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3rd Sept 2023. 1 min read

By Rosalind Ho using canva.com

Death took away my friend on 29th August 2023.

I remembered that afternoon vividly. The door to the flat was unlocked.

With a creak, I pushed it open and called out to my friend.

I had received news from a former classmate that she wanted to see me—-which was puzzling as I have never really made friends in school, being a loner.

I went immediately.

My friend called out for me to enter and there seated inside in the living room at the table, she was masked.

She greeted me immediately with joy!

I was very touched that she wanted me to come to visit her.

Struck by terminal cancer, she had been back home for a scheduled radiotherapy.

She had wanted to meet some friends to catch up on our lives thus far.

‘You are looking good!’ she exclaimed. I told her to unmask herself and said to her ‘ you are looking good too!’ That radiant smile was still there after 35 years when we last met.

We chatted and I felt that our stories that spanned over decades needed to be condensed in that hour and a half so as not to tire her.

In short, she had worked hard and did well in her host country, Malaysia after her marriage.

She had raised three successful children with luminous careers including her own but separated from her spouse who also has an eminent career.

We have so much to thank for despite some setbacks in our lives. At least she received three precious sperms never mind the lacklustre and loveless marriage, I joked. We laughed at the thought.

Looking at the collections of old pictures  stored on the laptop evoked fond memories.

What a vivacious, bubbly lady she was as a student and when we met again. That infectious smile never left her as we talked.

She was well liked in class, crowned M/s photogenic, industrious, charming  and she really enjoyed her time in school.

Nevertheless, it was fun and hilarious reminiscing old times and she looked cheerful and attractive in all the pictures while I was spotted looking sullen in the pictures. It triggered laughter again because we realized how things could change, me, now being more cheerful and chatty and she was evermore lovely.

My friend was forever upbeat. She was hopeful and faithful to God and always grateful. She told me that I made her very happy that day and I was glad too. 

We ended with a prayer for her well-being, entrusting God to see to her recovery.

Meeting her has inspired me to be courageous in times of adversity. 

She handled her condition with courage, humour and dignity. Three days later, she departed. Death might have robbed us of a good friend but not her legacy which was the message to live life joyfully and to the best of one’s ability regardless of its circumstances.

23/7/23. 1 min read ( poetry)

By the author at Desaru beach

Just when you think you can’t

You can

As in writing poetry

The words do not flow

As the mind is muddled

But…

See the sights

Hear the sounds

Feel the touch

Sniff the waft

Taste if you can

That will evoke the spirit in you

The emotions you are endowed

The sense of gratitude they will elicit

Including the feelings of awe around you

The opportunities to savour life, always

And the poetry comes

1st July 2023 1 min read

A monologue

Why people ultimately do not get along

Does not require a genius to figure out

In every situation, put yourself in the other person’s shoes

And see things from her perspective

What is good for you may not be good for her

No matter how much you think you are correct

May not appear so to her who makes a personal decision

In fact, overstepping the line of her freedom

Is an utter disdain and disrespect to her

Dispense your advice but do not insist

Give your views and no more

Be gentle and not grating

Then step away and let her nature take its course

She would start to mull over what you have said somehow

She would decipher what is the preferred approach

She would draw nearer to you if she wants to

That is the moment of openness, trust, and acceptance

That is the moment to render your unbearable urge to help

Meanwhile, repel, refrain, and resist the temptation to change others

Do not ask to be snubbed

Leave things be and know when you are not needed

Everything will be alright.

17th March 2023 3 min read

I live in Bruce Lee’s era.

Bruce Lee said, “ Water is formless, shapeless. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, in a bottle, it becomes a bottle, be like water.”

I did not understand what he meant until I studied the traits of water. Then I realized that water is a remarkable element we could apply to our lives.

Water is soft yet hard. When exposed to extremely cold weather, water becomes ice. Even an axe may not crack it but would craze it many times before it shatters.

It can round the edges of rock as it flows around them and persistent dripping water can perforate a stone.

Be like water, unyielding in times of hardship, strong in sorrow, and persistent in challenges.

Water is changeable. When. exposed to extreme heat, it vaporizes. Try to contain the steam and it turns back to the water.

Be like water, flexible, adaptable, and versatile. Many times, we think we hit a wall but when you think like water, you will find many ways to get around it.

Water is all-encompassing. It flows through the rocks into crevices without seemingly any obstruction. It moves smoothly without hesitation yet it will reach its final destination which is the ocean.

Be like water, inclusive, tolerant, and forgiving.

It means to try not to get into any disputes but circumvent them. This leaves one more time and energy to pursue our goals.

There were many instances in which I could apply this philosophy。

Recently I tried to live like water when I went skiing. It was my first time on the intermediate slopes at the behest of the coach who believed in me. As he glided down the steep gradient, I watched him with trepidation. There was no choice but to follow as he became distant.

I told myself to be like water… Go with the flow – -fluid, flexible, and calm like a trickling brook that traverses over the pebbles and rocks. Slow and steady, the snow suddenly became agreeable to me.

After we got to the base, he insisted that I try again which I resisted. Then I remembered the persistence of the dripping water on the rock. I tried the slopes again and many more times and it did pay off.

I was able to experience what it was like on intermediate slopes, learned to control my movements, at the same time, viewed Mount Yotei from a higher perspective.

Recently, I lived like water again when I encountered an irate patient who did not understand her challenging bone situation. She was not able to wear dentures for 20 years.

By taking a compassionate stand, I became like water and filled up her metaphorical cup. Then I understood how she felt being not able to eat which was her most basic need. Like flowing water, there was no need to compel her to my views and argue. Like Stillwater, I listened.

Together, we worked with the laboratory towards a feasible solution and she also began to accept her limitations and learned to adapt to her new dentures.

Finally, water is purification. No matter how dirty a place or object is, water cleanses it. It means to be pure and kind always and you will receive peace in return.

Live like water.

Be unyielding in some circumstances. Flexible in some and all-encompassing and kind.

These days, nobody can make me angry, anxious, or unhappy because I live like water.

26th Feb 2023 2 min read

I look back at the good times and bad times.

I am deeply thankful for all the experiences, regardless.

Good times were little moments of surprises, laughter, and happiness.

Looking at the innumerable old photos bring back memories of many vacations taken with the children, watching them wide-eyed, smiling, chuckling, and enjoying activities.

They are close siblings, and I am thankful. Better that they are close to each other and have no sibling rivalry. Their relationship is for the long term.

Remembering how my loved one would arrange small vacations, too many and too close for my liking as I had to juggle work and fun but in hindsight, they have led to many indelible memories, experiences, and kodak moments then.

Good times taught us to be grateful for this blessing to have fun as a family and not to take things for granted. To have time together is priceless. We hope to remain unbroken forever.

Bad times were invaluable too, not that one would like to have them but lessons resulted from their occurrences.

What was construed as bad times? When things did not go as desired; such as a trip went awry. When family members were at loggerheads for the silliest reasons. When there was a health crisis.

Well, lessons abound. The answers were with us all along. There was no need to expound on the reasons. It was the law of cause and effect.

All one needed was self-reflection, adjustment, and resolution to put things right. The importance of forgiveness of others and self to start again.

We are thankful for the bad times. Painful as expected, they were necessary to shake one out of complacency.

Going forward, the family has matured with the parents getting on in age and the children fully grown. What is important is autonomy for each to pursue life with meaning, live life with zest, and be of use to people around us.

It is necessary to have space among us each, to have tranquility, peace, and respect. As well as love, gratitude, and unity to come together and celebrate a jolly good time occasionally.

Life is likened to riding the waves of a rough sea. It’s unlikely to be smooth and each has to contend with challenges on his or her own terms and grow ever stronger.

Wabi Sabi, a great way of life

26th Jan 2023. 3 min read.

I bought this irregular piece of pottery at a local cafe shop displaying the artwork of young artists.

I wanted to support the local artists to encourage them for their effort and it is an extra source of income for hardworking people.

Pottery takes time to create ideas, weeks and months, even years to hone this craft, and patience to shape and bring it to its final glory.

What strikes me most about this piece is the irregularity and not the perfect and flawless symmetry that I used to look for in craftwork.

It reminds me of Wabi Sabi, the Japanese philosophy of imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness and finding beauty in it.

Wabi Sabi is to embrace that life is a cycle of growth and decay and one must find wisdom moving through life.

Wabi Sabi as I see it.

Imperfections in Life

While living each day bring challenges, practicing Wabi Sabi helps me see that one should use kindness as much as possible.

The world can be a harsh place to live in as some humans have the propensity to judge, criticize and condemn. This can happen in any society even at home.

Practising Wabi Sabi means forgiving others who are finding their ways in life and have made mistakes.

It means forgiving yourself when you have erred and trying to rectify it.

It means being mindful that human beings are imperfect.

I have been discouraged by others when I was younger so I would prefer to encourage, enlighten and empower others with the knowledge that I have. If not, I could find someone who can.

I forgive those who are brash and cunning because the problems are with them.

This is a more compassionate and constructive way of living with others.

Impermanence in Life

Life goes in a flash. Practising Wabi Sabi makes me mindful of the fleeting nature and impermanence of life hence I would treasure time to improve myself in many aspects – communication, education, and the application of life principles that I believe in.

This I hope would impress my children and some to do the same.

I would treasure with my loved ones and good friends the happy and fruitful times we have together and seize every moment that is memorable. What’s left are indelible, inspiring memories.

Incompleteness in Life

Wabi Sabi is about the incompleteness of living.

Life is not completed in death. We return to nature from whence growth comes back to nurture us.

Work can never be completed even as a retiree as there is always stuff to attend to.

Aging is ongoing as we are works of nature.

Hence, practicing Wabi Sabi means that I must make time to appreciate the power and beauty of nature and slow down to inculcate a daily life balance. So that the true beauty of nature and the seasons do not just whisk past me.

The next time, you want to throw away something old, think Wabi Sabi. As it also discourages waste.

Is there any aesthetic in it?

Is there an important lesson behind it?

Is it still functional?

It may be flawed but since life is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete, maybe it could become an inspirational object.