SUMMER LOTUS

Be mindful……..they do work!

Summer Lotus Aug 10 · 5 min read

We all want a nice working environment with pleasant colleagues who are helpful, efficient, and understanding. But in the world of constant flux, this nice scenario does not last. That is left to yourself to change and adapt to the new setting. As they say, change what you can control.

It is often related to a person’s character flaws and traits. Being aware of them would go a long way to achieving peace and harmony in the workplace.

1 Control your emotions— This is probably the most destructive of all emotions. Being impulsive and prone to anger. Anger only muddles your mind and provokes others. There is no incident that cannot be alleviated when one cool down, assess, and analyze.

It may be the other party who blows his or her top. Let no one anger you.

Personal outbursts may be that, personal. They could be having a bad start in the day. But some people carry this around like an albatross around their necks and hurt themselves and their relationships. They carry their crummy mood to work and offload on others like the proverbial man who goes home to kick his dog after a stressful day.

So lock up your problems when you leave home and not carry your mood to your office and vice versa.

2 Expect to be bullied until you prove yourself.

Life is such. It is a discriminatory world. You will be discriminated whether you are young or old, rich or poor, tall or short, good looking or not, white or colored, etc. There will be people who will not have anything good to say but then the onus is on you to ignore. Prove it in what matters — -your work.

The only way is to be hard-working, amicable, and humble. Know your work well and nothing can be held against you. Be friendly and approachable. Be teachable and seek out those who love to mentor others.

Only when you excel in your arena, will there be a legion of fans. People like winners and when you share, everyone wins. There should be no bitterness.

3. Have the right mindset —The wrong mindset can impede your progress as a boss or employee;

Eg 1of a wrong mindset is a fixed mindset thinking that only you have all the solutions because of your age or training or exposure. That is certainly an archaic approach. A fixed mindset would leave others thinking you are inflexible and difficult to deal with. More so, in today’s informative world, the options are abundant and not everyone may know so many. Be open to fresh ideas.

Ever since I engaged two young students as my part-time dental assistants, I am greatly enlightened. By their suggestions and ideas. I know where their strengths lie. They could rectify hiccups very fast, anything that is related to computers for example. They are fast and eager to learn if engaged in an interesting manner.

Eg 2 of a wrong mindset is a performance mindset, thinking only about bottom-line. This can result in short-cuts when delivering your product or services. I prefer a contemplative mindset where one is not just focused on the goal but the process. A contemplative mindset considers the journey rather than the destination ensuring that it is smooth and provides learning at the same time. It is for the long haul. Considerations such as:

Is everyone enjoying what they are doing?

If not, how to make it more enjoyable?

Is there a smarter and shorter way to achieve work done?

There should be a cause for celebration when work is well done and the mission is accomplished. Colleagues should be commended, encouraged to strive harder, and share success stories with others. The ultimate good is for the company which will benefit everyone in return.

Even when one is short of the target, if you can get this far, you will surely reach it another time.

4 Be patient—A lot of unhappiness results from expectations, not met. Slow down, Boss, or colleague. Some people take time to prove themselves. maybe your instructions are not clear

Understand human behavior and what motivates it. — Most thrive on praise. Catch others doing the right things. Praise opens doors and it is a good chance to get in on some recommendations for improvement just like evaluating a speech. There are bound to be some flaws that should be highlighted.

Lazy ones need a kick in the butt but given a second chance. The chronic, irredeemable ones should be given the boot. When they go somewhere else, Society will know how to teach them to pull up their bootstraps.

With my young assistants, I tried not to raise any mistakes in front of others. Gentle strokes for all folks. When it is a big mistake, it is also gently mentioned. I work on the premise that people are sincerely there to please others and themselves and they will try if LAziness is not genetically engraved in their bones. I believe you giving others time to adjust to their new roles.

Time and patience are the greatest virtues

Now, they have proven to be steady and dependable.

5 Have an Exemplary behavior —Whether as a boss or a colleague, if you do not want any unhappiness working with others, fulfill your promise if you have made any. Have a good reason if you did not. Be punctual, orderly, and smile. The latter is the most disarming weapon you can have.

6 Overcome human obstacles — Despite all that you have set a good example, you still can’t stop the idle gossip. Instead of feeling upset about that, it is more profitable to spend time improving on the knowledge or skill that you have put on a back burner. Discussing someone else’s shortcomings when it has no bearing on your work is an utter waste of time. Especially if that someone is not receptive to any recommendation or help.

I often overheard in the lift about people talking about their colleagues’ performance. If you know you are doing your best, be immune to gossips as you can’t stop other mouths. If you find out what your shortcomings are, work on them and the gossips would stop. It is so simple.

A wise man once said, ‘Do not ask what is a good man. Be one’.

7 Listen, then ask to be listened out

Most conflicts persist because people try to get on top of each other to defend themselves. If one is drawn into a dispute, hear out the other person totally first. Then ask for your turn to speak.

Toastmasters have prepared us to speak off the cuff and in an organized manner. Moreover, we also cover the art of persuasion in many projects. Be amazed at how you can turn the discussion in your favor.

If you are wrong, admit that it is your fault with an apology and assurance that it will not repeat.

Human interaction is complex because we are complex beings. The office can be a wonderful place for networking, building long term relationships, learning, and achieving one’s goals. It is a place of fulfillment and happiness if people can be more aware and cultivate soft skills and not just result-driven.

A peaceful and harmonious environment allows goals to be easily attained.

Get started on it, the essence of good living.

Summer Lotus Aug 1 · 2 min read

I can’t work well without music, I have concluded–Classical ones such as the flute, piano, violin, and the guitar is the staple of my work environment. Even Jazz music is so soothing.

My fingers moved with ease as I work with my instruments in a work-area the size of an apple — — the mouth.

Music makes it easy even for the most difficult piece of work — restoring an upper second molar where I usually need to bend my spine and neck at least 35 degrees using indirect vision.

Or sectioning the wisdom tooth to deliver it in pieces in a deliberate manner.

Music makes it a breeze. My body moves as in a dance, as I shifted left and right and left again to get a good view of the cavity and begin my work of art and science. Music never fails me.

My mind settles to a zone of peace. I am in a flow state, fingers fluid, eyes focused. Nothing seems too difficult.

Meanwhile, I noticed that my patient had drifted off to sleep. Good! They could rest with the mouth open and breathing very easily and evenly.

Such is the magic of music. When the music suddenly stops, I am rudely shocked into reality. Hands froze. “ Nurse, music please!” The patient laughed as if we are in a concert or show and the music is summoned by the conductor.

Night falls, it is time to turn in. Like a creature of habit, I turned to repeat music — selected from the lullaby category of the ‘Calm’ app. Within a short unknown interval, I was carried away into the world of slumber.

Such is the power of music. When I wake up, the lullaby will still be playing. A new day has dawned and music has finished its transport.

Another wonderful day, I am looking forward to listening to music again. Who says that working life is tough?

And I mean everything. There is only one way to avoid this.

Summer Lotus Jul 31 · 4 min read

Life is meant to be hard and we should expect it.

Someone says, “Oh, I just take life easy, mark time every day and collect my salary at the end of the month”.

Well, things don’t work this way. In this competitive world that has gone global and where people from other countries can easily seek work in your country, it is a huge mistake to sit on your laurels.

Soon, very soon, you will get booted out. Because, there is always someone hungrier than you, someone who wants to prove their salt no matter how unpalatable the job, someone who sees any job as a stepping stone to a better one.

Even if you were in a multinational enterprise where they have thousands of workers, walls can talk.

Words get around that you are a skiver, or are not doing your share enough. There is no hiding from job appraisals.

Don’t kill your dreams by being mediocre

The world works in the most expected way; the hardworking ones, the smart ones and the initiated even when not smart but willing to learn and contribute, all will get a piece of the pie.

So, it is best to buck up. Especially in today’s new normal world, so to speak, you have to be abnormal – in the sense that you show adaptability like a chameleon, flex like bamboo in the wind, adjusting to the stormy billows of life as it belts everyone with continuous changes, unimaginable.

In this COVID-19 era, you learned to be resourceful. Having a virus susceptible job and quickly skill yourself to pick up a virus-proof one.

A job like the one you know would be essential when a pandemic hits like those jobs that are in demand now while others are clamped down by the regulations.

I see that opportunity in technology such as blogging, web-based education, e-commerce, food delivery services, transport, health services, etc.

Indeed, it has been a gig economy and will be for good – one job is not enough. Even if you are so versed and passionate about your vocation, learning a different trade would enrich your life immensely.

And in a strange and creative way, they will overlap at some points and contribute to each other’s growth.

I have been a dentist for 35 years and never wanted to die a dentist anyway though I enjoy dentistry. We are made to experience and explore more and squeeze mediocrity out of our lives. Somehow, I became interested in blogging as I was entertaining the idea of being a writer since I like to share my travel stories.

Blogging led to website creation and content creation as well as setting up an e-commerce store.

The two interests overlap. Besides blogging, It became natural for me to set up a clinic website that I never had one but has been a necessity long overdue.

I was a latecomer to the game and was more motivated to do so when I found out that my dentist friends have spent several thousand dollars on their websites besides hefty yearly maintenance.

After some effort, I came up with a functional one which I felt was basic but serve patients well. However, I am continuously upgrading it to make google like me.

SEO was next as it is today’s way of reaching out to patients who use the internet to look for dental services.

SEO is search engine optimization, which is knowing how to make your website more accessible to internet users when they search for the dental industry.

I learned to request for Google stars and FB likes to get ranking. Without paying any money, it works and I had referrals through Google searches.

So, the two vocations had intertwined and potentiated each other’s performance. With more website experience, I can now offer website services as well, a virus-proof job. In the process of creating websites, I learn tools like photo editing, adding elements, and graphics which is a fun thing to do.

Dentistry is moving fast especially when it became digitally enhanced. Everything is fast and clean and good.

Soon to be phased out would be impressions, those sticky, gluey stuff that patients hate and would be replaced by scanning the teeth and gums to record data in the mouth.

For years, X-rays have already been digital and 3 D images were available for more accurate analysis of vital structures and teeth and bone integrity. Now splints could be fabricated for accurate placement of implants.

It takes work and many man-hours to upskill. There are no shortcuts in life.

So, are most careers. If you do not wish to be replaced by someone who knows more and willing to work harder, you have to create that x-factor, that extra edge that would tip that interview in your favor. Or at least show that you are valuable and relevant even with the robots around.

I see developing Communication skills as a paramount way to move forward in one’s career and life.

Creating content is huge now as most people turn to the internet or source for products and information.

So if you communicate well, whether, in writing or speaking, you would win accolades for yourself and an extra jig that pays well. Businesses need good write-up to attract potential clients to their sites to translate them into clients.

That means more reading, more writing, and more practice at Toastmasters’ meetings that would stand us in good stead for this new role.

Nobody ever says that life is easy or will get easier. But it is certainly fascinating. We need to ride this new wave of change and triumph in this brave new world.

In our busy lives, we are reading less and less……

Summer Lotus Aug 2 · 5 min read

Many people either have no time to read or have stopped reading. I have stopped reading for many years, confining myself to clinical textbooks, and occasional magazines.

It was not until recently that I discovered the secret to happiness is hidden in my library of books.

It started when I treated a patient. One day a patient named Jean who was from China, came for dental treatment carrying a thick literature book.

I was curious and impressed. She worked as a cashier in NTUC supermarket and I found out that she had graduated from Sichuan University. She came to Singapore to experience our culture and to pick up English. However, her work left her little opportunity for learning. She spoke good Mandarin and her book was deep in substance.

After the dental treatment, I made a transaction with her. She could teach me Mandarin and I would teach her English.

Over a year, we met once to twice a week after work in a cafe and tutored each other. I learned about Chinese idioms and phrases, about Ancient Chinese history and Philosophy. It was an enriching experience for me.

Then, we went through the storybooks that she liked. She would read aloud and I would explain where necessary and fine-tuned her pronunciations.

That was the start of my love for reading which I always felt was related to a need rather than a love.

Research has shown that reading is very important for our growth and development throughout our lives. I am not talking about any reading — gossips, memes, social media ranting, etc. I am referring to the good old book.

The benefits are;

1. Reading reduces stress and helps you to sleep better.

According to research by the University of Sussex, reading for just six minutes can reduce your stress levels by as much as 68 %

Psychologists believe that you become lost in your literary world away from the real one when you read and that relaxes your muscle tensions.

I am sure you have experienced sleepiness when you read after some time. It is the panacea for insomnia. My book fell away from me naturally as I read and sleep is induced.

But do avoid thrillers and horror stories for bedtime reading.

2 Reading motivates you.

Life has ups and downs whether you are poor or rich.

How you deal with them is in your mind and the wisdom to do so comes from the experiences and insights of authors who have gone before you.

The answers are in the books and they are tested. Whether it is fiction or fact, you can draw inferences where the situation is similar.

Dale Carnegie’s book: “How to win friends and influence people” or Napoleon Hill’s “ Think and grow rich “

These may be such old books that immediately come to my mind. They also show my lack of reading since then.

Some wise sayings from Carnegie:

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration, and resentment.

If you want to keep happy, you have to share it.

From Napoleon Hill:

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds

I attest to their philosophical influences on me. They have helped me greatly.

Do indulge in more self- help books especially in today’s negative world.

3 Reading staves off dementia

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

It is never too late to start reading and reap the brain benefits.

Even if started later, it can delay or prevent dementia.

Reading every day helps to preserve the language and memory longer. Why? Because you have to remember characters, scenarios, and plots when reading a novel, it is a silent training in strengthening your brain cells. Use them or lose them.

Each novel you read, you gain ideas, vocabulary, and inspiration. You fire your imagination and reading engages you so much that your brain will not age so fast.

4 Reading improves your knowledge

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only once.”

When you read about travel stories, you are experiencing life through somebody’s lenses. Places, food, the culture you may never find time to experience but you could still enjoy it. The world is full of fascinating places, because of books.

When you read about a biography, you delve into the person’s philosophy and learned how he or she handled challenges in life. I would rather be learning from someone’s mistakes than to make them.

When you read about a hobby, you piqued your interest in art and culture. A hobby is an important thing to develop as we grow older. You realize your creativity and talent when you dabble in art other than work.

You find your life long interest and that could even spark off a side career for you.

5 Reading builds discipline and character.

Once you become a reader, the whole world is your oyster. Reading takes time and temerity. If you have the patience to finish a thick book, you could complete any manual or project with ease.

You develop an admiration for the author or the character in the story which is worth emulating.

Today’s reader is tomorrow’s leader. All famous people read profusely.

When Warren Buffet was once asked about the key to success, he pointed to a stack of nearby books and said, “Read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will do it.”

Bill Gates read about 50 books a year.

Elon Musk is an avid reader and when asked how he learned to build rockets, he said, “I read books.”

6 A good feel from a book.

Today, much reading is done on the screen. I feel that reading on a screen is disruptive and distracting. Advertisements pop up, sometimes the article shifts away as announcements are made and notifications from your laptop also appear. I feel less disturbed than reading from a book.

There is no radiation, no battery charge up or wifi required and is equally portable.

The touch of a book, the viewing of its cover, and thumbing through the pages give a sense of ownership that no computer can impart. Your favorite book sits on your shelf as a collectible to be passed on to your kids and theirs. It is your legacy.

In conclusion, I envision that with regular reading, I would be very informed in many aspects that I have an interest in and use them in my life.

My aim through reading is to develop more passion in life as the ‘light’ dims and still be a beacon of hope and inspiration to my children and other people.

Moreover, I will never be lonely as a book is my best friend.

You have more options than you think…

“We write to taste life in the moment and in retrospect” — -Anais Nin

My brain is currently teeming with a thousand ideas about topics to write for The Medium but I am stumped. I am sure some of the writers are also in this situation.

What can I write about that interest and inspire others?

What can I write about that is useful to readers?

What can I write about that reflects my passion and desires?

I have more than 60 years of experience under my belt and I have not been living under a rock.

Somehow, through my fun-loving and curious character, egged on by my husband who is innately adventurous and a risk-taker, I managed to experience many events, positive and negative in my life so far.

Well, I suppose I could tap on that which I did in my previous articles. So, you could too. Here are three ways;

1 Tap on your emotions

We all have a wide range of emotions — from anger to sadness to sorrow to happiness to joy to embarrassment to apathy to disgust to frustration to fear to horror and so on.

So, if you are not a true hermit living in some cave, you would have been in contact with fellow human beings, each with their own set of experiences.

How have you interacted with them, how did you respond to their reactions?

People write best when they are emoting. People launch into long stories when they complain because of anger for example.

However, praises are more limited. The long stories could almost constitute good articles for The Medium and if they carry good takeaway messages, they are likely to be curated as well.

The next time when you experience an acute emotion, write the event down.

2 Do something

Still flustered? Well, I shall take a walk around my estate. Or go to a mall, have a coffee and people watch. Or call a friend to catch up.

Just remember your safety steps to prevent the spread of Covid-19.

Innocuous as it may seem, if one does not get out of the house during this Covid-19 times, the growth stops. For the mind and the spirit. And you just grow older and more negative if you continue to surround yourself with bad news from the television and other Social media.

If you must get upset by all the things that are happening in the world, take a stand, write about who and what you think is wrong, how you would propose change and the medium is exactly where you could voice out if you are unable to influence the events in any way.

I often steal time away from work when there are no patients and settle down in a nice cafe and start reading.

Staying in the clinic or office exposes me to interruptions — phone ringing, cheques to sign, questions from staff. At the cafeteria or public bench, it is an idea mulling time and I find that it works well when I am sipping and savoring my cappuccino slowly and surely while reading other people’s articles.

Reading is the fountain of ideas. What others write about, you could give your spin to it as your perspectives may be drastically different. It is one of the most profitable activities in your life and career.

Find out how your friends have advanced themselves in the last few months or regressed, through a phone call. A crisis like Covid-19 brings out the best in some and the worst in others. Something you must avoid if it’s the latter case.

Generally, amazing things happen when people are cornered to cope in life.

Ideas will come. No input, no output. Someone wrote about quitting the rat race on The Medium and I came up with an article on ‘Why I will continue with the rat race.’ This is a contrarian approach but I get something written from a fresh perspective.

3 Recall and Recollect

Look at your photo albums.

See which photos provoke or incite you the most and write your feelings down. What could have been better? How have you dealt with your situation? What were you grateful for?

Fortunately, I have documented my travels on FB. When I looked at the pictures, the memories came flooding back. Why did I go back to Japan a few times a year? What was my best trip? What dangerous things did I do on a trip?

To others, it is mind-boggling and inexplicable. But I was inexorably drawn to a certain country for the reasons that appeal only to me — its food, culture, scenery, lifestyle, etc.

Knowing the language helps. My friends did not understand that I went solo there a few times to step out of my comfort zone and have found my footing there. I discovered nothing to fear traveling solo and how to cope with loneliness in a strange land. People are not all bad. If they cannot communicate with you, they turn away, more out of embarrassment than apathy. You will find your way.

After I figured out the megapolis, it became no threat to me though it was initially. I went back to Japan again to seek out experiences tourists do not get. That is plenty to write about.

4 Check Out Yourself

What are your passions? What did you love doing and what are you good in? Eating? Sleeping? Talking? Even that can constitute an article and become an inspiring one. If you think hard enough and do some research.

Believe yourself that you are a treasure trove of stories and lessons. You need to dig deeper into your past and present and dream of the future. Every day is a happening one if you do, ask, and observe.

“Start writing no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on” — — Louis L’ Amour

Writing is such an exciting activity. In the process of writing, my requirement to read led me to discover authors who have a real way with words and a system of making their articles so readable and inspiring, and so deserving of earning their passive income.

Currently, while feeling stuck thinking about what to write, I settled on writing “What to write when feeling stuck”. I have come up with this read on where one can get ideas and this also serves to remind me what I need to do.

Now, get that paper, wield that pen, and start writing. It will be blank for a moment or many moments. IT may be days and weeks or even months.

Persist.

The magic will come.

Words will flow, ideas will connect, and a message becomes imminent. Your article will be ready. You have written.

You will be ready for the next one.

I love it

Summer Lotus July 6th  5 min read

Are you tired of this rat race? To be faster, better, and richer.

Many people long to drop out of this rat race because they feel that it is killing them and life gets meaningless running this thread mill. They look forward to early retirement.

I want to continue with my rat race because it fulfills my challenge in life which is the opportunity to always cope with the changes that are inevitable. I want to be active and proactive until I become a dead rat.

Even if you drop out of this race, the change will still get to you and make you feel like a helpless rat unless you stay informed.

Because I am not a country rat but a city rat and I operate on a different rhythm. I knew about this when I went to the beautiful laid back city of Perth for 4 days. The first day was a vacation, second day a relaxation, third-day boredom, and 4th-day confinement.

It was just me. I needed a faster pace of life to sustain me. I was looking for stress that would nourish me.

Because my rat race is a diverse one — My race is not just about work, it is about life in general.

While working, I could encounter different settings and sets of challenges in an ever-changing world with its many demands. I would be egged on to engage in problem-solving because I want to be able to think critically.

Off work, I expect to be an active rat to enjoy life in whatever forms it presents, interacting, and sharing with others.

Definition by dictionary.com says;

A rat race has been defined as a way of life in which people are caught up in a fiercely competitive struggle for wealth or power.

To most people, a rat race means continuous working, increasing stress, and health problems. I believe that I could make my rat race a pleasant one.

How?

Does a rat race mean continuous working? It is a matter of perspective.

I see the ability and availability to work as a blessing. If your customer still engages with you, it means that you are able to offer value in your service and product.

I would find ways to work efficiently and effectively. Strategically pace me and think critically to get things done.

Resources in today’s world are abundant and there are always smart colleagues that one can emulate.

I have learned many technological issues from my younger colleagues, they in turn learned from my experiences and avoid pitfalls.

Work brings income that enables you to pursue other passions which cost money. Whether work is continuous beyond your time frame is within your control. If you work in a smart manner, you need not be consumed by work.

When you succeed beyond your expectations, you could filter it down to others and they would also share their talents with you.

Continuous working is actually continuous learning. As work involves change, you will always learn new things.

Does a rat race increases stress? There are many ways to deal with it.

Stress arises when one is unable to find solutions to problems. When one does not have a passion for the task or job, it is time to make a switch.

I have encountered people who are so passionate about their jobs that their eyes lit up when talking about it.

That love comes from their constant acquiring of knowledge and skills and remaining competent.

When in doubt, I often look around and ask for a capable friend to advise me. In today’s world, there is Google that provides a myriad of solutions. Some videos on Youtube even takes you to step by step to solve problems.

Solutions always abound if you search for it. Start the day by solving the most difficult task first. The rest will appear much easier. If the first task cannot be solved, shelve it for the time being. I find that solutions often surface as an afterthought and the problem may even be less minuscule than you think.

The key is to remain calm and collected.

Live in airtight compartments. Do not bring your work home.

It is not the stress that kills, it is our reaction to it. — -Hans Selye

Does a rat race damage your health? How you can protect your health.

The rat race is often associated with long hours and deadlines.

One often forgets that destiny is in your hands. Structure your work by making a large task into bite sizes that can make it achievable.

Cut out unnecessary idle talk while working, delegating where appropriate, and always update on the latest strategy to get work done. When work is beyond your ability to cope, you need to voice out.

Make time for rest, for recreation and rejuvenation. Nobody is too busy for relaxation or exercise. It is just not your priority.

Time management is life management. — — Robin Sharma

The rat race will go on for me because life can be more interesting that way. To be honest, most of us would need money to enable a reasonable standard of living in a city with an ever-increasing living cost. This is to ensure that we can buy the necessary things that often make our lives more convenient.

Staying in the rat race keeps us in the loop, and you are always connected to others and inadvertently will hear about how to deal with any changes. If you fall through the cracks, you might not be able to find someone to help you out as others are in the rat race.

If you are an organized, active, and hardworking rat with a system of balance in your life, I guess it is alright to stay in the rat race.

It is alright to be a busy rat but be a happy and healthy one.