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Nov 5th 2023, 2 min read

A person without a direction is like a ship without a rudder; One simply revolves on the spot while finding his way.

There are 6 key steps to effect a remarkable change.

1 Never stop learning.. The job that you think is an iron rice bowl can still be broken. Your ability cannot.

Continue to expand on your ability, knowledge and outlook. This will upskill yourself to meet up with the demands of the everchanging world.

Continue to imbibe knowledge whether financial, societal, philosophical, etc as. it brings one to a higher intellectual level of thought to understand the underlying logic of life .

2 Be simple – This is a panacea for the perplexed heart. Sometimes letting go is an absolute skill to have when there is a deluge of goods or information even social events .

Less on materialism, less on fame and fortune, less on desires. All are not easy to do.

But Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication and the way to clarity of thought.

3 Develop a skill

Best way to be respected and accepted is to be good in at least one thing.

As you pursue your passionate field or interest, you become unique and almost often irreplaceable, job wise.

And closer to the pink of perfection which grants immense satisfaction.

4 Build tolerance – Those who live well do so not because they are not beset with problems, it’s that they are encompassing, peaceful, contented and grateful.

Choosing a good state of mind is a choice.

Things become less troubling and one becomes less complaining.

At your lowest point, you are able to accept and adapt. At your peak, you preserve your principles.

5 Do what you dislike – often it’s something challenging but useful. The advice given is; Bite the bullet and do it!

Many good things are done out of helplessness and the result is unimaginable success.

Do what you dislike or scares you first. You may discover new potential.

6 Enable yourself to more choices to cope with life’s vicissitudes.

Explore alternative approach to a potential problem.

Like cut your nails with your left hand as well so that you can use your left one when the right hand is hurt.

In other words, use both hands and be prepared. If one method fails, you still have another.

Conclusion;

Change will always be there and become more seemingly insurmountable. But people can cope if they would adopt some of these strategies mentioned and move in tandem with change.

12th Sept 2023. 3 min read

Diving in Bali by author

I thought with 350 scuba dives under my belt, I would generally have smooth dives in Bali or anywhere else. 

I would not want to pose as a headache to my dive guide as a senior diver to boot.

Over the years, I have learned to keep my balance air use to above 1000 psi to indicate my effective breathing technique and the optimal use of the air tank which can be a reserve for my dive buddy should he or she needs it.

I have become more aware of my diving depth so as not float towards the surface unconsciously resulting in triggering the 3 m safety stop. Moreover, there may be passing boats which is a danger to the unaware diver.

My hearing alertness has been enhanced for survival.

My buoyancy is quite good as I do not scrape against any corals hard or soft causing damage that may require decades to recover.

But during one of the dives, a final one at Blue Lagoon, Bali, the unthinkable happened.

In my enthusiasm to hover over the beautiful creatures of the sea, we took turns as each diver with camera went near for their best shot.

As I moved away, I thought my guide was waiting for me and proceeded to trail behind him. Most dive guides looked the same in the water with the their hoods, black wet suits and fins. 

I trailed behind him for sometime, thinking it was my guide and my buddy in front with yellow fins.

Little did I know; when he turned around, I realized that they were the wrong guide and wrong buddy. By then, the rest of the group had disappeared from view.

Surprisingly I did not panic, no rapid heartbeats, no cold feet and chills down my spine, maybe that could be the result of reading all the positive articles on medium. 

My assessment was that I could surface and bob  on the sea with my inflated balloon but that would be a risk as I would be alone and the surging waves above may crash me against the rocks and cliff at a random spot.

I chose to swim towards the dive guide in front of me and signalled to him that I had lost my group. Fortunately, he waved for me to follow both of them.

My next thought was how my senior buddy must have felt frantic having lost me and the diving for the rest could be aborted. I felt guilty.

I was surprised at my composure and my decision but at that point, negative thoughts did seep in. What if these two local divers bring me to an isolated spot to surface. I would be captive.

My inner response was that I was allowing negative thoughts to overwhelm me but I tried to believe in the good nature of the locals in a touristy area. 

Well, I reasoned that I could become their dentist with my invaluable skills I thought  and teach the locals English using google translate?

Finally, we did surface after performing the safety stop and emerged with waves pounding at us mercilessly. I apologised for the inconvenience caused. I blurted out  the name of the dive guide which I suddenly recalled and he immediately named the boat. It is a small community among the dive guides.

In a matter of minutes, my dive guide arrived in his small borrowed motor boat and was visibly upset. Apparently, my dive buddy had triggered an emergency search for me, the missing diver.

As for me, I am glad that the passage of time and reading positive stuff have mellowed me to a point of sensibility in the face of adversity. 

After all, what can a panicked mind do though I concede that there was an internal stress that caused me to forget who my guide was and the name of our boat during the dive with these unknown divers. A little post traumatic syndrome.

It all came back after silencing and sorting out my thoughts eventually.

All was well. When I was returned to the boat, my diving operator was cool as cucumber and jokingly said that dinner would be on me.

I told that him I had given him a wet run for handling future missing divers. It was bound to happen again. Then I calmed my buddy.

There were lessons to be learned.

They could add the management of being lost to the divers during future briefings so that no other divers needed be interrupted in their dives.  Key is to remain calm and think what is the best course of action. And trust that the operators will look for them.

Lessons learned

1 Adopting a composed mind would help more than panic. 

2 Life will always throw us off balance when we least expect it.

3 We are more resourceful than we think.

4 People are kinder than we think.

5 Cut out negative thoughts as they cloud the mind. If it is going to happen, we still have to deal with it

6 Look for something positive from the episode and gain more wisdom.

7 Find some humour in it and make everyone laugh to relieve tensions.

I am thankful for the experience. It was not deliberate but it does reveal where my weakness lies and I am sure to overcome this Archilles heel.

3rd Sept 2023. 1 min read

By Rosalind Ho using canva.com

Death took away my friend on 29th August 2023.

I remembered that afternoon vividly. The door to the flat was unlocked.

With a creak, I pushed it open and called out to my friend.

I had received news from a former classmate that she wanted to see me—-which was puzzling as I have never really made friends in school, being a loner.

I went immediately.

My friend called out for me to enter and there seated inside in the living room at the table, she was masked.

She greeted me immediately with joy!

I was very touched that she wanted me to come to visit her.

Struck by terminal cancer, she had been back home for a scheduled radiotherapy.

She had wanted to meet some friends to catch up on our lives thus far.

‘You are looking good!’ she exclaimed. I told her to unmask herself and said to her ‘ you are looking good too!’ That radiant smile was still there after 35 years when we last met.

We chatted and I felt that our stories that spanned over decades needed to be condensed in that hour and a half so as not to tire her.

In short, she had worked hard and did well in her host country, Malaysia after her marriage.

She had raised three successful children with luminous careers including her own but separated from her spouse who also has an eminent career.

We have so much to thank for despite some setbacks in our lives. At least she received three precious sperms never mind the lacklustre and loveless marriage, I joked. We laughed at the thought.

Looking at the collections of old pictures  stored on the laptop evoked fond memories.

What a vivacious, bubbly lady she was as a student and when we met again. That infectious smile never left her as we talked.

She was well liked in class, crowned M/s photogenic, industrious, charming  and she really enjoyed her time in school.

Nevertheless, it was fun and hilarious reminiscing old times and she looked cheerful and attractive in all the pictures while I was spotted looking sullen in the pictures. It triggered laughter again because we realized how things could change, me, now being more cheerful and chatty and she was evermore lovely.

My friend was forever upbeat. She was hopeful and faithful to God and always grateful. She told me that I made her very happy that day and I was glad too. 

We ended with a prayer for her well-being, entrusting God to see to her recovery.

Meeting her has inspired me to be courageous in times of adversity. 

She handled her condition with courage, humour and dignity. Three days later, she departed. Death might have robbed us of a good friend but not her legacy which was the message to live life joyfully and to the best of one’s ability regardless of its circumstances.

23/7/23. 1 min read ( poetry)

By the author at Desaru beach

Just when you think you can’t

You can

As in writing poetry

The words do not flow

As the mind is muddled

But…

See the sights

Hear the sounds

Feel the touch

Sniff the waft

Taste if you can

That will evoke the spirit in you

The emotions you are endowed

The sense of gratitude they will elicit

Including the feelings of awe around you

The opportunities to savour life, always

And the poetry comes

1st July 2023 1 min read

A monologue

Why people ultimately do not get along

Does not require a genius to figure out

In every situation, put yourself in the other person’s shoes

And see things from her perspective

What is good for you may not be good for her

No matter how much you think you are correct

May not appear so to her who makes a personal decision

In fact, overstepping the line of her freedom

Is an utter disdain and disrespect to her

Dispense your advice but do not insist

Give your views and no more

Be gentle and not grating

Then step away and let her nature take its course

She would start to mull over what you have said somehow

She would decipher what is the preferred approach

She would draw nearer to you if she wants to

That is the moment of openness, trust, and acceptance

That is the moment to render your unbearable urge to help

Meanwhile, repel, refrain, and resist the temptation to change others

Do not ask to be snubbed

Leave things be and know when you are not needed

Everything will be alright.

17th March 2023 3 min read

I live in Bruce Lee’s era.

Bruce Lee said, “ Water is formless, shapeless. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, in a bottle, it becomes a bottle, be like water.”

I did not understand what he meant until I studied the traits of water. Then I realized that water is a remarkable element we could apply to our lives.

Water is soft yet hard. When exposed to extremely cold weather, water becomes ice. Even an axe may not crack it but would craze it many times before it shatters.

It can round the edges of rock as it flows around them and persistent dripping water can perforate a stone.

Be like water, unyielding in times of hardship, strong in sorrow, and persistent in challenges.

Water is changeable. When. exposed to extreme heat, it vaporizes. Try to contain the steam and it turns back to the water.

Be like water, flexible, adaptable, and versatile. Many times, we think we hit a wall but when you think like water, you will find many ways to get around it.

Water is all-encompassing. It flows through the rocks into crevices without seemingly any obstruction. It moves smoothly without hesitation yet it will reach its final destination which is the ocean.

Be like water, inclusive, tolerant, and forgiving.

It means to try not to get into any disputes but circumvent them. This leaves one more time and energy to pursue our goals.

There were many instances in which I could apply this philosophy。

Recently I tried to live like water when I went skiing. It was my first time on the intermediate slopes at the behest of the coach who believed in me. As he glided down the steep gradient, I watched him with trepidation. There was no choice but to follow as he became distant.

I told myself to be like water… Go with the flow – -fluid, flexible, and calm like a trickling brook that traverses over the pebbles and rocks. Slow and steady, the snow suddenly became agreeable to me.

After we got to the base, he insisted that I try again which I resisted. Then I remembered the persistence of the dripping water on the rock. I tried the slopes again and many more times and it did pay off.

I was able to experience what it was like on intermediate slopes, learned to control my movements, at the same time, viewed Mount Yotei from a higher perspective.

Recently, I lived like water again when I encountered an irate patient who did not understand her challenging bone situation. She was not able to wear dentures for 20 years.

By taking a compassionate stand, I became like water and filled up her metaphorical cup. Then I understood how she felt being not able to eat which was her most basic need. Like flowing water, there was no need to compel her to my views and argue. Like Stillwater, I listened.

Together, we worked with the laboratory towards a feasible solution and she also began to accept her limitations and learned to adapt to her new dentures.

Finally, water is purification. No matter how dirty a place or object is, water cleanses it. It means to be pure and kind always and you will receive peace in return.

Live like water.

Be unyielding in some circumstances. Flexible in some and all-encompassing and kind.

These days, nobody can make me angry, anxious, or unhappy because I live like water.