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26th Feb 2023 2 min read

I look back at the good times and bad times.

I am deeply thankful for all the experiences, regardless.

Good times were little moments of surprises, laughter, and happiness.

Looking at the innumerable old photos bring back memories of many vacations taken with the children, watching them wide-eyed, smiling, chuckling, and enjoying activities.

They are close siblings, and I am thankful. Better that they are close to each other and have no sibling rivalry. Their relationship is for the long term.

Remembering how my loved one would arrange small vacations, too many and too close for my liking as I had to juggle work and fun but in hindsight, they have led to many indelible memories, experiences, and kodak moments then.

Good times taught us to be grateful for this blessing to have fun as a family and not to take things for granted. To have time together is priceless. We hope to remain unbroken forever.

Bad times were invaluable too, not that one would like to have them but lessons resulted from their occurrences.

What was construed as bad times? When things did not go as desired; such as a trip went awry. When family members were at loggerheads for the silliest reasons. When there was a health crisis.

Well, lessons abound. The answers were with us all along. There was no need to expound on the reasons. It was the law of cause and effect.

All one needed was self-reflection, adjustment, and resolution to put things right. The importance of forgiveness of others and self to start again.

We are thankful for the bad times. Painful as expected, they were necessary to shake one out of complacency.

Going forward, the family has matured with the parents getting on in age and the children fully grown. What is important is autonomy for each to pursue life with meaning, live life with zest, and be of use to people around us.

It is necessary to have space among us each, to have tranquility, peace, and respect. As well as love, gratitude, and unity to come together and celebrate a jolly good time occasionally.

Life is likened to riding the waves of a rough sea. It’s unlikely to be smooth and each has to contend with challenges on his or her own terms and grow ever stronger.

Wabi Sabi, a great way of life

26th Jan 2023. 3 min read.

I bought this irregular piece of pottery at a local cafe shop displaying the artwork of young artists.

I wanted to support the local artists to encourage them for their effort and it is an extra source of income for hardworking people.

Pottery takes time to create ideas, weeks and months, even years to hone this craft, and patience to shape and bring it to its final glory.

What strikes me most about this piece is the irregularity and not the perfect and flawless symmetry that I used to look for in craftwork.

It reminds me of Wabi Sabi, the Japanese philosophy of imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness and finding beauty in it.

Wabi Sabi is to embrace that life is a cycle of growth and decay and one must find wisdom moving through life.

Wabi Sabi as I see it.

Imperfections in Life

While living each day bring challenges, practicing Wabi Sabi helps me see that one should use kindness as much as possible.

The world can be a harsh place to live in as some humans have the propensity to judge, criticize and condemn. This can happen in any society even at home.

Practising Wabi Sabi means forgiving others who are finding their ways in life and have made mistakes.

It means forgiving yourself when you have erred and trying to rectify it.

It means being mindful that human beings are imperfect.

I have been discouraged by others when I was younger so I would prefer to encourage, enlighten and empower others with the knowledge that I have. If not, I could find someone who can.

I forgive those who are brash and cunning because the problems are with them.

This is a more compassionate and constructive way of living with others.

Impermanence in Life

Life goes in a flash. Practising Wabi Sabi makes me mindful of the fleeting nature and impermanence of life hence I would treasure time to improve myself in many aspects – communication, education, and the application of life principles that I believe in.

This I hope would impress my children and some to do the same.

I would treasure with my loved ones and good friends the happy and fruitful times we have together and seize every moment that is memorable. What’s left are indelible, inspiring memories.

Incompleteness in Life

Wabi Sabi is about the incompleteness of living.

Life is not completed in death. We return to nature from whence growth comes back to nurture us.

Work can never be completed even as a retiree as there is always stuff to attend to.

Aging is ongoing as we are works of nature.

Hence, practicing Wabi Sabi means that I must make time to appreciate the power and beauty of nature and slow down to inculcate a daily life balance. So that the true beauty of nature and the seasons do not just whisk past me.

The next time, you want to throw away something old, think Wabi Sabi. As it also discourages waste.

Is there any aesthetic in it?

Is there an important lesson behind it?

Is it still functional?

It may be flawed but since life is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete, maybe it could become an inspirational object.

13th Jan 2023 2min read

We are still on the cusp of a brand New Year. During this time, we often talk about resolutions that are broken.

Even broken as they will be, we must continue to pursue to make life worth living.

I will focus on one habit that is useful.

Start early every day.

I can share the immense benefits. Much as I would like to slither like a snake between the bedsheets and wallow deeper into the mattress due to the soft morning lights, I know that good things lie ahead if I only would just get up.

Used to be, my time is so tight that I would skip my breakfast and leave the house in a hurry, and arrive at the clinic panting.

Thanks to my dog’s training, things are different. She awaits me every morning patiently as I instinctively wake up, like a caring. grandmother, eager to attend to her grandchild’s needs.

After I scoop up the warm furry bundle of my Spitz dog and buckle my waist pouch containing her comb and her poo bags, we would set off at dawn for a walk around the estate to answer her calls of nature.

The morning Sun is always gentle and soothing. It rejuvenated my mind, being, and spirit, and the cool breeze makes my eyes smart.

My joints are oiled and my steps become brisk.

As the soft Sun exposure synthesizes the Vitamin D and makes my bone stronger, I am greeted by many smiley faces as other dog lovers are also energized by the morning air.

Something about the mornings that only walking a dog would make one discover.

The neighborhood is quiet, neighbors are renewing their houses, paths are being retiled, gardens are so manicured and blooming with flowers, the birds chirp, and there is a lot to look forward to in the days ahead.

We come home, the dog is cleaned and ready for her breakfast and her nap and it’s only 7.30 am!

I have gained a one-hour head start which I never had before the dog came.

My mind is now clear as day, and I am able to have a leisurely breakfast and make some plans.

My point is, just start earlier than usual, you don’t really need a dog but a dog is a great motivating factor. Otherwise one needs sheer self-discipline to leave your comfort zone.

Start earlier than your usual schedule in the morning or when working towards any goals. You will surprise yourself with the extra time you never thought you can have.

And that is the time you have earned to do anything you want including working on something that you said you have no time for.

25th Dec 2022 3 min read

I always feel a sense of trepidation as the year approaches its final closure. Time again has slipped by fast like a clever thief, taking away my dreams which are half-fulfilled. More so in recent years where we feel more restricted due to the pandemic. However, my usual consolation is “New Year is coming! This time it is going to be different!”

Yes, yes, many times I have uttered this to myself. Not all is lost though.

The pandemic did do some good to me on reflection. It was like a spanner thrust into the wheel of my daily routine and caused me to veer sideways. Into new experiences, new dreams, and new friends.

In this space of three years of greater self-awareness about self-preservation, I have adopted a few skills and interests. I created my website which I had learned, understood how Ecommerce works in the backend, picked up line dancing, worked on my two left feet tendency, made interesting and encouraging friends, became interested in writing, improved my Mandarin, got acquainted with my Japanese language studies again and focused on building my dental practice, to turn it into a group practice since the pandemic had curtailed my traveling plans.

If not for the pandemic, my routine, die-hard life was about work, then travel, meeting up with the usual people, and repeating it. There is always a silver lining to the grey cloud. While bad things happen, one could only keep and must carry on if one cannot alleviate them.

The pandemic and the war have tempered many moods. I saw changes in some people where they have become more agitated, insecure, and even depressed. Yet there were others who carried on, living life as normally as possible, taking appropriate precautions.

I agree with the latter. Don’t stop your activities — those that you love doing, even if they involve interaction with many people due to fear of Covid. The virus makes no announcement, it lurks in the most unlikely places and it does not discriminate. Then, why fear?

The moment we fear death is the moment we start to die, internally. As if living life on a thread. Hesitating in achieving your goals because you have confined yourself to a zone of ‘safety’.

While being cognizant of the bad things that are happening around the world, one can do nothing but pray, be cautious, calm, and carry on. If you can help in some way, do. Otherwise, do not be paralyzed into inaction by negative comments and suggestions thrown around you.

Life still goes on. 2023 may always be the turning point. Things always get worse before it gets better and we may already have hit the bottom. If not, the human spirit must not submit.

A New Year, a new lease of life. Come what may, there are so many worthy goals to aim for and the journey ahead is certainly going to be exciting.

A brilliant entrepreneur’s business idea helps customers hit their project deadlines.

21st Nov 2022 5 min read

I was in Japan recently and nearing the end of the trip, I was concerned about what to write for my opening address.

Then, I remembered that at a stop called Koenji in Tokyo, an entrepreneur has started The Manuscript Writing Cafe.

It is not a cafe that serves coffee though you may buy one. It is a place where once you have checked in, you have to finish writing your article, assignment or project before you are allowed to leave and they charge per half hour.

This themed cafe that helps one target deadlines have caught on with office workers, writers, and students.

I decided to sign in to see if I could write my opening address. My inner clock started ticking and I was aware of my yen being burned by the minute.

Speech, speech, I told myself. Suddenly, the idea occurred to me — l shall write about what I have learned in Japan.

Well, I decided to write about my trip to Kiyotsu gorge also known as the Tunnel of Light. Kiyotsu gorge is one of the three great gorges in the Northern part of Japan.

This is what I wrote; The trip to Kiyotsu Gorge

“ It was quite a challenge as I needed to match the bus schedule times and be able to catch the last bus back. The complex bus network map and its long names did not help. I asked around and realized that not all Japanese know about their famous sites. Finally, we located the right platform to board the bus.

On the bus, I suddenly had the intuition as if guided by some divine power that we needed to get off midway and not at the final stop. Fortunately, I quickly asked a lady in my limited Japanese with her friend. She was going to the gorge with her friend.

We got off at the right stop where we followed the stream of people, apparently heading for Kiyotsu gorge. It was cool in autumn and the walk was brisk and pleasant though the road was winding and narrow, with an upsloping gradient, and was next to the road where large vehicles sometimes rumbled past.

The scenery was spectacular.

The mountain rose ahead of us and burst into autumn colors. The stream flowed over the rocks and the air was crisp. We took in the scenery and bathed in the glory of autumn splendor.

It was a 1 km walk.

Finally, we reached the opening of the tunnel where we paid 1000Y each which is about S$10. The sign said “ 750m walk to the gorge.

So there was another 750m to scale through the tunnel.

This tunnel has been cut 750m deep into the mountain. While walking in the tunnel, there were lights and exhibits at intervals and illusionary displays to break the monotony.

We walked assiduously on and finally, lo and behold — an opening appeared before us and we were dumbfounded by the illusion.

The tunnel has a large puddle of shallow water shimmering in the natural light. As people inched forward to look at the gorge, their reflections could be seen in the puddle. It was like moving art on water.

There were many iPhone and Samsung moments. We were refreshed by the walk and thrilled by the sight. We spent much time just gazing at this human endeavor to create a wonderful illusion.

Kiyotsu gorge is characterized by V-shaped steep gigantic stone cliffs that straddle a river. Used to be, the river rushes down the rocky roads but climate change has affected it somewhat. Nevertheless, it is still magnificent!

After many picture taking, we made our way back to the hotel, pleased with our successful attempt to locate this scenic beauty and natural monument.

What I have learned;

1 Human beings are endowed with a lot of intelligence, talent, and creativity. The building of this tunnel attests to this.

2 We must believe in our accomplishments when we see that man can create a machine that cuts 750m into a mountain. With military precision.

Most of our daily aims should be easily achievable.

3 We must not lose the passion to explore and be awed by things around us. Let us be inspired always.

4 Human beings will always be innovative like the owner of this manuscript writing cafe who has a brilliant idea and turn it into a business to benefit both parties.

A business that makes people coerce themselves to hit their deadlines by targeting their pockets. I discover that a hurt pocket does move one’s ambition.

While writing furiously, I was aware of my yen diminishing but manage to finish in under 15 minutes which cost me Y250. Even though it is only $2.50 I discovered that I work well under pressure especially if the time taken costs money.

Many valuable lessons were learned from this trip and that’s what keeps me traveling in this inspiring world.

Tamper it for they will never go away…

Oct 13th 2022 4 min read

There is nothing to fear but fear itself – Franklin D Roosevelt.

This powerful phrase has guided my life largely and will continue to tease me for the rest of my life.

My list of fears is long. Some still reside in me despite my knowing that I can overcome them.

I fear it because it’s unknown.

I fear it because it may be dangerous.

I fear because I may die.

Many fears are unfounded. It’s not like facing a predatory animal where the human is more likely to be killed.

Staying in my comfort zone does not allow me to discover the wonders of living. It does not stimulate my senses nor does it make me more knowledgeable and confident.

My first fear was public speaking. I had no clue how to conduct myself and speak appropriately and sensibly. That did cause me to lose many opportunities in life. I think it was just the fear of looking stupid, having nothing to say, and being judged.

It took me many years to enroll in courses to break my fear. At the British Council, Dale Carnegie Course, Sylvia McCully’s course, and finally SIM2 Toastmasters club. I find Toastmasters club not only more structural and economical, but it is also more effective.

30 years with Toastmasters have seen insidious personal growth and that is directly proportional to my extent of active participation in its program. Nevertheless, the opportunity to give speeches guided by proper manuals, effective evaluations by experienced Toastmasters, and also the chance to develop leadership qualities by being an exco member largely contribute to my personal and career growth.

Speaking is cathartic, it is healing. It builds self-confidence and self-esteem. The fear may not totally go away but it is certainly tamed with practice and experience.

My second fear was of the sea. I would never go into the deep because I could not swim at first. During my U days, I started to tread in the pool water at a depth not enough to drown me, and watched by a friend eventually enabled me to swim.

For years, my husband who was an avid scuba diver would coax me to take lessons and regaled me with stories of the beautiful marine life and the fishes.

One day, I did sign up for the course and had theory plus pool and sea training.

The first time in the sea was quite hilarious. As the environment was new to me, I was terrified of what could be lurking around me. I stayed so close to my instructor that our air tanks collided in the sea a few times, sending the sound reverberating through the blue and certainly could have summoned some unsavory creatures our way.

But with time and numerous ‘scary’ dives, I became more relaxed and appreciative of the colorful marine life around me and how the fishes were swimming without a care about the tumultuous world above them.

My fear of the sea had largely diminished when I learned more about safe scuba diving, keeping to its protocol, and remaining calm under all circumstances to deal with the situation at hand.

My third fear is that of being alone — in a dark place, a foreign land, or an unknown environment. This is tough because you really do not know what to expect.

I remembered the first time I went to Male, which is the Capital of The Maldives, supposedly to meet up with my husband who would arrive from Colombo.

It was the early hours and in the surrounding darkness of the small airport which could be described as a simple building, I arrived to a sea of beaming faces, and white teeth eagerly wanting to know where I wanted to go. I was to take the speedboat to Olhuveli, an island about one hour away.

Fear seized me. Why were these people so friendly? I held my belongings tightly and asked them where they were from. When the right resort name came up, I boarded the speedboat, relieved that there were a few other tourists.

When we reached the resort, still in pitch darkness, the bell boy in his sarong attire carried my luggage and we walked at least 50m along a dark rocky path to a two-storey nondescript building and I was ushered to a ground-floor room. I was too fearful to say anything and hoped that my husband would show up soon. He did not.

I slept with the lights and my shoes on. I did fell asleep, probably exhausted from fear. The next day, when I woke up and drew the curtains, I was mesmerized by the view of the turquoise color sea. The morning breeze refreshed me, the trees swayed and the birds chirped. I was in paradise. The fear was imagined and my husband soon turned up, delayed in Colombo and unable to establish connections with the resort. We had no internet and mobiles then.

These are still my main fears but they are somewhat subdued by self-reasoning, proper planning, and prayer. What would I do? I think it is best to keep doing it and wonderful things can happen because you enter a different realm and a whole new experience.

Fears will always be there but I have decided to seize fear by its ugly head. I will still take calculated risks because that is the only way to live.