others.

Only when you excel in your arena, will there be a legion of fans. People like winners and when you share, everyone wins. There should be no bitterness.

3. Have the right mindset —The wrong mindset can impede your progress as a boss or employee;

Eg 1of a wrong mindset is a fixed mindset thinking that only you have all the solutions because of your age or training or exposure. That is certainly an archaic approach. A fixed mindset would leave others thinking you are inflexible and difficult to deal with. More so, in today’s informative world, the options are abundant and not everyone may know so many. Be open to fresh ideas.

Ever since I engaged two young students as my part-time dental assistants, I am greatly enlightened. By their suggestions and ideas. I know where their strengths lie. They could rectify hiccups very fast, anything that is related to computers for example. They are fast and eager to learn if engaged in an interesting manner.

Eg 2 of a wrong mindset is a performance mindset, thinking only about bottom-line. This can result in short-cuts when delivering your product or services. I prefer a contemplative mindset where one is not just focused on the goal but the process. A contemplative mindset considers the journey rather than the destination ensuring that it is smooth and provides learning at the same time. It is for the long haul. Considerations such as:

Is everyone enjoying what they are doing?

If not, how to make it more enjoyable?

Is there a smarter and shorter way to achieve work done?

There should be a cause for celebration when work is well done and the mission is accomplished. Colleagues should be commended, encouraged to strive harder, and share success stories with others. The ultimate good is for the company which will benefit everyone in return.

Even when one is short of the target, if you can get this far, you will surely reach it another time.

4 Be patient—A lot of unhappiness results from expectations, not met. Slow down, Boss, or colleague. Some people take time to prove themselves. maybe your instructions are not clear

Understand human behavior and what motivates it. — Most thrive on praise. Catch others doing the right things. Praise opens doors and it is a good chance to get in on some recommendations for improvement just like evaluating a speech. There are bound to be some flaws that should be highlighted.

Lazy ones need a kick in the butt but given a second chance. The chronic, irredeemable ones should be given the boot. When they go somewhere else, Society will know how to teach them to pull up their bootstraps.

With my young assistants, I tried not to raise any mistakes in front of others. Gentle strokes for all folks. When it is a big mistake, it is also gently mentioned. I work on the premise that people are sincerely there to please others and themselves and they will try if LAziness is not genetically engraved in their bones. I believe you giving others time to adjust to their new roles.

Time and patience are the greatest virtues

Now, they have proven to be steady and dependable.

5 Have an Exemplary behavior —Whether as a boss or a colleague, if you do not want any unhappiness working with others, fulfill your promise if you have made any. Have a good reason if you did not. Be punctual, orderly, and smile. The latter is the most disarming weapon you can have.

6 Overcome human obstacles — Despite all that you have set a good example, you still can’t stop the idle gossip. Instead of feeling upset about that, it is more profitable to spend time improving on the knowledge or skill that you have put on a back burner. Discussing someone else’s shortcomings when it has no bearing on your work is an utter waste of time. Especially if that someone is not receptive to any recommendation or help.

I often overheard in the lift about people talking about their colleagues’ performance. If you know you are doing your best, be immune to gossips as you can’t stop other mouths. If you find out what your shortcomings are, work on them and the gossips would stop. It is so simple.

A wise man once said, ‘Do not ask what is a good man. Be one’.

7 Listen, then ask to be listened out

Most conflicts persist because people try to get on top of each other to defend themselves. If one is drawn into a dispute, hear out the other person totally first. Then ask for your turn to speak.

Toastmasters have prepared us to speak off the cuff and in an organized manner. Moreover, we also cover the art of persuasion in many projects. Be amazed at how you can turn the discussion in your favor.

If you are wrong, admit that it is your fault with an apology and assurance that it will not repeat.

Human interaction is complex because we are complex beings. The office can be a wonderful place for networking, building long term relationships, learning, and achieving one’s goals. It is a place of fulfillment and happiness if people can be more aware and cultivate soft skills and not just result-driven.

A peaceful and harmonious environment allows goals to be easily attained.