And the factor to overcome it….

1st May 2022 3 min read

I am aware of the power of the mind, the passion and the persistence.

Living in today’s world, we see how incredibly intelligent human beings can be through their achievements, their imagination and their determination. It is the rare few who will break through the common mold and leave their marks in this world and for the good of human mankind.

From the development of medicine which reduces suffering and prolong life to walking on the moon to connecting the world through the internet, to the partnering with AI that will improve human performance and efficiency, we know the mind is limitless in what it wants to achieve.

Each of us have goals and fears. What’s holding us back? I list them as lack of courage, practice, imagination and practice. So here I am with my list of goals, some left on the backburner because of the aforementioned factors. As an average human being, I do not have lofty goals but mine to overcome and feel the triumph.

It used to be public speaking. As they say, for some people, they rather be in the wooden box then to eulogize at a wake. Think of the missed opportunities when one do not learn to articulate well. Misunderstandings result, being seen as a ‘no brainer’ in the true sense of the phrase, and a cold fish, perhaps.

Most successful people are good in communication skills. It is an art and a science, one that can be mastered, by learning about the steps, putting it into practice and believing yourself. If one wants to be successful and move the people around you into action, it is the best and first thing to learn.

It is never too late. We need to talk to somebody every day and we want it to be effective!

As I write this as a Toastmaster of 35 years, I begin to uncover the impediment to my slow progress — The unwillingness to overcome my fear.

The dislike of listening to my own voice, the uncomfortable feeling of watching my video, and the associated embarrassment of not being able to carry through. It is a struggle that I put up at each meeting, wondering if I would forget my lines and always holding on to my crutch which is my script and worrying how I look, lol.

Meanwhile, those members who wanted to tape themselves and scrutinize any errors they have vowed to correct, are improving by leaps and bounds. They have progressed to represent the club at Speech Contests and these platforms will bring them to new levels of communication skill.

Writing this article makes me realize that I need courage. Not to be afraid to fail and try again. Not to bothered by any embarrassment. Maybe I discover I could ad-lip when I get stuck! Not to strive for perfection. True effort is good enough.

The next meeting, I shall try. I just discovered how to open up my power point on zoom so the road to doing more projects have been paved by my asking others how to use power point on zoom. It is a small step in the right direction.

Now, I need to believe in myself.

“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle.” — -Christian D Larson

It is within you…..

30th April 2022 4 min read

No, it is not supplements. Neither is it lots of sleep, nutritious food, plenty of exercises, yoga, meditation, etc.

These measures certainly do help. But the single most important factor, in my opinion anyway, is first of all, your temperament. How do you react to the everyday stresses of living?

Does it get you anxious easily? Do you flare up at the slightest thing that went wrong? Do you go into a tirade against others without considering the circumstances, reasons, or causes?

What happens when the body gets stressed?

The hypothalamus, the control tower in our brain will send out stress hormones to help us deal with the ‘threat’ at hand. It triggers the fight or flight syndrome that is supposed to protect us and allows a quick reaction.

The hypothalamus demands that the adrenal glands release stress hormones, adrenaline, and cortisol to help you cope.

As a result, your heart beat faster, your breathing rate increases, and your muscles tighten to ready for action. In the short term, it allows you to have a sharp response and may save your life. For example, when pursued by somebody, you may be surprised that this fight or flight response will see you counter your opponent with more might than you expected or even run faster than you thought you could.

When the threat is over, the systems go back to normal.

However, in the long term, if the stress response keeps firing, in other words, you allow yourself to be triggered by every little event, you will put your health at great risk. The result is chronic stress which impacts your body by affecting many systems;

1 Lung — -Continuous rapid breathing during stress sends more oxygen-rich blood to your body. This makes you short of breath. It will worsen your breathing if you already have asthma or emphysema ( lung disease)

2 Heart — -Heartbeat rises to send more blood to the muscles to strengthen them for action. In the process, the blood vessels constrict raising blood pressure. Chronic stress then results in a possible stroke or heart attack.

3 Digestion — Under stress, the liver produces more blood sugar or glucose to boost your energy. When chronically stressed, the body cannot cope with the extra blood sugar, resulting in type 2 diabetes.

Stress affects the movement of food through the body resulting in diarrhea or constipation.

You may experience vomiting or get heartburn due to acid reflux caused by an increase in stomach acid.

4 Muscles — -Constant tense muscles may result in headaches, shoulder, back, and body aches, and make you less inclined to exercise resulting in a vicious cycle.

5 Reproductive system —In females, the menstrual cycle may be disrupted and menopausal symptoms magnified. In males, constant stress can affect testosterone levels and may interfere with sperm production, and even result in erectile dysfunction.

6 Immunity — Chronic stress can weaken a person’s immunity making him more susceptible to viral infections such as flu and common colds as well as bacterial infections.

Knowing the myriad effects on the body systems, one has to take steps to get to the root cause which triggered this fight or flight response.

How do we not let a situation or event become chronically stressful and nib it in the bud?

Aside from the above steps recommended above to combat stress that has been triggered, the first line of defense is in our approach to the problem itself.

How does one put out the fire? The wrath, the doubts, and the insecurities caused by the person or the incident. Our negative emotional response is the most damaging factor that triggered the stress reaction and if not tempered would become a chronic stress instigator.

Solutions

1 Staying calm is the first order.

Start by breathing steadily. Staying positive and actively seeking solutions are next. With good temperance, the cloud hovering over your thoughts would clear. There is a solution to most problems.

If there aren’t any solutions, there is no point in getting all frazzled. At least you look cool.

2 Suppress all negative images and likely scenarios as they may not happen, not when you take proactive steps to alleviate the situation.

3 Seek out the resources that may help; people with the ability, the interest to help, and the knowledge. There may be people with similar experiences.

4 Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. Accept it but take steps to alleviate it. Putting emotions before rationale will result in knee-jerk responses that may be harmful.

Flying off the handle, abusing others or self, and engaging in self-pity are all unproductive responses. Most people would stay away from such outbursts.

5 Be honest. If it is clearly your fault, admit it or it may escalate into a dispute where evidence would be held against you. If it is not your fault, you are in the position to put the situation under your control anyway without undue stress.

6 Look for the good. Every event is like a coin with two sides. While something bad has happened, something good would result from it. One must have a good perspective. Eventually, all incidents pass and becomes water under the bridge.

Conclusion

Every day will bring different forms of challenges and strains. I practise what I believe and can only say that the ability to put out the ‘fire’ before it even ignite is an effective way to develop inner peace.

Reaching two hundred articles is unbelievable to me

Feb 17th 2022 3 min read

I don’t believe that I could do this in the first place!

I have been writing for more than two years now and today I earned my first cappuccino! Elated, Ecstatic, Euphoric! US$5 in my coffers. To those established writers who are earning five figures from their writing, this may seem like an overreaction. It’s not a stretch to say that I have reached a personal milestone.

It’s not the money that drives me but of course, it would be good and motivating. It is the sense of progress, persistence, and patience that I witnessed in my growth. Some of my articles seem to generate much appreciation from readers.

It’s the fact that my writing may not appeal to all but is useful to some. For the long haul, I would expect better results from my constant effort to put up content worth reading to some audience. Because I never expect that I could write beyond a few mundane sentences, it has indeed been a boost to my self-confidence to improve in this aspect.

In writing;

I have found what interests my audience and therein lies my direction to focus on what my reader likes. I feel a sense of authority in that field that interests them, of course, backed up by experience and research. I am encouraged to bring forth more practical and useful ideas to share with my readers.

I have persisted in this writing hobby unlike my other pursuits such as my flute playing that stopped after one year when my instructor emigrated, my interest to improve my e-commerce shop and website design that sort of fizzled out temporarily, and my desire to lose those fats around my belly had diminished due to lack of discipline.

All is not lost, since if I continue to write, I will work on achieving those lost goals and report on their progress.

Writing has launched a self-discovery route for me to understand my strengths and weaknesses. Putting it on paper makes it all so succinct and deliberate. My thoughts are clearer and sometimes solutions surface unexpectedly.

Writing requires me to read widely as well as wisely, choosing authors that are authentic and adept in their knowledge and fields. I am grateful for their sharing to become a better writer. Having spent a large part of my life working, balancing family commitments, and doing miscellaneous chores, I have returned to reading and writing in the sunset of my life to find a new meaning for my existence. To share the good things of my life journey.

I must say that writing has gotten easier somewhat over each struggle to put words on paper. In fact, everything just gets easier with constant effort and practice. This realization has opened up many possibilities in life and makes each day a great day to be alive!

11 years into FB, I still think it is a wonderful social media platform

Feb 20th 2022 5 min read

Of the many social media platforms available, I am most familiar with Facebook (FB)and I started in 2011 when I documented my trips to share with my friends.

I found it enjoyable for many reasons

1) Sharing with friends

1 One could have free storage of photos which I could set to share with friends only or public. It elicited active and positive responses from my friends who also shared with me their travel experiences.

3 Those photos are still there in all their glory today while my older photos which were printed before I was interested in FB had yellowed or went missing.

4 The postings on FB also initiated my interest in photography and its intricacies such as composing a photo before snapping, getting the best views, and even night shots. I also picked up editing pictures to enhance them.

5 Due to the power of FB and its ubiquity, I managed to connect again with old friends from my school days and we had gatherings that were very meaningful, renewing happy times.

2) Instant information and help

1 Among friends, when you want to ask for details, you may get a fast response and I found that helpful. Friends can be helpful to give you information and contacts of people who are proficient in certain matters.

For instance, when I needed a good plumber or electrician, I would approach my network by posting my request, “ Hey, anyone has a good plumber to recommend?”. Almost instantly, I get at least two responses.

FB has been known to be successfully used to crowd-fund ie to raise funds by people for a reason and the amount was impressive. The onus is on the donors to decipher if the request is genuine.

2 FB is also a good mouthpiece for any start-up business as it gives visibility depending on the number of likes and shares. When I had useful stuff which I felt may be needed by others(likewise for my friends), we would post on FB so that arrangements can be made to pick them up. Similarly, if there is something we want to sell that is quite valuable and one prefers a friend to buy it, one never feels awkward to ask friends on FB.

3 Instant link to registration. Many websites are linked to FB and it helps to be a FB user as it facilitates registration. It means just one FB password is needed and registration for courses is speedy.

— — — — –

Facebook started to evolve over the years.

As time went on, FB started to change. I began to reduce my participation in FB for the following reasons.

1 The incoming feed of news became a mixed bag with information coming from everywhere. You receive postings from unsolicited people, from advertisements hankering to sell you something, and postings that were just frivolous. Personal space has been invaded.

There is also fake news posted by some users which if you circulate, you need to apologize for it later.

2 I started to hear from a few friends whose accounts were compromised. There were postings that were not theirs but their profiles were duplicated and misused. One friend was said to have posted for financial help stranded in another country when she was right at home. I called her and she said she was not aware.

I also saw my profile photo on a dating app. Though I felt bamboozled and puzzled, I simply dismissed it with some amusement. Why would people want to put a senior like me on a dating app?

3 Sometimes, negative effects of FB interaction streamed in. When there was a scandalous incident that was posted on FB, some people started to give comments that were hurting without understanding the situation and regards for others’ feelings. Some even resort to online bullying, personal attacks, and threats. And to have it like thousands of times means that your problem becomes magnified many times.

But of course, there were congratulatory messages for some friends and we were inspired by their achievements.

4 FB may encourage crime and this is due to some users and not the platform. –Like emails and other platforms, you may be lured into a landing page that installs malware on your computer and then steals your credentials. The user should be more discerning.

It could be some contest that encourages you to sign up and inadvertently, you have released some personal details like your email addresses, home address, and mobile no. That may lead to more spam and scams.

— — — — — — — — — –

Steps to navigate FB safely

1. Minimize risk by declining friend requests from strangers. The latter may use your platform to gain insight into other friends’ personal data. This may annoy your friends and provide an opportunity to intrude into others’ privacy.

2. Be thoughtful about what you share online as they may come back and haunt you one day. Anything that makes a person’s character questionable may be used against him or her with FB’s evidence.

3. Beware of links — hover your mouse over the URL to see its true destination. Some sites have no security, some are fakes.

4. Don’t post in real-time when overseas as this indicates that you are not home and you may have set yourself for a potential burglary. It is best to wait a few days or when you are home before sharing content.

In summary, I am still a FB user and enjoying my interaction with friends. I still look at the occasional feed in FB out of curiosity and also for instant news as they do reach one faster than the main media.

FB can be useful. Some postings are very commendable and have practical applications. However, It is important to allow oneself a predetermined amount of time for its use as it can be a real-time stealer when one’s attention is drawn into the myriad of news. It is of course important to separate the wheat from the chaff as you read on FB.

Uncovering gems to effective speech message from TED talks

2022, 7th February 7 min read

Communication skills have over the years powered up. When we watch presentations or speeches these days, we will realize that we get the ideas more succinctly and remember them longer.

There are so many aspects to effective communication skills including delivery, content, and language. I like to share my findings on how speakers make their contents stick. I shall list three ways gleaned mostly from watching TED talks.

1 Effective speaker use the multi-sensory experience

For the following reasons;

a) Powerpoints are no longer effective.

Remember the days when we were shown PowerPoint slides with bullet points to read?

It is found that a slide usually has as many as 40 words.

b) It is better to display an image and speak to the audience.

Research has shown that the audience can’t listen to the words and read the wordy slide at the same time. This is explained by the dual coding theory by Prof Paivio from Canada.

What is dual coding theory?

Prof Paivio explained that when you just give your audience a term or word, they will register it as a verbal code.

But when you give an image and a term, they will register it visually and verbally, making it a clearer concept.

Eg you mention a chow dog, we know it as a kind of dog

But when you attach an image of a chow dog, you will remember it as a very furry cute dog that looks like a bear.

Therefore, give your audience a double coding effect if you want the message to stick.

C) Neuroscience experiments have also proven the PSE (Picture superiority effect)

Evidence has shown;

A picture helps one to recall 6 X more than listening to words alone. If you hear information, you can only recall 10% 3 days later compared to a visual impact of 65%

The picture is now etched into your brain and will remain with you for some time to seek action.

Recommendation;

Visuals should enhance words, not duplicate — -TED Commandment

Use more images and even videos and narrate along with them. Appeal to the senses of visual, auditory, and touch if possible. Taste and smell may only be possible through narration.

— — — — — — –

2 Speakers use the rule of 3 — –

It has been discovered that 3 is the magic number of items or headings that people will remember in short-term memory. As the number increases, the retention reduces.

Under each heading, you elaborate and they could be further broken down into another 3 items.

The rule of 3 pervades our lives too;

In literature, we have 3 little pigs, 3 musketeers, 3 wishes granted to Aladdin.

In art, we have 3 primary colors — red, blue, and yellow

At the dinner table, you have 3 pieces of cutlery — spoon, fork, knife.

Steve Job’s 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech is a fine example that employs the Rule of 3.

He used a message map in 3 steps

First is the Headline

The headline is supported with 3 key messages

Under each key message, he had organized his storytelling into 3 points.

Steve Job’s talk can be viewed on Youtube.

It would be more effective if he had added more images and elaborated his rule of 3 speech. But that was back in 2005 when he spoke at the podium during his Stanford Commencement Speech and there were no visual aids used.

Forward to 2009 TED talk by Bill Gates Ted talk about “Mosquitoes, Malaria and Education” — nicely categorized under 3 headings, yet each category has poignant and relevant slides that drove the message home.

Bill Gates told the story simply. As the images were flashed, we see only relevant headings that did not clutter the images.

His statistical slides were also clean-cut and attractive.

He also used a short animated video to show the increased or decreased effect of an outcome.

3 Speakers use special techniques

1) Using Humor

Humor lowers defenses and makes the audience more receptive. The audience loves humor and if you package your message around it, it will be more impactful.

A good example is employed by Bill Gates in his TED talk about the elimination of mosquitoes worldwide. He mentioned that “there is more money put into baldness than malaria drugs. Baldness is a terrible thing and rich men are afflicted that’s why the priority has been sapped” — —This elicited a smile from the audience who found it amusing.

He then opened the container to release some mosquitoes. He said, “ I brought these to let them roam around a bit; There is no reason why only poor people should have the experience” causing a burst of laughter. Meanwhile, behind him, an image of a mosquito drawing blood from the skin was displayed.

2) Using rhetorical devices like analogies and metaphors

An analogy is a clear comparison that something is like something to explain the situation better. You are comparing two different things that share similarities.

Eg Life is like a race

A metaphor is an implied comparison that something is something else with the same similarities.

Eg My baby brother is a cute little teddy bear.

These rhetorical devices are effective because they paint vivid imagery of the object or the situation that allows a clearer understanding in the audience’s minds.

They are also a more colorful and entertaining way of expressing the words making them more poetic, persuasive, and pronounced.

3) Using relevant quotes — -Motivational, inspirational, and realistic quotes by famous people help the audience develop a new perspective, enlighten them or shock them into reality. Many of these quotes are so wise that they continue to ring in the audience’s ears long after reciting them.

Examples;

The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts — -Marcus Aurelius

Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity — Nat Turner

Quotes may be used in the beginning or in the conclusion to give additional impact to the message. Many times, a good quote has lingered in my mind so I know it can be effective.

In Summary, to make messages stick;

1. Use the multi-sensory experience of visual, auditory. Taste, smell, and touch where applicable

2. Deliver your message in a package of 3 headings.

3. Use special features like humor, rhetorical devices, and effective quotations.

May your speeches from now on be like a precious gift to your audience that they would forever cherish your message and carry out your appeal for action.

A moment of reflection…..

Summer Lotus 2nd Feb 2022

The coffee always came hot

But often, I consumed it cold

I watched, pondered, and thought

It was none other than my fault

Having a chat

Solving a spat

Mind asunder

To prevent a blunder

Failing to rest

When put to the test

Looking at news

As if one is on cue

Time flies

I suddenly realize

My $8 coffee has gone cold

Nonetheless, I gulped in one go

Another lovely moment misspent

It will not happen again, I quietly vent.

(Poetry from a restless soul)