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Oct 8th 2022 3 min read

In my younger school days, I was bankrupt of ideas during essay writing.

Life was simple, routine, and stress-free. I also did not cultivate a love for reading, spending most of my time after school playing.

When I was accepted into a so-called elite school by the skin of my teeth, I was elated.

Little did I know that my self-esteem would then take an unstoppable fall after that.

Many of the students were from well-heeled families who came in chauffeured cars and were prepped for life not to mention school.

Some have private tutors to coach them in English and Mandarin and they could even write poetry. Some were maths geniuses and some had incredible memory power.

Some were just plain intelligent.

I was a mediocre student, from a simple and poor background, and had coveted a brand-name school known for its brainy students and future leaders.

Naturally, I paled greatly in comparison to them in my studies.

The low self-esteem resulting from the inability to write prose was further compounded when my teacher flung my book out the window one day.

I remembered walking down four floors of the school building dejectedly to retrieve my writing book. It was followed by many occasions of my name being announced whenever I failed an assignment.

It resulted in my belief that I was neither academic nor smart and it marred my attempts to achieve in many other aspects of my life – due to the feeling of not being good enough.

It also made me realize that the world only had eyes for the rich, the smart and the brave and I was none of that.

Nevertheless, I was able to complete my University studies. What really made me progress in my life was learning communication skills which is a confidence booster.

Almost every form of success hinges on the fact that one could express succinctly and sensibly. More progress followed when I joined the medium and started writing and reading others’ works.

I felt my life, thoughts, and decision-making improved by leaps and bounds. Most of the articles on the medium are positive, based on thoughts, research, and experiences shared by other authors.

As I have benefited greatly from others, I would also like to pay it forward in my writings and speech-making at Toastmasters Club meetings.

My motto as regards interaction with people in my daily life is this;

“Do not put anyone down. If you can, show him or her the ropes gently. Otherwise, just shut up and walk away. It is less damaging to the self-worth.”

There is also the counterargument that by being harsh, you may spur the ignorant or lazy to greater heights.

In some cases, it may help, in hindsight but sometimes you may unintentionally kill off a person’s passion or potential for a long time, especially in a young one.

This is my experience and it takes a lot of undoing.

Currently, I can relate to people who may not have enough confidence in doing certain tasks. Especially when they just entered the working world.

It is not because they are not able, they need a patient mentor who is calm, compassionate, and communicates clearly. People thrive on positivity, possibility, and encouragement.

No belittling, insults, or insinuations. We all have tasted that before.

Unless a person shows no interest to learn, it is always good to understand that he or she is fearful of failure and needs kind words.

People forget that they were naive and foolish and made many mistakes when they were younger too.

When one is inclined to criticize and chide others for their mistakes, remember that we have been down that road before.

For some, they have met gracious people who prodded them on. Others may be angered and spurred on to do better. For others, they could be disillusioned by the treatment and become bitter and critical themselves.

In any case, be kind in words and deeds. I would say that kindness has paid back in many ways, much more than I could imagine.

Oct 4th 2022 2 min read

I had woken up a few times through the night.

There had been a radiating and excruciating pain in my left toe and it prevented me from returning to my slumber.

I looked at my toe which had the nail torn unconsciously while reading. A bad habit of mine is picking and tearing my nails.

I must admit that I rarely have painful episodes and feel lucky.

I only recall rare incidents like a fall while skiing causing a stretched tendon in my knee. A bout of food poisoning resulted in diarrhea and vomiting. And a sprained neck due to poor sleep position.

My first thought was to cancel my rocking climbing lesson that was to take place this evening.

This would disappoint not only myself who has been looking forward to it as well as my young coach who has put aside his other plans to train me. But one must be considerate and not cancel last minute.

I almost grabbed my mobile to text my coach to cancel but I decided to grab something to eat at this wee hour of the morning before popping in a painkiller.

I have rarely taken painkillers and it should work for me.

Twenty minutes later, the pain was gone! Indeed, medicine is marvelous! It got me thinking about those soldiers and civilians caught in war. When there is injury and intense pain and no medicine is available. My heart goes out to them.

My incident tells me ;

Don’t give in so fast. Do what you can to carry on as planned.

To feel grateful to be in the situation that I am in, with the availability of medicine in Singapore.

Always stay positive because negative thoughts tend to be predominant.

How I make reading more effective.

Sept 4th, 2022 3 min read

Things do not change until you change. It begins with self-analysis

Why do I know so little information?

Why do I get so little done?

Why do I not achieve the goals that I have set?

It’s because I don’t read enough. Why so?

A self-analysis uncovers the fact that I tend to be supine when reading which is not a favorable position to adopt. Most times, I would drift into a slumber and wake up a few hours later with time left to do my other chores.

My answer is that I need to sit at a desk or on a reading couch to engage in this activity. I would be better off taking a nap if it is really necessary than bringing a book to the bed. Since researching this common problem, my reading has improved markedly.

Now, I focus on time for reading. One should know one’s downtime when the mind is less alert. Reading more complex matters requires one to be fully alert while easy reading can be done when there is a challenge to mental retention. In this respect, I am a morning lark as well as a night owl.

Eating less helps physiologically as more blood is directed to the digestive system after eating a full meal. Hence, most people are less attentive after heavy meals. Snacking on some healthy snacks during reading may help keep one awake.

I found out that staying hydrated keeps one satiated and increases oxygen flow throughout the body. This makes me realize that I do not drink enough water in the first place.

One strategy that works for me is to regularly break the boredom of sitting down or the monotony of reading by going for a short walk maybe to the kitchen, around the house, or to a nearby shop to pick up an item. The action of walking itself sometimes generates ideas that can supplement my reading. Even a few minutes of stretching and breathing exercises refresh the mind and body.

I try not to break the monotony by using the mobile, a device of alluring colors and contents that can cause one to keep scrolling and lose the track of time. Moreover, it also tires the eyes.

One of the most effective ways that I sometimes use is to read aloud while walking around in the room with my reading material. Reading aloud also helps to etch the facts into my brain effectively.

Putting pen to paper to write unfamiliar words to decipher later or important concepts do engage my mind better and make reading more effective.

Playing some background music can assist in my reading. In my case, classical music helps. Relaxation spa music does the opposite but for some, heavy metal music is useful so it depends on the individual.

I am glad that I broach this subject as I feel that reading enriches my life and have explored ways to improve it. As a working individual, it leaves very little time at the end of the workday to imbibe the wisdom and knowledge found in books. Hence, I believed that the above steps adopted will see me reading happily into the future.

July 10th, 2022 3 min read

A story goes like this;

There was a young monk who could not keep still during his meditation.

During each session, he was disturbed by the specter of a spider crawling in front of him.

The young monk told his master that he could not chase the spider away. His master then suggested that during each session, he circled the spider with his pen to see where it was exactly.

The young monk did as told and he felt relaxed after that. But when he opened his eyes later, he found that he had circled his own belly.

The master told him, “Young man, you need to have a quiet mind and heart. Only in this way, you can stay detached from the rest of the happenings and enjoy your life in peace.

I am much like the young monk except that my spider will be running berserk and I cannot circle it.

To quiet my mind, I would like to. mention three ways that have helped me enter a peaceful realm and I hope they are useful to you too.

1 The magic of listening to music.

It’s only recently that I find. classical and. instrumental music contributes much to my general well-being and mood. Guess I have been caught up with life.

On research, classical music has a calming effect that releases dopamine, the feel-good hormones that clear thinking and reduce cortisol and. blood pressure.

This Mozart effect has instilled general calm in everyone in my workplace. I tried it on my active puppy who would literally roll over and snooze in a matter of minutes.

2 The magic of staying positive

I try to read something positive every day.

Every day we are bombarded with bad news – now the world has a climate crisis, war crisis, financial crisis, food crisis, oil crisis, migrant crisis, etc

What can one really do?

Choose to switch your focus to more positive news.

I do my part to alleviate any situation by praying, reducing waste, giving away my excess stuff and noting that steps are being taken globally to solve existing problems.

I know that remarkable progress is made on a daily basis and the world is not going to be extinguished. Things will get better.

3 The magic of Being in the now.

This brings me to a story;

A student once asked his teacher, “ Master, what is enlightenment?”

The master replied, “ When hungry, eat, when tired, sleep.”

Based on this teaching, I am not an enlightened person at all. Because my mind lights up like a 1000W bulb when I am eating or sleeping. My good friend tells me that I need to calm my tsunami mind.

I try to live in the now and it is much more calming. I am doing my best in the present moment. The past is gone, and the future is unknown.

Only at that moment when you are fully aware and doing your best, you are fully alive.

Conclusion;

Three simple steps – By using the magic of listening to classical music, the magic of staying positive, and the magic of living in the now, I have attained much inner peace and quiet.

A writer on medium saved me.

Jun 21st 2022 2 min read

I was trying to get back to picking up my Jap language which I have left on the back burner for almost 5 years.

The language has never left me but the standard that I have built myself to when I last studied it has slid.

I turned to medium and found the article “To succeed at anything, make it insanely easy to take action almost every day” by Thomas Oppong.

I harbored the ambition of joining the Japanese speech contest for the open category which includes seniors like me. It is on my bucket list.

I have been to Japan countless times but I covert the prize of that. free air ticket that would come with a homestay. But flipping through the Japanese magazine by literary Writers, I was exasperated to be checking almost every other word and whole sentence’s meaning.

After reading Thomas’ article, it dawned on me that I have aimed too high. I should just focus on the simple textbooks that were taught in classes years ago. To retrieve some of the basic sentence structures that have eluded my memory.

To put Thomas’ suggestions into practice, I try to make them simple and actionable, every day.

I put the easiest textbook that I could cope with on the table and marked the article that I know would jerk my memory and start my learning.

I have also allotted time each day to pursue each lesson. Until they become second nature and the words come flooding back.

My Japanese-English app is already on my mobile. My workbook is ready for sentence construction. I will be ready to pen a short article.

Tomorrow and the days ahead will be profitable.

I believe with my daily small actions, will blossom into a meaningful speech.

That is the wonderful thing about medium. The choice and chance to read articles by authors can empower one to carry on pursuing one’s dreams.

It is what I turn to often for motivation and inspiration and I hope to be a contributor too.

Jun 19th 2022 2 min read

Why does some speaker arrests your attention, holds you spellbound, hanging on to their every word like cascading gems? There is really no secret. It boils down to being authentic.

Among Toastmasters who are specially trained through the Toastmasters Pathway designed by Toastmasters International, there would be members who have honed themselves to the point that they become interesting speakers. Such is the value of Toastmasters training but it requires the member to participate earnestly, correct himself with the feedback he has received during each evaluation, and practice fervently.

Recently, we were enlightened much by a veteran Toastmaster who evaluated the meeting where many of the members spoke. He interested us in his evaluation which I feel will bring much progress in our next meeting.

Effective speakers (including evaluators) have the following traits;

Sincerity — A sincere speaker is not pretentious. He states facts that may be backed by evidence. He does not mince his words but there is no malicious attempt to hurt anyone. The words ring true and find approval by the audience as they are rational, reasonable, and real. A sincere evaluator has the courage to put forth his evaluations in a motivating and non-threatening manner to spur more progress in the speaker’s future attempts.

He offers positive feedback with no whitewashing of a fellow speaker’s performance and speech content. That is how the speaker who is being evaluated will improve if he or she does not take it personally.

Discerning — The evaluator has an outstanding judgement ability. This comes with good listening skills which is a focused activity. He will pick up the nuances of the language spoken, highlighting the good use as well as the mistakes made.

As a general evaluator that evening, his comments and recommendations for the speakers and the night’s proceedings were relevant and valuable to future meetings’ outcomes.

Compelling — -Our evaluator made a compelling speech as his speech delivery was smooth and succinct. It helped that he has a good command of the English language.

One need not have complex expressions but he fascinated us with his choice of appropriate choice of words and phrases that painted the scenario for us. In short, he has a fascinating way of speaking without offending yet entertaining and enlightening us.

It takes years of honing one’s speeches involving content, delivery, and language use to reach a level that is seen in an effective speaker.

SIM II Toastmasters Club is one such club that a good speaker wannabe may want to get involved in for a start.