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25th Dec 2022 3 min read

I always feel a sense of trepidation as the year approaches its final closure. Time again has slipped by fast like a clever thief, taking away my dreams which are half-fulfilled. More so in recent years where we feel more restricted due to the pandemic. However, my usual consolation is “New Year is coming! This time it is going to be different!”

Yes, yes, many times I have uttered this to myself. Not all is lost though.

The pandemic did do some good to me on reflection. It was like a spanner thrust into the wheel of my daily routine and caused me to veer sideways. Into new experiences, new dreams, and new friends.

In this space of three years of greater self-awareness about self-preservation, I have adopted a few skills and interests. I created my website which I had learned, understood how Ecommerce works in the backend, picked up line dancing, worked on my two left feet tendency, made interesting and encouraging friends, became interested in writing, improved my Mandarin, got acquainted with my Japanese language studies again and focused on building my dental practice, to turn it into a group practice since the pandemic had curtailed my traveling plans.

If not for the pandemic, my routine, die-hard life was about work, then travel, meeting up with the usual people, and repeating it. There is always a silver lining to the grey cloud. While bad things happen, one could only keep and must carry on if one cannot alleviate them.

The pandemic and the war have tempered many moods. I saw changes in some people where they have become more agitated, insecure, and even depressed. Yet there were others who carried on, living life as normally as possible, taking appropriate precautions.

I agree with the latter. Don’t stop your activities — those that you love doing, even if they involve interaction with many people due to fear of Covid. The virus makes no announcement, it lurks in the most unlikely places and it does not discriminate. Then, why fear?

The moment we fear death is the moment we start to die, internally. As if living life on a thread. Hesitating in achieving your goals because you have confined yourself to a zone of ‘safety’.

While being cognizant of the bad things that are happening around the world, one can do nothing but pray, be cautious, calm, and carry on. If you can help in some way, do. Otherwise, do not be paralyzed into inaction by negative comments and suggestions thrown around you.

Life still goes on. 2023 may always be the turning point. Things always get worse before it gets better and we may already have hit the bottom. If not, the human spirit must not submit.

A New Year, a new lease of life. Come what may, there are so many worthy goals to aim for and the journey ahead is certainly going to be exciting.

A brilliant entrepreneur’s business idea helps customers hit their project deadlines.

21st Nov 2022 5 min read

I was in Japan recently and nearing the end of the trip, I was concerned about what to write for my opening address.

Then, I remembered that at a stop called Koenji in Tokyo, an entrepreneur has started The Manuscript Writing Cafe.

It is not a cafe that serves coffee though you may buy one. It is a place where once you have checked in, you have to finish writing your article, assignment or project before you are allowed to leave and they charge per half hour.

This themed cafe that helps one target deadlines have caught on with office workers, writers, and students.

I decided to sign in to see if I could write my opening address. My inner clock started ticking and I was aware of my yen being burned by the minute.

Speech, speech, I told myself. Suddenly, the idea occurred to me — l shall write about what I have learned in Japan.

Well, I decided to write about my trip to Kiyotsu gorge also known as the Tunnel of Light. Kiyotsu gorge is one of the three great gorges in the Northern part of Japan.

This is what I wrote; The trip to Kiyotsu Gorge

“ It was quite a challenge as I needed to match the bus schedule times and be able to catch the last bus back. The complex bus network map and its long names did not help. I asked around and realized that not all Japanese know about their famous sites. Finally, we located the right platform to board the bus.

On the bus, I suddenly had the intuition as if guided by some divine power that we needed to get off midway and not at the final stop. Fortunately, I quickly asked a lady in my limited Japanese with her friend. She was going to the gorge with her friend.

We got off at the right stop where we followed the stream of people, apparently heading for Kiyotsu gorge. It was cool in autumn and the walk was brisk and pleasant though the road was winding and narrow, with an upsloping gradient, and was next to the road where large vehicles sometimes rumbled past.

The scenery was spectacular.

The mountain rose ahead of us and burst into autumn colors. The stream flowed over the rocks and the air was crisp. We took in the scenery and bathed in the glory of autumn splendor.

It was a 1 km walk.

Finally, we reached the opening of the tunnel where we paid 1000Y each which is about S$10. The sign said “ 750m walk to the gorge.

So there was another 750m to scale through the tunnel.

This tunnel has been cut 750m deep into the mountain. While walking in the tunnel, there were lights and exhibits at intervals and illusionary displays to break the monotony.

We walked assiduously on and finally, lo and behold — an opening appeared before us and we were dumbfounded by the illusion.

The tunnel has a large puddle of shallow water shimmering in the natural light. As people inched forward to look at the gorge, their reflections could be seen in the puddle. It was like moving art on water.

There were many iPhone and Samsung moments. We were refreshed by the walk and thrilled by the sight. We spent much time just gazing at this human endeavor to create a wonderful illusion.

Kiyotsu gorge is characterized by V-shaped steep gigantic stone cliffs that straddle a river. Used to be, the river rushes down the rocky roads but climate change has affected it somewhat. Nevertheless, it is still magnificent!

After many picture taking, we made our way back to the hotel, pleased with our successful attempt to locate this scenic beauty and natural monument.

What I have learned;

1 Human beings are endowed with a lot of intelligence, talent, and creativity. The building of this tunnel attests to this.

2 We must believe in our accomplishments when we see that man can create a machine that cuts 750m into a mountain. With military precision.

Most of our daily aims should be easily achievable.

3 We must not lose the passion to explore and be awed by things around us. Let us be inspired always.

4 Human beings will always be innovative like the owner of this manuscript writing cafe who has a brilliant idea and turn it into a business to benefit both parties.

A business that makes people coerce themselves to hit their deadlines by targeting their pockets. I discover that a hurt pocket does move one’s ambition.

While writing furiously, I was aware of my yen diminishing but manage to finish in under 15 minutes which cost me Y250. Even though it is only $2.50 I discovered that I work well under pressure especially if the time taken costs money.

Many valuable lessons were learned from this trip and that’s what keeps me traveling in this inspiring world.

Tamper it for they will never go away…

Oct 13th 2022 4 min read

There is nothing to fear but fear itself – Franklin D Roosevelt.

This powerful phrase has guided my life largely and will continue to tease me for the rest of my life.

My list of fears is long. Some still reside in me despite my knowing that I can overcome them.

I fear it because it’s unknown.

I fear it because it may be dangerous.

I fear because I may die.

Many fears are unfounded. It’s not like facing a predatory animal where the human is more likely to be killed.

Staying in my comfort zone does not allow me to discover the wonders of living. It does not stimulate my senses nor does it make me more knowledgeable and confident.

My first fear was public speaking. I had no clue how to conduct myself and speak appropriately and sensibly. That did cause me to lose many opportunities in life. I think it was just the fear of looking stupid, having nothing to say, and being judged.

It took me many years to enroll in courses to break my fear. At the British Council, Dale Carnegie Course, Sylvia McCully’s course, and finally SIM2 Toastmasters club. I find Toastmasters club not only more structural and economical, but it is also more effective.

30 years with Toastmasters have seen insidious personal growth and that is directly proportional to my extent of active participation in its program. Nevertheless, the opportunity to give speeches guided by proper manuals, effective evaluations by experienced Toastmasters, and also the chance to develop leadership qualities by being an exco member largely contribute to my personal and career growth.

Speaking is cathartic, it is healing. It builds self-confidence and self-esteem. The fear may not totally go away but it is certainly tamed with practice and experience.

My second fear was of the sea. I would never go into the deep because I could not swim at first. During my U days, I started to tread in the pool water at a depth not enough to drown me, and watched by a friend eventually enabled me to swim.

For years, my husband who was an avid scuba diver would coax me to take lessons and regaled me with stories of the beautiful marine life and the fishes.

One day, I did sign up for the course and had theory plus pool and sea training.

The first time in the sea was quite hilarious. As the environment was new to me, I was terrified of what could be lurking around me. I stayed so close to my instructor that our air tanks collided in the sea a few times, sending the sound reverberating through the blue and certainly could have summoned some unsavory creatures our way.

But with time and numerous ‘scary’ dives, I became more relaxed and appreciative of the colorful marine life around me and how the fishes were swimming without a care about the tumultuous world above them.

My fear of the sea had largely diminished when I learned more about safe scuba diving, keeping to its protocol, and remaining calm under all circumstances to deal with the situation at hand.

My third fear is that of being alone — in a dark place, a foreign land, or an unknown environment. This is tough because you really do not know what to expect.

I remembered the first time I went to Male, which is the Capital of The Maldives, supposedly to meet up with my husband who would arrive from Colombo.

It was the early hours and in the surrounding darkness of the small airport which could be described as a simple building, I arrived to a sea of beaming faces, and white teeth eagerly wanting to know where I wanted to go. I was to take the speedboat to Olhuveli, an island about one hour away.

Fear seized me. Why were these people so friendly? I held my belongings tightly and asked them where they were from. When the right resort name came up, I boarded the speedboat, relieved that there were a few other tourists.

When we reached the resort, still in pitch darkness, the bell boy in his sarong attire carried my luggage and we walked at least 50m along a dark rocky path to a two-storey nondescript building and I was ushered to a ground-floor room. I was too fearful to say anything and hoped that my husband would show up soon. He did not.

I slept with the lights and my shoes on. I did fell asleep, probably exhausted from fear. The next day, when I woke up and drew the curtains, I was mesmerized by the view of the turquoise color sea. The morning breeze refreshed me, the trees swayed and the birds chirped. I was in paradise. The fear was imagined and my husband soon turned up, delayed in Colombo and unable to establish connections with the resort. We had no internet and mobiles then.

These are still my main fears but they are somewhat subdued by self-reasoning, proper planning, and prayer. What would I do? I think it is best to keep doing it and wonderful things can happen because you enter a different realm and a whole new experience.

Fears will always be there but I have decided to seize fear by its ugly head. I will still take calculated risks because that is the only way to live.

Oct 8th 2022 3 min read

In my younger school days, I was bankrupt of ideas during essay writing.

Life was simple, routine, and stress-free. I also did not cultivate a love for reading, spending most of my time after school playing.

When I was accepted into a so-called elite school by the skin of my teeth, I was elated.

Little did I know that my self-esteem would then take an unstoppable fall after that.

Many of the students were from well-heeled families who came in chauffeured cars and were prepped for life not to mention school.

Some have private tutors to coach them in English and Mandarin and they could even write poetry. Some were maths geniuses and some had incredible memory power.

Some were just plain intelligent.

I was a mediocre student, from a simple and poor background, and had coveted a brand-name school known for its brainy students and future leaders.

Naturally, I paled greatly in comparison to them in my studies.

The low self-esteem resulting from the inability to write prose was further compounded when my teacher flung my book out the window one day.

I remembered walking down four floors of the school building dejectedly to retrieve my writing book. It was followed by many occasions of my name being announced whenever I failed an assignment.

It resulted in my belief that I was neither academic nor smart and it marred my attempts to achieve in many other aspects of my life – due to the feeling of not being good enough.

It also made me realize that the world only had eyes for the rich, the smart and the brave and I was none of that.

Nevertheless, I was able to complete my University studies. What really made me progress in my life was learning communication skills which is a confidence booster.

Almost every form of success hinges on the fact that one could express succinctly and sensibly. More progress followed when I joined the medium and started writing and reading others’ works.

I felt my life, thoughts, and decision-making improved by leaps and bounds. Most of the articles on the medium are positive, based on thoughts, research, and experiences shared by other authors.

As I have benefited greatly from others, I would also like to pay it forward in my writings and speech-making at Toastmasters Club meetings.

My motto as regards interaction with people in my daily life is this;

“Do not put anyone down. If you can, show him or her the ropes gently. Otherwise, just shut up and walk away. It is less damaging to the self-worth.”

There is also the counterargument that by being harsh, you may spur the ignorant or lazy to greater heights.

In some cases, it may help, in hindsight but sometimes you may unintentionally kill off a person’s passion or potential for a long time, especially in a young one.

This is my experience and it takes a lot of undoing.

Currently, I can relate to people who may not have enough confidence in doing certain tasks. Especially when they just entered the working world.

It is not because they are not able, they need a patient mentor who is calm, compassionate, and communicates clearly. People thrive on positivity, possibility, and encouragement.

No belittling, insults, or insinuations. We all have tasted that before.

Unless a person shows no interest to learn, it is always good to understand that he or she is fearful of failure and needs kind words.

People forget that they were naive and foolish and made many mistakes when they were younger too.

When one is inclined to criticize and chide others for their mistakes, remember that we have been down that road before.

For some, they have met gracious people who prodded them on. Others may be angered and spurred on to do better. For others, they could be disillusioned by the treatment and become bitter and critical themselves.

In any case, be kind in words and deeds. I would say that kindness has paid back in many ways, much more than I could imagine.

Oct 4th 2022 2 min read

I had woken up a few times through the night.

There had been a radiating and excruciating pain in my left toe and it prevented me from returning to my slumber.

I looked at my toe which had the nail torn unconsciously while reading. A bad habit of mine is picking and tearing my nails.

I must admit that I rarely have painful episodes and feel lucky.

I only recall rare incidents like a fall while skiing causing a stretched tendon in my knee. A bout of food poisoning resulted in diarrhea and vomiting. And a sprained neck due to poor sleep position.

My first thought was to cancel my rocking climbing lesson that was to take place this evening.

This would disappoint not only myself who has been looking forward to it as well as my young coach who has put aside his other plans to train me. But one must be considerate and not cancel last minute.

I almost grabbed my mobile to text my coach to cancel but I decided to grab something to eat at this wee hour of the morning before popping in a painkiller.

I have rarely taken painkillers and it should work for me.

Twenty minutes later, the pain was gone! Indeed, medicine is marvelous! It got me thinking about those soldiers and civilians caught in war. When there is injury and intense pain and no medicine is available. My heart goes out to them.

My incident tells me ;

Don’t give in so fast. Do what you can to carry on as planned.

To feel grateful to be in the situation that I am in, with the availability of medicine in Singapore.

Always stay positive because negative thoughts tend to be predominant.

How I make reading more effective.

Sept 4th, 2022 3 min read

Things do not change until you change. It begins with self-analysis

Why do I know so little information?

Why do I get so little done?

Why do I not achieve the goals that I have set?

It’s because I don’t read enough. Why so?

A self-analysis uncovers the fact that I tend to be supine when reading which is not a favorable position to adopt. Most times, I would drift into a slumber and wake up a few hours later with time left to do my other chores.

My answer is that I need to sit at a desk or on a reading couch to engage in this activity. I would be better off taking a nap if it is really necessary than bringing a book to the bed. Since researching this common problem, my reading has improved markedly.

Now, I focus on time for reading. One should know one’s downtime when the mind is less alert. Reading more complex matters requires one to be fully alert while easy reading can be done when there is a challenge to mental retention. In this respect, I am a morning lark as well as a night owl.

Eating less helps physiologically as more blood is directed to the digestive system after eating a full meal. Hence, most people are less attentive after heavy meals. Snacking on some healthy snacks during reading may help keep one awake.

I found out that staying hydrated keeps one satiated and increases oxygen flow throughout the body. This makes me realize that I do not drink enough water in the first place.

One strategy that works for me is to regularly break the boredom of sitting down or the monotony of reading by going for a short walk maybe to the kitchen, around the house, or to a nearby shop to pick up an item. The action of walking itself sometimes generates ideas that can supplement my reading. Even a few minutes of stretching and breathing exercises refresh the mind and body.

I try not to break the monotony by using the mobile, a device of alluring colors and contents that can cause one to keep scrolling and lose the track of time. Moreover, it also tires the eyes.

One of the most effective ways that I sometimes use is to read aloud while walking around in the room with my reading material. Reading aloud also helps to etch the facts into my brain effectively.

Putting pen to paper to write unfamiliar words to decipher later or important concepts do engage my mind better and make reading more effective.

Playing some background music can assist in my reading. In my case, classical music helps. Relaxation spa music does the opposite but for some, heavy metal music is useful so it depends on the individual.

I am glad that I broach this subject as I feel that reading enriches my life and have explored ways to improve it. As a working individual, it leaves very little time at the end of the workday to imbibe the wisdom and knowledge found in books. Hence, I believed that the above steps adopted will see me reading happily into the future.